Cheer me up BCF, joke thread!

[Fisty]

After quite a shitty week of redundancy, dying family members, attempted theft of my bike and gran being diagnosed with cancer I need cheering up.

Tell me a joke, I dont care how sexist racist or rude they are, just go for it!


Tom
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[Ariel Badger]

Chapayev, Petka and Anka, in hiding from the Tzarists, are plastoon-style crawling across a field, first Anka, then Petka and Chapayev last. Petka says to Anka, "Anka, you lied about your proletarian descent! Your mother must have been a ballerina -- your legs are so fine!" Chapayev responds, "And your father, Petka, must have been a plowman: you are leaving such a deep furrow!"
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[chillyman0]

whats the difference between gingers and E4?












...Friends
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preivious : 2007 Skyjet 125 (died), 1991 gsf400 (problems, rotting in garden)
1996 gsf600n (sold)
current : 1996 VFR750 for sale, PM for info! 2000 E1 ZX-9r

[Tonka]

Feeling miserable?







Go cuddle your Pork Chop








https://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn82/mr_fisty/P1020584.jpg




His ickle face always makes me laugh!!
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'The core of a man's spirit comes from new experiences'
Suzuki SV650S (Clean); Yamaha XT250 Serow (Dirty)

[Ariel Badger]

He has got boogies.
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[-LG-]

[Rob W]

I saw CountDown yesterday.

He's Dracula's spastic brother.
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'90 TS50 > '04 Senda 125 > '91 ZXR400 > '90 CB-1 > '04 GSX-R1000 > '96 Bandit 600 > '89 ZXR750 H1 > '96 GSX-R750 SRAD > '98 RR-W Fireblade > '98 T595 Daytona > '03 Hornet 900 > '04 Fireblade > '16 GSX-S1000F (x2) > '23 XSR900

[Tonka]

[Rob W]

I hate how famous those Chilean miners have become now. I preferred it when they were a bit more, you know, underground.
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'90 TS50 > '04 Senda 125 > '91 ZXR400 > '90 CB-1 > '04 GSX-R1000 > '96 Bandit 600 > '89 ZXR750 H1 > '96 GSX-R750 SRAD > '98 RR-W Fireblade > '98 T595 Daytona > '03 Hornet 900 > '04 Fireblade > '16 GSX-S1000F (x2) > '23 XSR900

[MonkeyKnuckle]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?




Because it was dead.





Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?





It was stapled to the first.
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MKGaming.com
2000 Honda CBR600F - Sold! 2003 Honda CBR600RR - Current!

[gary.glitter]

Did you hear I got arrested a few weeks ago while trying to flee the country?

Apparently it was'nt those type of miners trapped in a hole in Chile
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do you wanna be in my gang?

[silky666]

[DrDonnyBrago]

This is Popcorn, my GF's fat hamster. I have been feeding her sunflower seeds and cashews, she has put on a lot of weight recently.

I find poking her cheers me up:

Popcorn (Biscuit is in the Sand bathing hut)

https://i1015.photobucket.com/albums/af271/DonnyBrago/DSC06240.jpg

https://i1015.photobucket.com/albums/af271/DonnyBrago/DSC06241.jpg

[Tonka]

[DrDonnyBrago]

[silky666]

If we are posting pics of pets to make him feel happier ... then Sidney J Cat would like to say "harrrooow" (he calls like he is saying 'hello')

https://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t69/silky666/Family/sidneyjuly2010.jpg
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There's nothing that shouts "Poor Workmanship" more than wrinkles in the Gaffa tape.

Gaffa tape is like "the force" - it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

[Raffles]

I think my wife has learning difficulties.

No matter how many times I hit her, she never learns.
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[Jodie]

What's red & white and sits in a tree?


A sanitary owl


I know, I know most women are terrible at jokes, I only know about 3 but I thought I'd make an effort as you've had such a bad week.

Your dog is gorg btw

[Nai]

Yay doggies! That doggy is AWESOME! My 3 doggies! I hope the happiness of a retriever rubs off and makes you happy!

[The Wobbly Orange]

I just realised my two favourite hobbies are soooo similar. Y'know fishing and rape. you start sitting in a secluded are followed by a bit of a struggle and afterwards you are always left with the same dilemma.

Kill it or let it go?
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People tell me I am lovely. How wrong they are!

[P.addy]

Ferret win ^^^^^

I has 2 ferrets

[tvchimp]

[Scooty]

What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A rape victim
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Current Bike: 2018 Honda CRF250L
Ex-Bikes: 2002 Honda CG125, 1998 Honda VFR800, 2011 Honda CBR600F, 2013 Triumph Sprint GT SE, 2015 Kawasaki ZX10R

[Flip]

https://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080306014536/uncyclopedia/images/7/7b/Smoking_monkey.jpg

Always cheers me up.

[Flip]

What's black and blue and afraid of the dark?

The little girl in my shed.