Fubby Chucker

[Skudd]

I know someone, a mate, lets call him....... Skubb. Well Skubb is a fubby chucker at the moment, didn't used to be, use to play water polo, basketball, swam competitively for years. Anyway, to cut a long story short Skubb wants to lose some weight as his bike gear isn't as loose as it used to be.
Now Skubb loves his food, when I say love I mean he LOVES his food, so cutting down is going to be very hard thing to do, Skubb also doesn't have a lot of time to exercise these days either. So what are the ways Skubb can get rid of the chunky monkey size?
Now Skubb's heart is sound, he has muscle......somewhere.... well he must have to lump all that chubs around all day. His cardio isn't as good as it used to be, so that needs work.
Skubb did do the Atkins diet a few years ago, worked very well for him but not the bitch of a whore and so called wife..... the slut. So he came off it and put twice the amount lost back on.
Any ideas, Skubb hasn't ruled out the bacon slicer yet either.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[panrider_uk]

Effortless

Mark
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Current bikes: Honda ST1100 Pan European. Moto Guzzi V85 TT Travel

[Fisty]

Im sorry I cant help with the diet advice except eat less and excercise more.

Oh and I have found you a new avatar.

https://www.employmentcrossroads.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/beefcake-cartman.bmp
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[cornish]

awwww, i feel for skubb!

i joined the gym after gaining enough weight to look like Jupiter whilst pregnant. Levelled with the personal trainer and said not interested in being healthy/living longer/entering a marathon etc just want to be thin again.

She told me that if you do a cardio workout for 45 minutes 3-4 times a week you will get most results for least effort. After 45 minutes you have reached maximum fat-burn apparently and are just exercising to get fit (why?????)!

If you do this 3 times a week you're metabolism will be higher obviously on the days you are gyming it, but it is also enough to maintain the higher rate on the days you are not gyming it.

Food was the same, i'm too old to do the diet-coke-diet etc like i used to so levelled with her about this too.

Answer was eat backwards. Eat a HUGE breakfast, cram in as much as you can, lots of carbs etc. Lunch, medium sized, some carbs but also good amount of protein. Tea, as tiny as you can stand BUT, no carbs at all. No carbs after midday and no food at all after 6pm. This is due to technical malarky about metabolism.

If you're starving hungry have a protein snack/shake etc.

Do weights if you can as muscle is high maintenance and makes you burn calories just by existing - my eyes lit up at this! Lift weights = eat cake. Bargain!!!

Don't not have chocolate etc but don't go mental and try to have them in the morning if you must have them.

Good luck!!!!
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smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[Ariel Badger]

Buy Mr Lardarse a mountain bike and tell the fat pig to do 20 miles after his evening meal every day.
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[raak]

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Try the 'masturbation method'. As promoted by Ivor Rockon.
Does involve 14hrs of furious pumping, but you can still use your other hand for eating.

Or.

Eat smaller portions.
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[MattJ]

[GhostRider]

Ketogenic diet? Like Atkins, except with high fat. You can find a book on it by Lyle McDonald to download on teh interwebs. Giving it a go myself in a few weeks, since an 8 weeks stint at defying the laws of thermodynamics did the square root of fuck all for me last time I tried.

GhostRider
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[Silver]

[Slacker24seve...]

A friend of mine has just lost over a stone in four weeks on the Dukan diet. The 'attack phase' which is week one consists of eating nothing but meat. More about it here:

https://blogs.howstuffworks.com/2010/04/21/how-the-dukan-diet-works-the-french-diet-that-is-supposed-to-end-the-obesity-epidemic/

I for one don't think that crash diets are ever the answer and I'm a firm believer of 'eat less, move more', specifically more lean protein and veggies and plenty of weights and interval training. Having said that this Dukan thing is certainly food for thought. The effect on my mate who was getting to be a bit of a porker has been impressive. If he can sustain it that will be even more so

Food for thought.
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[Silver]

I guess the issue with crash diets is that they're designed for the short term. While they may (or may not) work initially they don't do anything to alter your eating habits in the long term. I believe that's why many people see great results, come off the diet and put all the weight back on again because their eating habits return to normal.

[GhostRider]

Most of the weight loss on crash diets is water, so people can lose 5-15lbs in a week or two and think the diet is a miracle, so when they start eating like they used to again they gain all the weight back.

No matter what diet, regimen etc, the most you can hope for is 1.5-2lbs of real fat loss, any more is muscle. True change takes months, there's no real quick solution, our bodies energy systems are just too damn efficient.

GhostRider
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[tvchimp]

I lost a stone a few years back using the 'cabbage soup diet'. The diet lasts for 7 days then you can go back to eating normally, but smaller portions with exercise.

I'd happily do it again, but, the soup smell is pretty rank (taste isn't too bad with herbs/spices added), so it makes me feel a bit sick when ever I smell it.

If you want to give your metabalism a boost, eat chilli's, or make your food spicy (I'm talking SPICY - get some of "dave's insanity sauce" it's on offer from asda around £1.59 a bottle) and it will help boost it during your lunch and evening meals.

Other than that, the "eat less, and do" rule is the key to losing weight. I'm a bit heavier than I'd like (tl;dr - fat) and at the moment would be out on my mountain bike, happily doing 20-30miles a day, but have leant it to a mate so he can get to work whilst his bike is in pieces. I've got my own weight bench and weights, use it roughly every other day for an hour or two, doing a variety of different routines.. Well worth the £120 or so it cost from Decathlon.
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Bike: Currently Bikeless... Gahh

[Hetzer]

[T0MMY]

I don't need to lose weight but I play rugby so do need to keep fit. The problem is I just can't be arsed to train outside of actual skills training as I find jogging/cycling/swimming just for the hell of it incredibly tedious.

The point is, I now cycle to work sometimes instead of taking the motorbike or car so I can shoehorn excercise into my life without putting time aside for it. How does this fat bastard Skubb get to work? Could you, I mean he, start walking or cycling?

And as already said, just eat less, not more healthily. Giving up nice food is not worth it, I'd rather be fat.

[Skudd]

[Berk]

If your friend had a car, could he throw a bike in the back of it, drive 25 miles in, park up and cycle the last 10, doing the same in reverse on the way back? If he doesn't have a car, then discount the idea unless there is an opportunity to cycle to a railway station and cover much of the distance that way. (Providing the train allows bikes.)

[Skudd]

[T0MMY]

[Rogerborg]

Cycling really is ideal. Get Skubb some cheap heavy lump of a MTB and cycle to the corner shop. Uphill both ways is ideal. You - I mean, he will burn some off some pies directly, and the added leg muscle will absorb a few pints passively. The exercise will make him less hungry as well. I lost 3 stone over a few months doing that... then got a motorcycle and piled it all back on.
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GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[.....]

I'm in the process of trying to stop being a lardy git.

I've cut down on my eating - Bran Flakes for brekkie, then a sarnie for lunch and a healthy(ish) dinner.

During the weekends I'm a bit more relaxed food-wise but obviously not gorging myself on cake. I've also cut out the booze during the week - no more Stella when I get in from work.

I've mentioned it a few times on here before but I'm going to [url=www.britmilfit.com[British Military Fitness[/url] at least twice a week. Really good workout - far, far better than I'd ever get at a gym.

I've said to myself give this regime a good go - a year - and see what I feel like after that. As others have said, it's a long process with no quick fixes.

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

https://www.freakingnews.com/images/app_images/banana.jpgGet peckish?...Neck one of these.



*Don't bother with all that dieting crap. Move about abit more and eat abit less.


My Sister was proper chubbyRigh fat huffer. She made-up her own diet...was hash, she lost on average 3lb a week.
3yrs later she is still trim, but says it's a continous challenge to not go piggy again...Girls and choccy.

*IMO
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Skudd]

[Visitor Q]

It is the rather sad realisation that (unless your fun involves uppers), most of the things we earn money to enjoy will make us porky.

For me now I just continuously try to eat as little as possible, cut out the treats, and do exercise at least 3 times a week.

I was off for a month after I got sick for R+R, culminating in a week of bugger all and beer...

Noteably podgy by the end of it

The curse eh.

As for you, men are gifted. Exercise alone is enough. As said, muscle is the key. So I have always stuck to a short bit of cardio (10-15 minutes), then weights.

Depends what your joints are like. But surely curbing the food a bit and playing squash of something a couple of nights a week would suffice. Besides, once you start, everything follows after (do I really want that beer with dinner, it's going to do bugger all but mean I have to run more tomorrow... etc)
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