Why am I so lazy?

[Jamie.]

Hi, I'll explain my situation..

I'm 21, Live with my partner and we have a 7 month old son.

I have no motivation to do any housework, cooking, washing, ironing basically anything.
Dirty dishes will sit for days, even a week sometimes. Washing will pile up until I have no clean clothes/undies.
I don't even wash myself very often, showering about once a week, even longer sometimes (I don't physically smell, just cant be arsed showering)

We argue almost everyday over silly things, usually because of ME and ME not doing anything she asks of me.

Why do I continue to do nothing to help her even tho I know its putting a huge strain on the relationship?

How do I get out of whatever it is im stuck in at the minute?
It seems at the time, I would rather lie on the bed listening to her screaming at me than just get off my arse and do the dishes/stick a wash on.

Anyone else in the same situation, I just can't be arsed with anything... Am I depressed? Showing the first signs of depression?
I would say i'm a relatively happy person, Good job with decent money, I have all the 'things' I want but I just have no motivation to do anything.

I've always been lazy and grew up listening to my mum telling me so growing up. But there must be a way out?
Maybe I need to eat a proper diet and exercise?

Any help/similar stories appreciated.

[yuri2085]

Maybe you could find motivation in making your partner happy/ sons life better (not living in pure filth for the son).

Then maybe your sex life will improve.
Do you love her?


You guys aren't having sex/enough sex and its bringing you down. Try and bring the spark back but also- pull your weight you lazy shit.
Then again is she home all day while you work? Why the hell can't she do the washing?

You should shower.

[Tonka]

Two words: SELF RESPECT!!

Get some, find some, as without it you will be in this pit for a long time. You may well be depressed, but you will need to help yourself first and a good start would be a list written down to tick off and feel a sense of achievement.

It may seem daft but start with get up at whatever o'clock (make it reasonable), make the bed, wash/shower, eat a good breakfast, pop little 'un in a buggy and get out for some fresh air. Tick em off and do them every day. Do you get to work ok? Are you able to work ok? Is this just a problem at home?

For goodness sake man, you're young you have one life, don't waste it!!

If you need help, ask for it and don't wait any longer
____________________
'The core of a man's spirit comes from new experiences'
Suzuki SV650S (Clean); Yamaha XT250 Serow (Dirty)

[Ste]

[killa]

Sounds like you ended up in the position you are too early?
When you say your mum used to say grow up, do you mean because she changed your bedding and ironed your socks for you?
Maybe you just can't be arsed because it was done for you.

I dunno, personally children are a fucking nusance i imagine after sometime you'll learn to love it. They ruin and mess up the whole place and don't care. yuk. lol

You're not depressed you've got no goals.
People come over my place all the time, for example, i dont like my place looking dirty when they do. I also like looking after myself.

I HATE WASHING UP!
____________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[TUG]

[Chris750]

I'm no expert, but I would say you are suffering a mild form depression.
Depression is often caused by chemical in balance in the brain, so can be hard to sort out without seeking professional advice.

Its easy for people to tell you to pull yourself together or whatever, but unless they have been there they won't understand, its not as easy as that.

See your GP and talk it over. You need to get something sorted as you can't go on like this.

[Redoko]

[Alexio]

What you don't realise is how happy / satisfied / fulfilled it will actually make you if you start pulling your weight, and even if you did know it can be hard to use that as motivation alone. And the stupid thing is that often it's just a couple hours out of your day that you would enjoy if you got in to.

I'm your age but I live alone which makes it easier to justify being just as lazy as you are. When I do pull my weight though my life becomes 400% better and my home pleasant for friends to be in.

Really you just have to use some different perspective. For guys as a generalisation they will feel loved if someone offers them companionship (someone to be around, be theirs and confide in emotionally), sex, an environment where they feel cared for and enough space to let them still be manly with their own interests.

You know, what ever makes a person feel loved.

For a woman, well I was once told to think about it like this; if you just did a bit of cleaning and house work for her everyday, enough to show you care, the feeling it will give her emotionally is basically the equivalent of sex. And then more of said comparison will probably ensue.

I'm generalising massively but you're making the relationship lopsided. You showing that you care by just pulling your weight a little bit is probably up there on her list of what she wants from a relationship next to things like staying faithful (although she might not admit it, it's having a large emotional impact).

Sometimes I have to literally have a few shots of something and make myself half drunk because I finally bend my will enough to launch in to cleaning my house for a couple of hours, but in the end it's always worth it and enjoyable!

Just do it, it'll become an addictive habit faster than you think and the benefits will be felt immediately. I'm going to cry now because I am alone and don't even have the opportunity you seem to be wasting. Where's my whisky....
____________________
will never give up his CG. I look at my fuel gauge more as a progress bar than a fuel gauge.
G: With my GSXR I do often effectively use it as a scooter with a clutch in town.
ms51ves3: why does it need 500 miles? Are you teaching it how to be a piston?

[Flip]

[TUG]

[Alexio]

[Imonster]

Is it possible it's just the time of year? I'm not convinced by the whole S.A.D thing, but I do know that in the thirty years I've been on this planet I've grown to dread the winter, January and February in particular...I have no motivation to do anything at this time of year, it's not an affectation, and I'm fine for the rest of the year.

However if you've felt like this for a few months, then discount the above. Good luck!
____________________
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

[Robby]

You live with a woman. Why does she expect you to do the washing?

Shower yourself, that's a given, but the rest is up to her. Get a dishwasher if she keeps screaming.

[Hazylogic]

Take a leaf out of Ike's book and twat her with a shoe if she moans again.

[Acemastr]

that'll be depression, depression will strip you of all motivation to do anything, appearance... job...
____________________
2017 KTM 350 XC-F - 2014 Yamaha R6 - 2005 Yamaha YZ125
2016 Toyota Tacoma Limited

[msgander]

[wizzzard]

To my eternal regret I went through a similar phase about ten years ago, so pretty much your age, I had very little motivation and really didn't pull my weight around the house.

I realised pretty quickly what I was doing and the incredible strain it was putting my marriage through but it was always a case of tomorrow I'll change my ways and make a new start. Tomorrow never seemed to come and it went on for a few months like this until my wife finally had enough and went to stay with her mother until I bucked my ideas up.

Hetzer summed it up perfectly with this...

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

I only see this as a win win combination....Pots + ACDC at full blast = sex.

[edit] imagine if you redecorated

Pat
Hope you finger is out by now
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[wizzzard]

[colin1]

I can be a bit like this. Maybe its mild depression or something means that you arent motivated.

However, there is a cure. Coffee. I like to make it from proper ground coffee, so dont know if instant coffee works, but it probably does.

There is something you should do. Without coffee, you cant be arsed. With coffee, you feel like geting up and doing it, and dont stop until its done.

They have actually done studies on people, that have found that people who drink coffee every morning are less prone to depression. It was a study done with nurses.

I think I'll have some coffee now, if I can be motivated enough to get up and make it...
____________________
colin1 is officially faster than god

[Flip]

[colin1]

[Redoko]

[Alexio]