Pranks/Jokes/Amusing situations with mates...

[Fawbish]

So, a little thread to have a natter about the little things in life.


In these dark and depressive times, where economic downfall hangs over us like a heavy thunderstorm, opinions flattened because of political correctness gone off the charts, and every ones a peadophile or a rapist...


...what still makes you laugh every day?


I just started thinking about the little in jokes and pranks me and my mates pull on each other, can be so childish, or stupidly convoluted. What do you do? Those special kind of jokes you can only get away with in company of friends, cos anyone else would try and have you arrested and deported

A tiny, insignificant example of something I was thinking about, me and my mate travelling back from a weekend in leeds, sat on the M62 in his Lexus, making swift progress as it was quite late. Probably pushing about 120 oranges (officer) and out of the blue, I screamed "Shit, POLICE!!!" and then watched his reaction. It was fucking brilliant. Completely prickish of course. I got beat up in due course, as it was a little dangerous, and a little stupid...but its those type of things that we can still enjoy every day. Little jems of laughter that can be had for free.

What are yours?
____________________
"Oh....it looks like Average Joe's is forfeiting the match!" - "Yeah, its a risky strategy but lets see if it pays off for 'em Cotton."

[Itchy]

Clear chilli oil on toilet door handles.

THe screams that come back are blood curdling.
____________________
Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[the grim reaper]

I remember a mate of mine came with me to pick my kids up from Kent one weekend and we were driving back down the M27 and onto the A326 (for those that know it), as we pulled away from the lights a silver Ford Focus, chavved up with a loud exhaust, belonging to a mate came flying past in the outside lane and flew off down the bypass. My mate sent him a text saying 'I take it you didn't see the speed camera on the bridge over the A326 tonight then'. Five minutes later he sent a second text saying 'Just kidding, chav boy'.

The second text didn't get through.

Unbeknown to us, this bloke was showing off to his GF and carried on at 120mph down the full length of the dual carriageway. He panicked, thinking he'd lose his license and was planning to go back to Uni as he would lose his job, he even confessed to his parents and had asked them if he could move back in at home, as without a job he wouldn't be able to pay his rent etc.

It was only by chance that my mate saw him a few days later and, when told of the measures this bloke had gone to, he said, 'Didn't you get my second text then?'. The bloke went mental once he found out it was a wind-up

That one always makes me smile.

Cheers

Grim
____________________
Adverts don't always work: Remember that advert, where the army are running across the desert and they have a wounded man on a stretcher. They get to a ravine, the bridge is down and a caption pops up that says, 'What are you thinking?'. I don't know about you but I was thinking, 'Christ, I'm glad I'm not in the f***ing army'.

[warped one]

I used to put some of that mad dog sauce in peoples buns goes down a treat especially when a few people get the same and the are stacked up on the side, each one of them used to know that one had it in but which.

Others included tying the door handles of the toilets together when both were in use so they would have to sit in there until someone let them out.

We once removed the bosses door handle to his office when it was empty, then little did we know he had a meet straight after dinner. Lost a bollock for that.

The one that always makes me chuckle is when a app fell asleep on site laid on a ladder (still can't work out how) so we shrink wrapped him to it. Then taped him (extra security) then put him upside down in the pick up with his head just in the tub, and took him for a drive round Grimsby. Poor lad was crying when we were finished but laughs about it now.

Warped
____________________
amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

[lostboy]

A mate of mine put an add in the personals so I got a female mate to give him a ring made her self out to be a right dirty bitch said she'd meet him in the pub dressed in a certain way,he rings me to tell me about this girl, so she goes to the pub to meet him and I tag along with her, my mate doesn't know we knew each other and there he is disgusted when he enters the pub and I'm sat there appearing to be on the verge of getting my end away with her right there in the pub, he nearly punched my lights out over that but sees the funny side now.

Best one we ever did though was when we told the same mates mum and dad (who were a bit older and were quite proper) that his brother was a fudge packer, the mum then phoned the brother and he ended up telling her he had a new job at thorntons!
____________________
Never invite a vampire into your house you silly boy!

[Poseidon]

I'm about the only one at work with a sense of humour. Some of the things I've done to the guys there are:

Unravelling till rolls and putting offensive words on them before replacing them in the till, so about a week later a receipt pops out with said expletive (we rarely give the receipts to customers as the till is used more as a culculator for cashing up). As i'm usually nowhere near the site when it happens, no one suspects me... yet

Locking all the filing cabinets and then taking all the keys out and putting them into the wrong locks, so half the day then has to be spent trying each set of keys in each of the cabinets to get into them... obviously it's fairly clear I'm the culprit so I only do it if the guy on the day after me is a push over (though that doesn't stop them calling me a few choice names)

Pushing the office chairs (the ones with arms) under the low counters and pulling the raise leaver with added brute force to wedge the chairs under the counter. Once a guy spent 6 hours standing in the office as he thought I'd bolted them in place. He was more than a little pissed off when I came in and pulled the lever to lower the chair and wheeled them out without any effort!

Convinced the guy in the chair storey that UFO's had landed in the car park by taking pictures of the CCTV monitors and getting the flash on my mobile to reflect off the screen which looked like a mystical white orb. Took numerous photos of the "orb" in different positions for added effect. Had him going for about a week!

I once found a bottle of foundation (make-up) in the car park and put it on the door keypad buttons as I was locking up so the next guy working would get make-up everywhere (which he did, thankfully he never sussed out where it came from though!)

They're the only ones I can think of for now.
____________________
1977 Honda CG125
2002 Ducati Monster S4 (currently restoring)

[headgear]

Went into the toilets, lifted the seats and put cling film over the pans and put the seats back down, I'm pleased I kept quiet obout it one woman had an unplanned bidet moment and a guy pebble dashed his arse. Management went orbital.
____________________
Cover me in tuna and throw me to the lesbians.

[lostboy]

Many years ago had a phone number for the queens secretary and my trick used to be that "someone called liz had phoned and could they ring em back, here's the number" got most of my family with that one, but they changed the bloody number now though.
____________________
Never invite a vampire into your house you silly boy!

[SlimRick]

[Carl_steveo]

Done loads.

When I worked in the kitchens of pubs i've put eggs in peoples coffee/tea. Smeared chilli around the top of pop bottles that were kept in the fridge. Used to heat the handles of metal spoons and ladels up and then leave them for the kitchen porter to pick up and clean.

Lived with a lad called calum. Big scottish goth thing. Whenever he left his room unlocked I would sneak in and steal something like his guitar and that. Then one day noticed it was open I went in and put his entire bedroom in his wardrobe. It was stripped. All I heard was the front door open, calum go upstairs and then my name growled in a deep scot accent at about 4am lol.

In the flats where we lived I hated the flat above was always fighting with them. When ever I passed their mail box I filled it with rubbish and the flyers from the nightclubs. Always saved my left over kebabs and put that in there. Thats not really a prank more bullying though really. Filled the lock with bluetac and stuffed it in there.

Playing football one day I had some gaffer tape in my bag. We grabbed one lad called ben. He was the bullshitter/knobhead tag along of the group so we gaffered him to the fence and left him there for hours.

He got picked on a lot. Hit with frying pans at partys and blobs full of cream thrown at him. Surrounded his scooter with about 200 empty cans after a party weekend. The pictures were mint.

Last one I did was took my mates mattress of his bed and stuffed it behind the wardrobe. Then put the blanket and pillows back on the bed. It's one of those hard wooden divan things. I forgot about it until I got a phonecall the next day. He asked if I had a good time last night I didn't understand what he meant. Turns out he brought a lass back that night and they jumped on the bed and thought he had broke his elbow lol. Needless to say it ruined the night and she left lol.
____________________
Current: Honda Nsr 125
Live: Sunderland
Luke "cant be arsed to read your post, but suck my balls anyway."

[The Shaggy D.A.]

A small puddle of used oil under someone's bike, leave a bolt in it.
____________________
Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[mistergixer]

1) Wait until a work colleague is taking an important phonecall.

2) Stand next to them, and with one finger slowly pull the receiver end of the handset away from their ear. Their natural reaction will be to try pull the handset back to their ear.

3) Slowly relax your finger and allow them to pull the headset back to their ear.

4) Smile at them menacingly as they mouth 'fuck off' to you.

5) Repeat the slow pull/gentle release/menacing smile a couple more times.

6) Now, this time pull the receiver gently, wait for the pull and just let go. The person holding the receiver will undoubtedly clout themselves on the side of the head with the handset.

7) You now have the duration of their call to mock them, however, it is advisable to be quite far away when the phonecall ends.
____________________
Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
Mistergixer's videos on YouTube

[mooserx]

Me and a few pals always used to get the sam lad or his family, some of the pranks played were,

We "accidently" broke the bathroom window in his house, told no-one and pulled the curtains to, they didn't notice for 4 days.

There used to be a guy who drove a mobile fish wagon, Phishy Phil I believe his name was, anyway, at the end of the day he used to leave the big blocks of ice he kept the fish on in the gutter to melt away so me and a pal grabbed one of these up one night and carried into this othe lads living room, cue me shouting him in from the kitchen and just as he came through the door, i leapt on this huge block of fishy ice and smashed it all over his carpet, it stunk for weeks.

Then a few nights later this lads old man was at the pub, so we in our wisdom decided to polish the lino in the kitchen, with wd40, 3 cans of wd40, it was a pisser, like watching bambi trying to walk on the ice.

Then there was the time we got this dude pissed and covered him in duvets and mattress and sweated him so much the sweat came through his leather jacket.

[benjami]

I'm living in halls at the moment, banter and pranks are pretty good so far.

We've taken a girls bed, put it in the kitchen, set the table on it, put the kitchen table in her room and made it into a bed.
Made jelly in the sink, leave stuff to set in it.
Whole mackeral down the toilet.

Moved everything from a mates room to the kitchen without him realising until he unlocked his door.

Took a sheet of paper, poured flour on, put it under the door, hairdryer, and repeat. It makes the room look like a winter wonderland.

Taped up peoples rooms whilst they're in them, and put all kinds of shit in the toilet cistern.

Should probably make it to more lectures tbh.