Inter-religion relationships

[simples]

Hello all,

I am posting this under an asumed name as it is a sensitive subject.

I have recently met a girl who i have become infatuated with, we are of a similar age and from speaking to her on the phone and a couple of meetings it is clear to us both there is a definate attraction between us.

This is not usually a cause for concern, however, the girl in question is muslim and i am a christian, now for me this is not a problem, although i am christian i am completely non practising. As for the girl, she is not a strict muslim but obviously there are certain rules within the muslim faith that forbid theses sorts of relations.

This is where the problems begin, i know that her family would find it extremely difficult if not impossible for her and i to be together, regardless of the way we feel about each other. They are not the strictest of muslims either, but as i said they have certain beliefs of the muslim faith that mst be adhered to.

Obviously her parents are completely oblivious to our meetings and conversations.

My question is this, does anyone have any experience of such relationships, can it work or is it doomed to failure, what advice can you give, how should i play this specific part of my life, i have wracked my brain and can't find the answers, any advice will be greatly received.

[Devils Advocate]

I`m not muslim or religious in any way shape or form, but what i can tell you is that mixed race relationships can be very difficult to maintain if the familys & friends on both sides are not open minded and accepting of a multi cultural society.

I hate to say this but you would be better off not getting involved with this girl.If the attraction is too strong, mutually, then you have 3 choices as far as i can see.
Let things happen naturally, fall for her, and then face the impossible odds at some stage in the future and prepare for some serious misery.

Get to know her better before you start anything physical or serious, if you go out on some dates etc you need to make a point of asking lots of questions about her family and friends to get some insider information.

Walk away



Act in haste, repent at leisure
Think about that ^^

[SlimRick]

A few years ago I was in a very similar situation - young non-believer getting involved with a non-practising Muslim lass. Her parents were pretty strict Muslims and would never have approved. We carried on secretly for a few months until her folks found out, and hit the roof! Not your normal pissed off parents, but pretty serious shit. Bare in mind, this was a very wealthy Iraqi family in London with some serious clout.
The girl was genuinely worried about going missing at the hands of her family, as this had happened to several of her friends.
To cut a long story short, we were given an ultimatum - get married or never see each other again...getting married involved me converting to Islam and jumping through some serious hoops to make it look acceptable to people outside the family.

In short - fucking forget it mate.

[Gawain]

Why not? In the end its between her and you. Fu*k anyone who has a problem with it. As your both lightweights (apparently) in the faith department its even less of an issue.

[UnknownStuntm...]

Don't forget that Turkish girl who was buried alive a few weeks ago for just 'talking to boys'....

[GhostRider]

The Devils pretty much said what I was going to say, all in all not worth it.

Have a friend who was going out with a muslim bengali girl. Family were not pleased, long story short they kicked her out and he spent a few nights with a weapon in every room waiting for the door to come off since her brother (a somebody in the police force) was also not best pleased with it and made numerous threats.

Honour killings do happen but I don't know whether it's just banded about more than it actually occurs, however, if the family find out it's more than likely to escalate to a point where you are going to have to battle to see her, or you might as well marry her because her family will disown her and she will be coming to live with you, which sounds a bit of a tall order for someone who's had a few nice phone calls and a couple of dates.

Move on mate, plenty more trout in the ocean, why invite what's more than likely going to turn into a giant headache into your life?

GhostRider
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[ms51ves3]

[CaNsA]

years ago when i was a young lad, back in the day of sixth form college, i met an asian bird who was muslim.

she was "banging hot" and we liked each other.

a week later her cousins found out and held a knife to my throat and told me to stay away.

hope this doesnt put you off sending that "when am i gonna get to tap that" txt

[Flip]

[Phil.]

What have you got to lose by giving it a shot?

If after a while you realise that she's the one but the religious side is still a big problem, become a Muslim, the worms wont mind what fairy tale you believe in.

Or if your non practising Christian side is uncomfortable with that, just be a Muslim till the day you die then repent and god wont mind. That is how it works right?

Anyway I wouldn't of thought God would mind if you fudged the rules for some minge. He apparently raped a married Jew! Kind of a shitty move by him not to give her dad the 50 Shekels of Silver though. But I suppose he wasn't a man until he became Jesus, so that's when he should of paid the Shekels...for raping his mother..

Damn, Nothing I've said is helpful. Sorry about that.

[Keir]

[Gawain]

Clealy not got any idea how far some families go to stop relationships like this. [/quote]

Actually Im close friends with a few muslim girls at uni. I just dont think religion is any better a reason for not dating than a psyco father/brother. If the families the honor killing type then not worth it, but I dont get that impression from the 1st post - more a general uncertainty.


I really don't think it's that simple. [/quote]
No, it probably isnt. BUT it is simple to weigh up pros and cons - the answer to 'will the family go crazy and start a holy war' isnt going to be answered on BCF or by generic experiences.

[Devils Advocate]

[Bubbs]

I don't have a whole lot of experience with this.

My thoughts were that if you got with a bird you could shag her etc, but it's only when marriage comes into the picture that problems start.

If her dad/brother/uncle/grandad asks you if your a Muslim then just say yup! I am a Muslim. Then happy days.
____________________
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

[Chris750]

My mate went out with a muslim girl for some years. She was due to have an aranged marraige but ran away before that could happen. A few months later she started seeing my mate and they eventually moved in together.

Her family found out she was living with my mate (I think it was forced out of a cousin of the girls who she had still been talking too).

Anyway a couple of weeks later the girl and my mate got a call from her cousin saying that a big group of the the male members of the family are going to come down and "extract her" back to the city she was from and back under control of her family.


Alot of friends were told about this and on the saterday in question there must of been 50 blokes sat in the house having a cup of tea waiting for them to turn up.
Cue the knock at the door and the five asian lads were invited in, offered a cup of tea, told that in no uncertain terms that they were taking her if she didn't want to go.
After they saw how many people they were up against, they politely left and never tried anything again.
Took years for alot of family members to talk to her again, she brought shame on the family according to them.

[Chris750]

[NickD]

You fancy an infidel, you fancy an infidel!

God hates you now!







.... Fuck it!

Life's too short to let anyone's imaginary friend stop you from pursuing happiness.
____________________
I was only doing what it said on my licence officer....
Tear along the dotted line!

[Hazylogic]

Have a look at Spike Milligan's 'paki paddy' Kevin O'Grady.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/images/library/comedies/180x200/c/curry_and_chips_kevin.jpg

Of course, don't do the irish stuff, that would be ridicularse.

[Alexio]

My advice is to keep her as a "potential". That means keep loosely in contact with her and state your intentions, that once she is more independent you would do anything for both of you consider a relationship together again.

That way there's no friend zone and everything is out in the open and still very possible. And you also have the advantage of seeing if she's still who you thought she would be in time from now without having to commit etc.
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will never give up his CG. I look at my fuel gauge more as a progress bar than a fuel gauge.
G: With my GSXR I do often effectively use it as a scooter with a clutch in town.
ms51ves3: why does it need 500 miles? Are you teaching it how to be a piston?

[Ste]

[Irn-Bru]

At first I thought it'd be a "She believes in God but I think he's a twat" sort of thing, but a Muslim... that's a different story. Best to forget about her quickly
____________________
KTM 990 SMT & Suzuki DR-Z 400 SM

[smegballs]

Although I have no first hand experience with this sort of thing I believe it falls under the category of "it shouldn't matter, but does".

However ridiculously silly it seems that religions make any difference to who you can or cannot go out with, there are people who do take it seriously and therein lies the problem.

It is sad, and quite unfair too, to say that the best course of action would be to leave it and walk away but it probably is the route with less hassle .

[Fortuna]

[Flip]

[simples]

Firstly thanks for the replies, secondly the girl in question is not like a sari wearing muslim, she is iranian and yes she is banging hot!!!

After reading the posted replies and speaking to her about our situation, i'm still no closer to getting sorted, maybe if i could just tap here a couple of times it would help my decision....

And i'm loving the single muslim dating site ad on the bottom of the page................cheers.