Good text joke.

[elgard]

Got a text from my mate at work i'd like to share.

Found a DVD the other day entitled 'Bald and barely legal'.
Chuffed to bits i rushed home put the disc in and sat there with my cock in my hand ready to bash one out....
Turns out it was a ministry of transport video on tyre tread depths.


I thought it was funny any way.

[T1z3R]

no its not.
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duck my sick!

[Scooty]

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Current Bike: 2018 Honda CRF250L
Ex-Bikes: 2002 Honda CG125, 1998 Honda VFR800, 2011 Honda CBR600F, 2013 Triumph Sprint GT SE, 2015 Kawasaki ZX10R

[Dazbo666]

Curiously strange? Yes
Funny? erm, No
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1st bike (Sept'06 - May'10) : 1991 GPZ500S / Current bike (since Nov 2009) : 2003 Suzuki Bandit 600N
Word of the day : DILLIGAF

[Frost]

A man comes home from work and says to his wife: "Darling i've got something to tell you and i'm afraid it's not going to be easy to say... Ken Dodd's dad's dogs dead."

[carlosthejack...]

You heard about Georgy Michael continuing to write songs while he's banged up? His first one's about his skinhead cellmate. It's called "Hairless Fister"....
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Responsibility. It's a difficult reality for some. I'm running the 2014 Sheffield Half Marathon on behalf of Bluebell Wood Childrens Hospice. Please sponsor me, even if it's just a quid.
DonnyBrago: "I think you may be confusing rain and napalm..." Paulington: "It's not what you ride, it's how you ride it."
Current rides: '05 VFR800 VTEC, '57 Mondeo 1.8 TDCi #58LEGEND

[tatters]

George Michael has been forced to give hand jobs to his fellow in-mates before having to make hot chocolate for them. He is currently working on a new single about his time inside called 'Wank me off before your cocoa'
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Past:NRG50,AF1125(x2),NSR125RR,ZZR250,CX500,VFR400,KR1S,ZZR600(x2),CB400N,YZF1000(x2),KH125,Z200,FX400R,CBR954RR(x2)GPZ500S,GT550,VFR750F(x2),RD350N,XR650R,CBR600F,CB250,KDX250,YZF750R,CRM250,400EXC,KLR650,TTR600RE,DR350S,R100GSPD,RGV250,VMAX1200,DL650,KZ750 Present:G650XC,C12,CRF450X,1190ADV

[Frost]

Galileo did not invent the telescope, but he was the first to turn it skyward and make astronomical observations with it. Before that—like all new technologies—it was mostly used for porn.

[tatters]

David Dickinson is teaming up with Wanye Rooney in a new TV show in which he takes the people around the streets at night looking for cheap prosititutes,


"Bargain cunt" starts next friday at 7PM on BBC2
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Past:NRG50,AF1125(x2),NSR125RR,ZZR250,CX500,VFR400,KR1S,ZZR600(x2),CB400N,YZF1000(x2),KH125,Z200,FX400R,CBR954RR(x2)GPZ500S,GT550,VFR750F(x2),RD350N,XR650R,CBR600F,CB250,KDX250,YZF750R,CRM250,400EXC,KLR650,TTR600RE,DR350S,R100GSPD,RGV250,VMAX1200,DL650,KZ750 Present:G650XC,C12,CRF450X,1190ADV

[Slacker24seve...]

Have you lot just spent the day on Sickipedia?

....if so, well done
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Triumph Daytona 675 track bike + girlfriend's Honda Hornet 600
Selling a hack/winter bike for less than a grand? PM me.
Banger rallies are ace

[Fisty]

I took a Biology exam yesterday, one of the questions was "what would you find inside a cell?"

Apparently Scousers and Pikeys inst the correct answer.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[Paxovasa]

A text of a mate.

"I downloaded the Koran last night, if you want I'll burn you a copy".
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Suzuki GSF600 K3 (in the fastest colour, black).

[Carvel]

Why did the pervert cross the road?


Because he had his cock crammed up a chickin
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2002 Aprilia RSV1000R, Cbr600Fs, Mk1 B12, Vfr400 NC30...

Matt B: I can deal with crushed nuts to beat Ollie.

[Misc]

BBC News: Pope Touches Down in the UK


Down, age 6, was not available for comment after the incident.

[Moonie]

BBC News: Two pedestrians die in collision.

Fuck, how fast must they have been walking?




Pope Benedict today compared Atheists to Nazis.

How would he know, he's never been an Atheist?
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Don't practice it until you get it right, practice it until you don't get it wrong.
Presenting the one and only Chinkmobile

[Mr.Everready]

I was sat opposite an Indian lady today on the train, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead until I saw the red dot on her forehead and realised that she was just on standby.
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the undemocratically unelected mod of the Scottish section

[Damon]

After the 1st hour in prison George Micheal had a chocolate bar shoved up his ass by inmates. Prision officers said it was just a careless wispa.