Today I did do - a pooh in the bushes!!!!

[Blue_SV650S]

Was out today and quite a way from home - or civilization ... and I got the urge - BADLY ...

I tried the cheek squeezing, but realised it was a no-hope, so found a discrete bush and ... well you know!!

have you ever gone 'eu natural'?

And most importantly, what did you use to 'tidy up'???
____________________
The purpose of life is to fight maturity.

[Speedy3]

leaves work well
____________________
Current bike: 2005 Triumph Speed Triple 1050 :: Previous Bikes: 2001 Kawasaki ZZR-600 E9 (Sold) 1996 Yamaha Diversion 600s (Sold),1997 Honda CB250 Nighthawk (Sold), 1988 Honda VFR 400 NC24 (Written Off), 1987 Honda CB350 S-G (Sold), Yamaha DT125 (Sold), Honda X8R-S 50cc (Stolen)

[Ste]

I carry a roll of toilet paper in my car so that if shitting in the countryside or by a road somewhere, I don't have 'tiding up' problems.

Otherwise, I guess pages from the owners manual carried in the glovebox could be used.

[Blue_SV650S]

Thankfully I had some blowing-my-nose type tissue (kitchen towel) in my pocket ... it was sparse, but it did the trick .... or at least got rid of the worst!!!! I rubbed/dragged my hand in the grass to get rid of any 'over-spill'... I know ... I know ...


____________________
The purpose of life is to fight maturity.

[CaPo]

Socks

[Blue_SV650S]

[The Original Muzza]

You are a disgusting little man.
____________________
Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

[Jamie.]

Done it quite a lot of times when out fishing.
I always forget to keep a hold of my john thomas and end up peeing in/over my jeans. (I usually opt for the squat position, rather than finding a branch to perch on)

[Luke_Retrofly]

ONly once, while Hiking accross Exmore. Really needed a dump, and would be about 4 hours until we would be home minimum.

Went for a nudy swim in one of the rivers to clean mself off , fucking freezing, but it was summer so soon warmed up

[Phoenix]

Never thankfully, it's great to be able to control your bowels, i'm sure that's the second time you've told us all you can't help crapping yourself. When you get a bit randy do you also run off into the hedge for a quick tug? The government has a big list you know and they're keeping a space just for you.

[stinkwheel]

Look it up in a book:
https://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c342/zvoncic/how-to-shit-in-the-woods.jpg
Actually quite handy. Has a good guide on positions to adopt which avoid shitting/pissing in your trousers while you're on the job.
____________________
“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[Dragonfly]

Not very lady like but yes I have. I have even mentioned it in here before somewhere when the conversation came up.

I was in a car smoking a joint with my mate and her boyfriend when I to got the sudden urge, there was no time for me to get home. So across the road was a big house, I cheekly ran up to the door hoping that someone would answer and let me in but there appeared to be no one home and all the lights where on ( I remember checking out the interior of the ornate grand old house). So no one answered and I pooed in their garden next to the rabbit hutch and a tree.
Should have answered their f*cking door

twat ex was in bed pissed and couldnt hear me banging door and I had just left for work. I pooed in a bowl on back door step then noticed neighbour takling in washing. I dont know if she seen me crouched behind my wheely bin with my small bowl and log.


pooing in snow is embarassing, steam and all. but couldnt help but laugh at that one.

when you got to go .
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Banned]

Shit thread ...

[mooserx]

Loads of times out of doors, especially when fishing, the first time i had to use a walkers crisp packet to, "ahem", cleanse myself, the worst bit about it is, if you wipe a little to quick it slides right up your back leaving a lovely skidmark up your spine. I always carry a bog roll in my tackle box these dys.
____________________
TL1000r-handful.

[cyberglass]

[JAMSXR]

A few times when out skateboarding in my teens. I think I used a tissue folded repeatedly..
____________________
Honda SFX50 > Aprilia SR125 > Aprilia RS125 > Honda RFV400 > K4 GSXR600 > KTM Duke > C1H 636 > K3 GSXR1000 > Aprilia RSV-R > Triumph Street Triple R > Ducati 899 Panigale > Aprilia Tuono 1100 > Triumph Daytona 675R > KTM SuperDuke 1290 2.0

[mistergixer]

I'll either use a handful of nettles, or put my legs in the air and use my hands to drag my arse along the floor like a dog with worms.
____________________
Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
Mistergixer's videos on YouTube

[the grim reaper]

I remember a story about a bloke who was out fishing and needed to go, he had one of those all in one waterproof suits on but managed to squat anyway. He goes back to fishing and then about half an hour later it started raining, so he put his hood up.

All his mates called him 'Shit-head' from that day on

Cheers

Grim
____________________
Adverts don't always work: Remember that advert, where the army are running across the desert and they have a wounded man on a stretcher. They get to a ravine, the bridge is down and a caption pops up that says, 'What are you thinking?'. I don't know about you but I was thinking, 'Christ, I'm glad I'm not in the f***ing army'.

[Dom_]

You cannot just squat like many people presume. There is a technique to it, you have to assume a reverse crab position so as not to shit all over your boxers and trousers.

[The Shaggy D.A.]

What, no video?
____________________
Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[twotakt]

[Dragonfly]

[The Original Muzza]

Dragonfly you are filth. Worse than Blue_SV650S.
____________________
Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

[Dragonfly]

[Blue_SV650S]