nonsense poems

[pepperami]

me and my daughter were having a good laugh the other day about nonsense poems/ditties we have known ....... for example

i went to the pictures tomorrow i did`nt, and took a front seat at the back.
i fell from the pits to the gallery and broke a front bone in my back.
a lady gave some biscuits so i ate them and then i gave her them back.

or

theres a fathers meeting on tuesday, which is thursday next, admission is free so pay at the door, take a seat and sit on the floor.

or

the band struck and did`nt play so i sat down and walked away.

or

one fine day in the middle of the night, two dead men got up to fight, back to back they faced each other then drew thier swords and shot each other.

do you lot know any more?
____________________
I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[NickD]

You and your daughter... or you and your carer?
____________________
I was only doing what it said on my licence officer....
Tear along the dotted line!

[The Artist]

I went on Bcf because I was bored and found a strange thread...


...dangling from my T shirt. I yanked it and it came out.


amidoinitrite?

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

'Shit' by Howling Terror formally known as Immensely Large Bits

I opened it.
I read it.
It was shit.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[V2]

There once was a man called Dan Ducket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it,
He said with a grin,
Wiping spunk off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt then i'd fuck it.

[The Artist]

[mad4it028]

one fine day in the middle of the night
2 dead men got up to fight
back to back they faced each other
drew there swords and shot each other

blind man there to see fair play
dumb man there to shout horray
2 crippled men to carry them away
____________________
always looking to buy bikes crashed ,unfinished projects,none runners pm me
currently riding kawasaki z1000 only bike ive ever loved

[pepperami]

[Mez]

I read Synopsis of The Great Welsh Novel at college today as part of my coursework. On first reading it seems a bit mad but you can make sense of it with a slower read-through (at least, as much as Webb intended).


Dai K lives at the end of a valley. One is not quite sure
Whether it has been drowned or not. His Mam
Loves him too much and his Dada drinks.
As for his girlfriend Blodwen, she's pregnant. So
Are all the other girls in the village-there's been a Revival.
After a performance of Elijah, the mad preacher
Davies the Doom has burnt the chapel down.
One Saturday night after a dance at the Corn Club,
With the Free Wales Army up to no goood in the back lanes,
A stranger comes to the village; he is, of course,
God, the well known television personality. He succeeds
In confusing the issue, whatever it is, and departs
On the last train before the line is closed.
The colliery blows up, there is a financial scandal
Involving all the most respected citizens; the choir
Wins at the National. It is all seen, naturally,
Through the eyes of a sensitive boy who never grows up.
The men emigrate to America, Cardiff and the moon.
The girls find rich and foolish English husbands. Only daft Ianto
Is left to recite the Complete Works of Sir Lewis Morris
To puzzled sheep, before throwing himself over
The edge of the abandoned quarry. One is not quite sure
Whether it is fiction or not.

-- Harri Webb
____________________
My deviantArt gallery - My Youtube profile
Honda CG125 -> Baotian BT49 -> AJS JS125 -> Honda CG125-> Kawasaki ZL400 -> Kawasaki GPZ500

[GhostRider]

Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away
When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door
Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away
"Antigonish" (1899)

GhostRider
____________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[MarJay]

[Vin]

This is my fave..

On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
And the Monkeys all say Boo!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang!
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So it's Ning Nang Nong!
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning!
Trees go Ping!
Nong Ning Nang!
The mice go Clang!

What a noisy place to belong,
Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!

Spike Milligan in Silly verse for kids, 1968

[PsychoHippy]

[pepperami]

Quality thanks peeps
____________________
I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[Clanger]

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?

by Spike Milligan
.................................

Josie's Knickers

Josie's knickers are full of piss
I wouldn't normally tell you this
But the stain is spreading large and wide
And I'm not convinced it will stay inside.

Oops, now it's there for all to see
Slowly seeping towards her knee
Trickling downwards more and more
I fear it's almost reached the floor

All muscle control is now long gone
And the gushing flow goes on and on
The pool has now become a lake
Josie STOP for goodness sake!

Josie's face is as red as blood
Things haven't gone quite how they should
But the crisis point is safely past
And clean dry pants are in place at last.

by Andy Curtis

....................................................................

Mugwump, chubby, dunk and whoa,
Swizzle, doom and snoop,
Flummox, lilt and afterglow,
Gruff, bamboozle, whoop
And nincompoop.

Wallow, jungle, lumber, sigh,
Ooze and zodiac,
Innuendo, lullabye,
Ramp and mope and quack
And paddywhack.

Moony, undone, lush and bole,
Inkling, tusk, guffaw,
Waspish, croon and cubbyhole,
Fern, fawn, dumbledor
And many more...

................................................

Quick! Quick! The cat's been sick.
Where? Where? Under the chair.
Hasten! Hasten! Fetch the basin.
Alas! Alas! It is too late, The carpet's in an awful state.
No! No! It's all in vain, For she has licked it up again.
____________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[fresian]

I sent my legs out for a walk
to keep them strong and fit.
They would not go without me
so I made the bastards sit.

[JokerMouse]

I never saw a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But I can tell you anyhow
I'd rather see than be one!