Funny/weird old man pheasant incident

[The Artist]

Well I was heading off to the local village to get some luncehon after oiling and retensioning my chain and fixing my speedo when I saw this crazy old man.

He was sitting on a wall with a bag, long green coat, kinda like the guy out of hot fuzz with the shotgun under his jacket.

Anyway after I come out the shop, he is getting into a small Merc, not a nice one, just a city car type, don't remember the model.

Anyway I decide to follow him as he is headed in my direction anyway. We do a solid 30mph all the way from the centre to NSL roads where he continues to do 30.

Here comes the interesting bit and I don't care if you don't believe me. Down this big embankment which has a steep hill the other side he is still doing 30 but I see a pheasant jump out from the hedge and smash straight into his passenger side window. He swerves violently over to the other side of the road with oncoming traffic. He goes over the other side and hits a recently planted memorial tree. I think to myself, shit, he might be dead or something so I pull over and he gets out the car and walks over to a wall and sits down. I go and ask him if he's seems normal, spoke like a normal guy.

I called the cops and an ambulance came as well and I just said what happened and they said they would ring me if they needed anything else.

So yeh, I went home.

Before you ask for pics, didn't have my phone with me cus battery lasts about 1 minute from full.

[Dragonfly]

Ok I thought that was going to be interesting but it wasnt. Sorry Ally.
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[The Artist]

I thought it was

[pa_broon74]

I was hoping the pheasant would find itself in one orifice or another...

5/10

It might be an accurate account of what took place, but there's some room for artistic license.


____________________
Didn't catch anything.

[Dragonfly]

yeah you should have made stuff up to make it more interesting like the car window was open and the bird was so fast it impaled your man in the head , there he was slouched over the steering wheel, horn blaring with a pheasant through the head. pheasant was ok they have strong beaks apparently but you had to pull the pheasant out of the bloodied head while it was going beserk.

Then when you realised it to the wild again you called an ambulance but in the mean time a truck came around the corner and smashed into your mans car, the truck was full of pheasants and they where all going to a pheasant competition in town. In the crash the driver got impaled to and you had to pull pheasants out of his head, by this point your all bloody and covered in feathers and decide to abandon the scene for your own sanity.

Later on it appears on the news that the ambulance men had been wiped out by pheasants and the pheasant show had a bad turn out.



Fin


____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[warped one]

Df people say i'm a little messy but my go girl you just took a nice big dump of my tongue with that one. You really are crazy.

For the stroy though.

Warped
____________________
amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

[Dragonfly]

[The Artist]

Surprised no one as noticed it yet

[Billing]

[Dragonfly]

Since you asked kids have cheap plastic chairs because they have become disrespectful. In the olden days they used to give kids small chairs that cost a lot, they had craftmanship in them and where made of wood. Quality stuff. These where given to children to teach them to look after and respect things and it worked, then someone in England somewhere gave a kid a plastic pound shop chair and it all went pear shaped. Kids everywhere erupted at this and started anti social behavior attacking chairs and quickly moving on to everything else. Today kids dont even get chairs in case they kill each other with them according to heath and safty and when they do they are made of plastic and cheap.

I blame plastic chairs on unruly children.
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Billing]

Lol I blame communism and E numbers.

I think I'm just a very angry person, lots of rediculous things that shouldn't annoy me do :S

Like at work, I sometimes have to work on the till. What annoys me is when it gets busy and people come over with a massive load of items, I say bags are just on the end and to feel free to help themselves. They let me finish scanning and accept their payment, but stand there like a gormless twerp waiting for me to pack for them :S It annoys me that in almost every other shop I've ever been in people seem able to pack for themselves!
____________________
'84 TS50X, '91 TZR125, '89 CBR400RR, '91 VFR400R NC30, '98 R1
"Hey copernicus! Why don't you navigate yourself to the back of the line with your feet and stand there with your shit."
BCF Eastern members map here ---> g.co/maps/2tm8b PM me to be added to it!

[Paivi]

Might have been more interesting had it been a peasant.
____________________
My other bike's a Monster...

[Flip]