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Women: How to earn yourself instant divorce....FFS!!

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arry
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PostPosted: 08:03 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Women: How to earn yourself instant divorce....FFS!! Reply with quote

Came home from work last night to her indoors prattling on with the usual bout of hysteria about what's happened in her day Rolling Eyes

Gets to about 11:30 and I've had enough TV so it's time for bed - and whilst telling me about what happened in the staff room at lunch she casually drops into the conversation:
"Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you - I reversed the car into the garage earlier and caught your bike"

You, you, you what?! You took MY car, reversed it into MY bike and then you FORGOT to tell me?

You remembered to tell me what you had for lunch, but not that you've crashed my 2 machines into eachother. How the fcuk does that work Rolling Eyes Twisted Evil

Anyone want to buy her off me? 1 careful owner, serviced meticulously, goes well, a bit saggy on the rear but generally solid overall, bodywork not quite as smooth as it used to be but hides the age well, completely fucking (un)reliable and has a penchant for clumsiness....

Thankfully the bike's ok - pushed it forward on it's sidestand until it contacted the garage wall on the mirror, so just pushed the mirror in, big white paint scuff on the rear wheel and a dink on the end of the can.

Grrr!! Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad
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Polo
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PostPosted: 08:39 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Are test rides available with a full cash deposit?
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_Alex_
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PostPosted: 08:41 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heck I'll trade you a pink powerband AND a go faster stripe if she can sit in my saddle.

And people wonder why marriage never works out? Bloody women! Rolling Eyes
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arry
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PostPosted: 08:53 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Minty wrote:
Are test rides available with a full cash deposit?


You break it, you buy it Shocked
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Wilson123 This post is not being displayed because the poster has bad karma. Unhide this post / all posts.

arry
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PostPosted: 09:07 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wilson123 wrote:


Badly damaged?


Nah, turned out to be nothing but a love tap - scuff on the bumper, scratched mirror on the bike - luckily it didn't come off it's stand or there'd have been some very choice words spoken
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 09:19 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked

OMG, if that had been me, I would have made sure himself arrived home to a full steak dinner, asked after his day, listened attentively, suggested coyly that he might like a blowjob for dessert and THEN told him about the bike in between mouthfuls.
(and then stood well back, LOL)



... or I might just do that anyway Wink
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metalangel
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PostPosted: 09:26 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
and THEN told him about the bike in between mouthfuls.


Mouthfuls of steak or cock? Razz
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless Sad
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 09:42 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

jizz Twisted Evil
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arry
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PostPosted: 09:45 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
jizz Twisted Evil


Good girl!
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P.addy
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PostPosted: 09:46 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
jizz Twisted Evil


well played Razz
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metalangel
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PostPosted: 11:04 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
jizz Twisted Evil


You win. Everything.

(this is where HeavyArseRacing went wrong)
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Knacker
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PostPosted: 11:20 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
Shocked

OMG, if that had been me, I would have made sure himself arrived home to a full steak dinner, asked after his day, listened attentively, suggested coyly that he might like a blowjob for dessert and THEN told him about the bike in between mouthfuls.
(and then stood well back, LOL)



... or I might just do that anyway Wink


Please crash into my bike Very Happy
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L-Jam
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PostPosted: 14:15 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have nothing humorous to add to this conversation, so a simple, but effective LOL will suffice. And some dosage of karma to teh funniez.
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Clanger
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PostPosted: 15:46 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

It must be really hard telling the one you love something really bad about the things he loves the most in the world. Which is evident from what you said she did...talking drivel till really late!!!

She must have been really worried about how you'd react.
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metalangel
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PostPosted: 15:57 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clanger wrote:
It must be really hard telling the one you love something really bad about the things he loves the most in the world.

She must have been really worried about how you'd react.


A bit like when you have to call the missus up to tell her you've binned it and the bike is currently in several pieces on the road but no - no love - no, wait - I'm fine. Sore, but fine.
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Flip
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PostPosted: 18:21 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would have got home to the words

"You're going to hate me"

"Now don't be angry"

"It was an accident"...

Laughing
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 18:55 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would have got home with,

" which stupid sod parked his bike in the wrong place?"
"well i drove into it and it's all your fault"
"you can sort the mess out later"
"Think what you are doing in future and stop getting all the big I am"
"Don't think you are going to spend a fortune fixing it, if it is broken you will have to get rid of it, as I don't want a mess around the place"

I'm glad she pissed off.
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Groove
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PostPosted: 18:58 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
I would have got home with,

" which stupid sod parked his bike in the wrong place?"
"well i drove into it and it's all your fault"
"you can sort the mess out later"
"Think what you are doing in future and stop getting all the big I am"
"Don't think you are going to spend a fortune fixing it, if it is broken you will have to get rid of it, as I don't want a mess around the place"

I'm glad she pissed off.


Thats exactly what i would get! Should i leave now? Sad
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Flip
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PostPosted: 19:01 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Groovearmada wrote:


Thats exactly what i would get! Should i leave now? Sad


Yes.
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Bofh5
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PostPosted: 20:40 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
I would have got home with,

" which stupid sod parked his bike in the wrong place?"
"well i drove into it and it's all your fault"
"you can sort the mess out later"
"Think what you are doing in future and stop getting all the big I am"
"Don't think you are going to spend a fortune fixing it, if it is broken you will have to get rid of it, as I don't want a mess around the place"

I'm glad she pissed off.


F*ck were we married to the same woman Wink !
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Bikes: Honda 50 / CB125-TDC / 93 CBR600 F2 (Stolen & Trashed) / 2001 SP-1 (Sold) / 95 CBR600 F3
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andyscooter
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PostPosted: 20:53 - 03 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

now this is why my bikes stay in the garage with a combiation lock on that se dosent know the code too

and i have brand new bikes she has second hand cars

sort you woman out man whay was she in your nice car anyway Shocked
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Bigbaggiesbik...
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PostPosted: 17:24 - 05 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bofh5 wrote:
Skudd wrote:
I would have got home with,

" which stupid sod parked his bike in the wrong place?"
"well i drove into it and it's all your fault"
"you can sort the mess out later"
"Think what you are doing in future and stop getting all the big I am"
"Don't think you are going to spend a fortune fixing it, if it is broken you will have to get rid of it, as I don't want a mess around the place"

I'm glad she pissed off.


F*ck were we married to the same woman Wink !


And is she now dating me? Thinking
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steveh
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PostPosted: 19:37 - 05 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

...Women, know your limits.
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