My little story

[The Artist]

A mate who has since moved to Australia found this in his inbox today. It is a story me and him wrote when we were 11 or 12.

Enjoy



The Poshos!!!



Herbert and Guthbert were trotting to the posh supermarket on their fine horses. The streets were fine and the dog fouls were few. The air was sweet smelling and the flowers were bright coloured. Herbert suddenly cried out, “Oh, there seems to be an unsavoury smell coming from the horses bottom!”

“Yes, I think he just layed a rather valgour foul on your head” said Guthbert rather poshly.

Never the less, Herbert got his team of finest butlers to clear the mess away and shoot the horse. They then brought him a new horse and the two companions trotted on, with nothing to bother them, but little did they know that there was an evil plot to kill them, led by no other than lord of all dog mucks.

After shopping and spending £5643684.99 they went home to lord manor house and had a posh cup of tea.

Their house was rather splendid and in good conditions and their were no dog mucks to be seen, partly due to the fact that any dogs seen on their land must be shot.

They slept well that night and when they got up they decided to blow up Italy because animals there have rabies, and they wanted a new swimming pool. As their henchman loaded the rockets, a dog muck flew through the window, killing several butlers. Suddenly and evil laugh could be heard. It was Lord of all dog mucks! Guthbert suddenly soiled his pants and ran off,

Returning with a dog muck bag. He threw the dog muck bag at Lord of all dog mucks. Lord of all dog mucks screamed and pulled of the bag only laughing. He jumped on Herbert, pulled down his pants, and layed a foul on his head. He then ran away.

In his anger, Herbert shot a cow and fouled up his shoe by stepping on a dog muck.

“Something has to be done,” exclaimed Herbert “if we don’t do anything he might foul up our house, filling our nostrils with unsavoury smells. And then I would have to have to buy Buckingham palace as my new house, which is not as posh as this manor.”

“We could buy the lord archbishop of Canterbury’s house?” said Guthbert rather putrefied, he then shot a dog.



The duo decided to go out dog hunting, so they grabbed their 12 inch knives and went outside. They stabbed a dog brutally and chopped of its head on the way to the park. At the park a little boy was playing with his dog, he seemed to love his dog very much and the bond between them was obviously very strong. Nevertheless Herbert stabbed the dog brutally and shot the boy, who was a commoner and didn’t make much difference in Herbert’s life.

When they had got home that evening they had killed a total of 334 dogs and blown up the local dog rescue centre and the local pound. They were very satisfied that night until and giant dog muck flew through the window killing 25 henchman. It was once again, Lord of all dog mucks! They were all scared as the lord of all dog mucks was armed with at least 2,000,000 dog mucks with were loaded into a full automatic and could be fired at a rate of 30,000 rounds per second.
Guthbert jumped up onto a dog muck and fouled up his face as it splashed every where including Herbert who was petrified ran away and soiled his face in a foul fashion. Guthbert saw this and forgot about of lord of all dog mucks, who suddenly pulled out a dog muck grenade launcher. “Ahh” shouted Guthbert who was diving for cover as a dog muck exploded near by. The lord of all dog mucks removed his foul backside from the house and a posh dog muck gun destroyed all the dog mucks within 50 miles of them. They carried on sleeping until they heard a woof from a dog. They went out and found a dog fouling up there garden. “oh dear” said Herbert we need to exterminate it as it is fouling up posh land” oh no! They got onto there robotic horses as they had realised that horses also made fouls. Then they went to poshmarket to but a horse exterminator so they could kill all horses but they were all sold out so they ordered one and 80000000000000000000000 butlers helped and made it in 5 minutes.
The butlers had forgotten to take the artificial foul box out. So Herbert and Guthbert were riding round swearing at people that looked at them when the foul box blew up. The foul contents splashed everywhere and everyone within 2000000miles got covered in poooo. Then he shot a horse because it had 1 molecule of foul on it. The posho duo left for the manor which had been built again out of marble and placed on the top of Buckingham palace and their holiday home was now the white house. They didn’t like that so they sold it for 10000000000000000000 million pounds on the posho auction where three people went rather than two (Herbert and guthbert) the new person was a monkey man that ate dog foul all the time. He also smelled strongly of the odour of foul and nobody liked him. They saw him and then they brutally fouled on his head. He ate this and enjoyed it so they shot him. A boy randomly came called nathanael they shot him as well because they didn’t like that name. Then they fouled on his own foul. They went out walking which they had never done before because they usually they went on a horse. They went outside and saw a foul they shot at it but he flies still came. They got an automatic and shot all the flies. Then a dog came which they sprayed with foul then they shot it.
Then some idiot offered them a free sample of foul detergent but they threw it at the man and he melted then they shot at the liquid on the floor. They were out of bullets so they ordered the butlers to get some more. Then they fouled on his head. Another random girl came along called virchal tour, they didn’t like that name so they shot at it but they missed and hit a butcher that was eating foul off the pavement. Then someone dropped a bomb on them but they caught it then threw it back up at the plane. Meanwhile the boy was rolling a fag when Guthbert kicked his fag out of his hand and said that they reminded him of foul. The boy also reminded him of foul so they shot him to. The poshos then went to a posh restaurant but decided MacDonald’s was even posher. Then a random foul came flying in the air it landed on the pavement. “ahhhhh” shouted Herbert and then the lord of all dog mucks came flying on a jetpack when it ran out of dog muck and crashed. This was a sign that there dog muck exterminator is working. Then they saw a dog and shot it. Then a man came and they shot him to because Guthbert decided he wouldn’t like him if he met him.
Then a person called nacho came along. The smell of him reminded them of foul so they chucked an a-bomb at him. They put a posh shield in front of them which was resistant to dog muck unlike most shields that you could buy from Tesco. When they got home, guthbert decided to go holiday. They decided to go posholand were there was no rabies or dogs. They went on there posho aeroplane which had the poshest people on it. They were half way there when there was a thud. The lord of all dog mucks was flying with a jetpack on and a dog muck gun in his hand. They posho plane had automatic defences and it exterminated all rabies from the surrounding area and all the dog muck in lord of all dog mucks gun then a dog muck flew in the window and fouled up the floor with dog muck. “Oh there seems to be an unsavoury smell coming from the floor” said Herbert. Then the butlers got scared, soiled themselves then ran off. The posho plane was filling with foul smells and Herbert and guthbert jumped out the window to save themselves. Meanwhile the plane blew up. They had parachutes and they floated down. Suddenly guthbert got caught on a tree and died in 1 second because of the shock. Guthbert happened to have on him a cloning device which was to activate itself if the person wearing it should die. Guthbert was alive again but was still 90000000feet up in the air because he had landed on the tallest tree in the world. The lord of all dog mucks had succeeded in fouling there holiday but they were back for revenge.
They teleported back to there manor and slept all night. The next day Herbert decided to buy Chelsea, Manchester untied, arsenal and a few other teams including England. He then realised that dogs went with police to football matches so he sold them to a homeless boy on the street who they got their butlers to thourouly rinse so he didn’t smell of foul. The next day Guthbert decided to blow up china because they had a disease called bird flu which they thought was something to do with dogs. Then they saw a boy called josh frecknall, he reminded them of dogs so they drowned him in his own foul.

[imanupstart]

https://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/imanupstart/b9b2o5.gif

[Flip]

Too many words. I just cba.

[Carl_steveo]

WTF mate issues much?

Cool read though.
____________________
Current: Honda Nsr 125
Live: Sunderland
Luke "cant be arsed to read your post, but suck my balls anyway."

[m0l0t0v]

[mooserx]

Which one are you then ally, guthbert or herbert???? Seriously though, I wish i could have more than 3 lines in my sig. I creased up.

[The Artist]

I reckon I was stoned at the time of writing.

[Resurrection]

[The Artist]