Preposterous Motorbike Lies

[Quickly]

There have been a few ridiculous porkies told on this forum over easter, so in the spirit of joining in with good fun I thought I'd start a dedicated thread.

To kick things off, I first got my knee down on a straight road leaning into a side wind being kicked up by Air Force One. And when I got my first pair of leathers, I skinned the cow myself.
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...

[P.]

i posted in an exciting topic on BCF...

[neatbik]

I rode bitch today with Chuck Norris on his '98 R1 and when we got back home it was actually earlier than when we had left.

[swiftb]

Christ, I thought the overtaking thread I just read was 'unneccesary use of a keyboard' then I come in here.......

[N cee thirty]

i can power wheely my cg at 60 in 3rd,no joke.
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'00 Aprilia RS50 > '92 Honda CG > '99 Yamaha Fazer > '91 Yamaha RXS > '79 Suzuki X5 > 01' Honda Cg > 07' Honda Cg > 82' Kawasaki Z200 > suzuki gsxr 400 gk73a > honda vfr 400 NC30 Mod 2 Passed 09/06/2011

Jewlio Iglesias wrote: I actually did vote BNP once

[lozzypop1]

This thread is REALLY REALLY interesting.
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Funny, I used to hate being spanked as a child!
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.

[Alexio]

[BenR]

My liitle RG does 115mph certified by GPS.... straight up honest!
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Current bikes: suzuki RG125UN wolf. Yamaha MT-07

[MaybeGuy]

i can clutch up an R6 in 3rd gear?

i can go around a corner with my hand on the floor?

i've been caught by police twice doing wheelies and got away with 0 points and a £0 fine?

i flipped my gsxr doing a wheelie with loads of witnesses, mashed myself, my bike and my girlfriend and got away with it?
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[cyberglass]

i outran 2 gixer 1000s round the twisties on my cb250 by outbraking them into the corners. Not through choice its just the cbs got no brakes
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DL650 Vstrom 2004
DRZ400S 2003
Yamaha R1 2005

[Alexio]

[dodger]

I was on my lunch break the other day and got speaking to a group of traffic cops who were at some sort of conference. The crap they were coming out with was quite unbelievable. So it's not just 'ped bois' and keyboard warriors...
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My Bikes: Piaggio NRG| Aprilia RS 125| Suzuki GSX-R 600|Yamaha Fazer Ducati 848
Europe 2008

[Hetzer]

Where's Acebiker (or whatever his name was), this thread is right up his street.
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[Faldo]

Take your pick.

[Frost]

I have a mate who insists that he got his elbow down on his 120mph rs125 in a town center and outran the police on it.

Also had a guy outside the pub once tell me he had an R7 on the road.

Another guy i met had a 165mph cbr400. He couldn't see a problem with that and insisted that the 600's and 1000's were faster claiming 220mph for a cbr1000.

[cyberglass]

[TheDonUK]

The SV650 that does 150mph from that ebay tossers thread of fail...
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[Current Bikes - GSXR-750 K5 & C90-97 ] [Previous Bikes: Runner 125, YBR 125, GS500, Bandit 600, Hornet 600, ZX6R-99, C90-99, R1-99, XT600E-04, GSXR-750 K4, CRF250L '16]

[The Shaggy D.A.]

I got 130mpg just by adding a can of Irn Bru when I filled up.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[chris-red]

Posting this cause i'm laid up at the moment and fuck-all to do

So there I was last Sunday (had just treated the RVF to a full service and a new set of BT90’s), fucking nailing it down through the village, past the church, popped the front at about 120 when the fucking RVF decides to shit its guts down the road at 14 k rpm.

Lightening fast I whip the clutch and land her but too late the fucking chain had snapped and locked the back wheel ( fucking hate when that happens) .

Anyway kept her upright but with a sharp right coming up by the local pub decided the best thing to do was to go for damage control and throw her down the tarmac at about 80mph (normally I’d take it knee-down, scrapping the pegs.) Bike slams into the pub but luckily (or more likely due to my natural born talent) I missed it by a couple of inches and slid into the pub car-park where I had a good 30 ft run-off through the gravel before I hit a stone wall

Was banged up pretty bad but picked myself up, was ok apart from breaking a couple of ribs, fingers, sprained wrist and my head was spinning, (turns out later, l had ‘traumatic brain injury” ) but couldn’t feel a thing as I was buzzin on adrenalin.

Checked the bike, FFS, apart from the engine blow-out its obvious it’s a grade fuckin A write-off as it’s a mangled mess pissing fluids all over the place.
Lucky it didn’t hit the old geezers having a pint few feet away as the old cunts would have been brown bread or tried to hit me with a claim, (and i don't have fuck all insurance).

Called a mate, fucked the bike in the back of the van down to the local A&E to get patched up and an overnight stay.
Fucking well pissed off , I am, I’m down to just one bike now as I totaled the Blade 6 months back, as well as another another Arai RX7 fucked (that’s the 3th one in the last year).
Begining to wonder about the reliability of these hondas Was thinking about getting a ZX10 next, heard they’re pretty bullet proof.

End of the day, I suppose it just reinforces the fact of what a fucking talented operator I am as I’m sure it would have been a lot worse for a lesser rider
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Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
WANTED:- Fujinon (Fuji) M42 (Screw on) lenses, let me know if you have anything.

[Dom]

[MaybeGuy]