Dating advice please?

[ducat1]

Hi every one - new to the forum but loving the advice thats being dished out.

My problem: - I'm 33 and was married for 9 years (straight out of uni) have now been separated and now divorced for 8 months. Time to get back into the saddle, so have been on a few dates (mainly down to internet dating) but can't seem to convert any dates into a more traditional girlfriend.

I'm not a complete swamp-donkey, and can string the odd sentence together

I'm putting my heart in your hands - any help would be much appreciated.

Ducat1

[Hetzer]

Just be yourself until you meet a bird you like and she likes you too. Let nature take its course.

Or be a fake, con somebody and then wonder why it falls apart.
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[Flip]

Don't look for love mate. Just go shaggin' until you meet someone to settle down with.

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Like me Granny used to say "If all else fails, shag yer mum"
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[Kwaks]

[SlimRick]

Prostitutes - so much cheaper and less hassle in the long run. You can change them regularly when you get bored and they won't get all upset and tearful, and if you don't want your perverted little secrets becoming public I believe you're allowed to kill them

[J0Al1]

8 months is not that long, chill and give it some time.

My gaps between partners have been:
12 months
12 months
12 months
18 months

I mostly enjoyed being single and having my own space. Even with these 'time out' periods I had friends say, 'you don't need a bloke have some time alone', which was bit annoying cos I more than felt like I had!

Internet dating is not my cuppa, too much like selling yourself. I worried about what the person might think of me (which is silly cos upon meeting 4 people they all asked me out again ). I also found it a bit repetative and routine, asking same old questions with no idea about the persons expression!

Anyway, feel lucky that your in a position to 'be looking forward to' meeting someone lovely. So many people are in 'pants' relationships that I'd far from want

[MonkeyKnuckle]

Which dating sites are you using?

I've tried using a couple (free ones). Get a few e-mails etc. but never actually met anyone in the flesh.
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2000 Honda CBR600F - Sold! 2003 Honda CBR600RR - Current!

[hmmmnz]

no hurry mate,
focus on other things,
girls come and go, whether you are actively seeking them or not
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[pa_broon74]

Dates don't work.

Socialise instead. The pressure while on a date is self-defeating, the entire process isn't conducive to lengthy positive relations. However, joining social groups either through work or online (biking groups maybe or any hobby you might have, Salsa dancing maybe? I don't know...)

Anyway, the point is, common ground is pre-established. There is no pressure because you're not expressly looking for a shag, ummm, I mean significant other; you're just out socialising with an open mind.

Oh aye, gyms don't work for this. People are either too busy preening or to busy being self-conscious. I'm told looking confused at food products in supermarket aisles later in the evening can be a good opener, if you have a small child with you, its even better.

If not that then a good dose of rohypnol and hope they're forgiving.


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Didn't catch anything.

[Bubbs]

[J0Al1]

[pa_broon74]

[warped one]

I've done abit of that internet dating stuff (well messaged 2girls).

The first one just turned into sex.
The second we have become friends and it is through her, that I met my current GF which was at a Burlesque night, because both our sets of friends had stood us up and we were billy.

It really does amaze me how little it can take to get a girl talking. The first think I said was "Excuse me love. Can you do my tie? I'm shit at these bloody things." After that we spent the whole night together.

One thing i've learnt this year though is even if they don't text back the next day, give them another a few days or a week later. They could actually be busy.

On the mindfuck front. The best one I ever got was off my ex last year. I knew she was fucking with me but didn't see it for months. Then when I realised I thought about what I was going to say to her and went round. I told her that she really wasn't my type any more. She started mouthing off at me about how she didn't want me in her bed. I just stood up, said "Glad we both agree." And walked out. By the time I had my lid and gloves on she was dressed and outside begging me not to go because she loved me and all that shyte.

I just said "bye" and rode off. I felt so relieved riding home that i'd finally done it. Over the next few weeks I got repeated texts of how she loved me still and then some of how she hated me.

I can happily see her in the street, and smile politely, where as she either runs away like a child or stares at the floor, even more fun when i'm at the pub with the GF and she turns up with her mates, see's the bike and tries to persuade them to go somewhere else.
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

[Ed Case]

I was on my own for six years after my first marriage to a trollop went tits-up thank goodness, I'll buy the bloke that took her on a beer any day (everyday if it comes to that). Nothing in this world is as lonely as a marriage that doesn't work. Been re-married for fifteen years now to a woman I never expected to meet, it's great !. Just wait Warped One, she'll come along when you least expect it and I doubt she'll be anything like what you anticipate.
Best of luck, your futures ahead of you and it'll be good, you wait and see.

[Jodie]

[Ed Case]

[ducat1]

[Ol]

[warped one]

Well the now ex (split tonight) was actually busy.

She was in Estonia visiting her family.
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

[Carl_steveo]

I never think this online stuff is worth it.

I much prefer to just be single and carry on as normal. You might meet a few women downt he local pub every now and again and your having a laugh. One will come along eventually thats worth holding onto a bit longer than the previous ones. If it becomes a more regular girlfriend/boyfriend thing then thats good.

I'm in a relationship now that I stumbled into. I was in a nightclub with the lads having a laugh. I spotted her and just walked upto her and grabbed her boobs while someone was taking her photo. It could have gone either of two ways. One: she will laugh and be like wtf and it gets you talking. Two: your up in court for sexual harrasment.........again.

I wouldn't specifically go out looking I would let it find you its more fun that way.
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[Codemonkey]

[J0Al1]

/\ - Really nice to hear


I'm not a fan of going out and meeting someone in a bar/club drunk these days. That's how it always was on the past, alcohol fuelled.I think being sober when you first meet someone is a good thing, even if it makes it more of a challenge.

[Rogerborg]

Hey, Sir Spamalot, do you reckon he hasn't dipped his wick yet?
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