Electric anti-theft

[smegballs]

To ride a bike everyone must hold onto the grips right?

Last night I had a spiffing idea to stop scrotes riding....

Two metal studs are inserted through each handgrip so they will contact hands when riding. These two studs are connected to each side of a large cap in a black box somewhere....

Inside the black box is a inverter circuit followed by a nice high gain transformer, maybe 400 volts or so?

When system is armed, if said scrote places hands (hopefully ungloved) on the grips to ride it he will short the terminals and get a electric suprise!

[MarJay]

1.) its most definitely illegal to set traps for people

2.) You'll more than likely forget once and be killed

3.) its likely to fry the bikes electrics

4.) You'll never remove the stench of burnt flesh from your bike.
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British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F; Cheap project: CBR900RR FireBlade
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.

[Mellow Matt]

As much as I approve of the idea, it probably won't stop someone bunging it in a van
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1999 GSX-R 600, 1999 TL1000R

[smegballs]

[The Shaggy D.A.]

Why don't you go for the hypodermic in the seat or the piezo igniter in the fuel tank too, whilst you're at it.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Alexio]

That whole "it probably won't stop someone bunging it in a van" mentality just mentioned gave me an idea.

Why not buy a cheap non running van that is cheap to tax and left permanently parked outside your house that you can use as a secure "parking bay" for the bike? A little ramp and you've got plenty of room to set up as many death traps as you like inside (you could also do them on multiple charges for braking in to the van as well as trying to steal the bike)
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will never give up his CG. I look at my fuel gauge more as a progress bar than a fuel gauge.
G: With my GSXR I do often effectively use it as a scooter with a clutch in town.
ms51ves3: why does it need 500 miles? Are you teaching it how to be a piston?

[johnsmith222]

[Ste]

Someone will just steal the van with your bike in by putting it into a bigger van.

[Alexio]

[The Shaggy D.A.]

Hmmmm.... I wonder what the legality of keeping a horsebox on the street is, if you remove the wheels and saw off the towing hitch? It's got a ramp, and you could put a barrel of concrete in there to chain the bike to...

https://www.equilogical.co.uk/images/horsebox_01.jpg
____________________
Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Alexio]

As long as people do not complain I think it'll be fine. If people do complain then you'll have trouble. If the horse box is kept on your drive way though that would appear to be a perfect solution to having a safe place to put your bike. You could even use it to transport your bike when it's all broke!
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will never give up his CG. I look at my fuel gauge more as a progress bar than a fuel gauge.
G: With my GSXR I do often effectively use it as a scooter with a clutch in town.
ms51ves3: why does it need 500 miles? Are you teaching it how to be a piston?

[Ste]

[Dr. DaveJPS]

[Ste]

That sounds a very expensive way of storing a bike. If a new van counts as a cheap van then you can probably afford to rent or buy a garage to keep your bike in.

[Chris750]

Most theives will have gloves as a matter of course- will this protect them from getting shock- if so- I'd go hypodermics

[Dr. DaveJPS]

[27cows]

[LordShaftesbu...]

I can't believe I didn't think of the van idea before. I've been racking my brains trying to work out where to put one of these:

https://www.motosafe.co.uk/images/bikesafe_300.jpg

but wasn't getting anywhere (I assume "parking" one in the street would be a no-no?)

Would I be allowed to park a SORNed vehicle in the street?

[metalangel]

[LordShaftesbu...]

[LordShaftesbu...]

[Alexio]

£875, and at the end of it you can use or sell the van again
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will never give up his CG. I look at my fuel gauge more as a progress bar than a fuel gauge.
G: With my GSXR I do often effectively use it as a scooter with a clutch in town.
ms51ves3: why does it need 500 miles? Are you teaching it how to be a piston?

[LordShaftesbu...]

Might even come in handy when I move house (hopefully soon).

I'm definitely warming to this idea.

[Ste]

If the van is on the road, it has to be road worthy which means someone can very easily drive off with it compete with your bike in the back.

It's not a good idea.

[Alexio]