Kick Me Up The Arse Please!!!!

[cornish]

I need blunt pragmatic people to tell me off about this. My mates are too romantic, too soft and too involved.

There's a guy i grew up with (same village, went primary and secondary school together) both had crap home lives and were really close because of it. Got each other through our kid years and teens etc. Were each others first everything, was all very sweet blah blah blah. Went our separate ways 'item' wise but always been close cos of the things we shared as kids and despite not being together he is by a very long way the most significant relationship in my life and will always be the love of my life.

He's now married with kids. Wife was cheating on him was unhappy. I'd had a pants time and was equally unhappy but single. Things escalated and we had an affair (first time i've ever been involved with cheating as i am dead against it). I STILL feel shit that i did it.

Things were weird given the circumstances but ok. He didn't want to leave cos of kids etc. I accepted this.

All blew up in my face in the end. i said an affair was bad enough but if i found he was sleeping with any more people and this wasn't a 'one off' situation i would not be best pleased. He agreed, no one else AT ALL. Long story short, i'm a sneaky fucker and i caught him out on several internet dating sites, NOT the clean ones.

Don't feel too sorry for me cos i went fucking ballistic. Had a proper Cornish swearing, shouting, mad-hair, kicking stuff, throwing things type paddy. Posted big 'updates' on all his pages that he had a wife and kids (had listed himself as single on all of them). I cut off all contact as an item AND as mates (which was a big thing) and amoungst other things told him if he ever so much as looks at me again i'll tell his wife everything (had pics, messages etc on my phone so this was a serious statement).

The situation was irrepairable cos we'd both said and done 'final' things. it cost me a dear mate of 20 odd years and i was gutted as much as you would be in the circumstances. Wallowed in it, did theraputic 'going out drinking with my mates' etc etc etc. Am as over it as i will ever be.

Found out last week his wife has left him for the guy she's been cheating with and has filed for divorce. His life's been totally mashed up and i actually really feel for him. i left it cos too much has been said and done.

Last week he rang me in a state. I owe him loads from when we were kids and i can't bear to see anyone, let alone him, suffering like he is right now. So i said i'm here anytime you need to talk about anything but don't even THINK about anything else. Any suggestion at getting fruity will bring about a MAJOR a trouser injury!

So we've been chatting a lot about the ins and outs of it all etc. no probs. My mates think it's all lovely that he's back in touch and that things are different now and that he was in a bad place at the time etc etc etc. I don't want to touch that with a barge pole!

Today. . . . . . .during a chat, out of the blue he made a proper apology (i can see through him & it was genuine). told me his biggest regret was not leaving her and doing the decent thing with me. told me he still loves me ('fruity' loves me, not just 'mates for years' loves me). Has said he is kicking himself for doing the stuff he did and that when the divorce etc has gone through and his life is more settled he wants to start seeing me.

My decision when he first contacted me was to stick with 'all the cups of tea and sympathy you need but FUCK all else'. I feel this was a good plan. Today, said plan is starting to waver. . . . . .

I want to be SURE it will be a total waste of my life to wait for him and to invest possibly years of my life with him. I'm wobbling, i love the guy and always will and i'm letting that make me think missing out on a relationship with him would be a real loss!!!

Kick me up the arse please!!!!!!
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smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[Chalky.]

I'd rather shove my dick up your arse

[Hetzer]

All the bad stuff happened when you were both swimming in muck. Now you're both out of it and showered give it another shot. What have you got to lose, is Brad Pitt heaving over the horizon?
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[pinkyfloyd]

Heres the thing. Do you risk it and have your heart broken on a rebound fling or do you never find out and always wonder?

Personally what have you got to lose? You love the guy so it might be better to find out than always wonder hun.

Go for it.
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[Paxovasa]

As requested.

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SFabmHal8kE/SsIn75AFwyI/AAAAAAAAAg4/EcFt1RXktek/s200/ass_kicking_contest.gif

So he had an affair with you and was trying his luck with others.

yeah, he sounds like a right catch.
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Suzuki GSF600 K3 (in the fastest colour, black).

[bazza]

First, he's going to fuck you. Then, he's going to fuck you over.

Any questions?
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"That's it. You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college."
'98 Ducati 750SS, '08 Suzuki GSX650F ©2004-2014, Bazza's Harmless Banter

[ms51ves3]

[hmmmnz]

he cheated on his mrs and he cheated on you while he was cheating on his mrs,

be his friend if need be, may be let him put his filthy penis inside you if the need arises, but don't get into a relationship, i think he has proved to you that the cut of his gib just isn't up to standard,
let some other ill informed fool deal with him
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the humans are dead
I kick arse for the lord
Wiring Diagrams BIDNIP it bitches

[Dazbo666]

IMO if he was willing to cheat on his wife AND you, I'd suggest you keep that barge pole within easy reach for the foreseeable future
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1st bike (Sept'06 - May'10) : 1991 GPZ500S / Current bike (since Nov 2009) : 2003 Suzuki Bandit 600N
Word of the day : DILLIGAF

[Frost]

Just a normal kick, or are we allowed a run up?

[blurredman]

Can we kiss the bruise?
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CBT: 12/06/10, Theory: 22/09/10, Module 1: 09/11/10, Module 2: 19/01/11
Past: 1991 Honda CG125BR-J, 1992 (1980) Honda XL125S, 1996 Kawasaki GPZ500S, 1979 MZ TS150.
Current: 1973 MZ ES250/2 - 18k, 1979 Suzuki TS185ER - 10k, 1981 Honda CX500B - 91k, 1987 MZ ETZ250 (295cc) - 40k, 1989 MZ ETZ251 - 51k.

[WildGoose]

He is short on sex at the moment, and sees you as a sure thing/less hassle. He would be right by the sounds of it. He is probably aware of your vulnerability towards him.

Might take him a while to get bored of you and fuck you over, but it will come eventually.

Going to enjoy waiting for the inevitable? (Once the novelty of shagging again has worn off).

Basing this on the fact that a leopard doesn't change its spots.


You asked for blunt.
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So in other words, he stopped you for being flagrantly in posession of a motorcycle in direct contravention of the Hippies, Darkies and People Whose Face I Don't Like The Look of (Police Powers) Act. 1976

[Handsome]

This answer will be short as I'm on my way out the door...

It's a 70/30% split...

30% says it may well work seeing as you are both single ( well he Nearly is, remember that part as he will still have feelings for his wife for a while, and she may well try to keep him on a short leash if you see what I mean )...So tread carefully and lightly, take your time, mind your manners and wear clean undies, but don't rush into anything, you have to ignore previous feelings for him as they'll turn you blind to previous events...

70% says you have previous so leave it at that, stay friends by all means but you know full well he cheated on his wife with you, but he was also cheating on you with others, he's always going to be a potential dirty sket, that will be on the back of your mind, always, constantly sat there flicking the nerve that will kick in everytime he's late or not where he says he is, or when he hangs up as you enter a room or hides the screen on the computer, can you live with the not knowing and the little trust ?...That 70% should always be thought of before the remaining 30%, first and foremost, only you can decide if you are prepared to deal with that whilst dealing with everything else that''s going on on a daily basis, plus you have the little man to consider in all of this too...

It's your choice, but you have to weight everything up, but whichever way you choose to go by all means stay as or start again as friends, go slowly, see where it goes and remember, words are words, actions are actions...
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Previous Bikes...Honda NSR 125 RR...Kawasaki Zephyr 550...Suzuki SV 1000 S...Yamaha FZ8...Current Bike...Suzuki GSX-R 750...

[cornish]

you're all fab thank you! will consider this carefully. I want to make a decision now and stick to it, rather than flap about and change my mind etc. good to hear some frank opinions.

Is a big investment of time as it will take ages for him to have sorted himself out enough to think past the crap he's in now, then even more time of properly testing the water before we introduce the concept of it to our collective children. All time well spent if it's a go-er. . . .but time wasted and a lot of faff if it isn't.

My Peach Tickler has pointed out something i hadn't thought about regarding trust issues. . . . . .that'll be a toughie.

Pinky and Hetzer you're right too, it's different time, different situation and i will always wonder.

Thanks for your good advice everybody. x x x


EDIT: have had further discussions. think i will go for entertaining the possibility of a good outcome but expecting the worst. Will maintain no involvement outside being a dispenser of tea and advice in a detached manner for now, and carry on with my life outside of this.

Should he still feel the same at a later date i'll be making him work like fuck for it to make sure he's not just having a crack at me cos he thinks it's an easy option. If that pans out I will take the 'suck it and see' approach.

I will of course keep you all updated should there be any spectacular knob-wounding incidents.
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smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[Marmalade]

if he really loves you he'll buy you a cooker
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Nobby the Bastard: How yo tell the difference between the actual japanese and her just screaming because she's had live fish stuck up her arse? [url=https://www.nicks-shop.co.uk/bcf-goodies-15-c.aspGet BCF stickers and things here[/url] Reflective helmet stickers - Legal requirement in france - Clicky

[Clanger]

Shockingly late for an Auntie BCF post...how unlike me. However, everything I'd have said has been covered in the various posts above.

Still, at the end of the day, it's best to go with your gut feelings I say. And make him wear a condom, and buy you a cooker...at least then you won't feel used when it goes tits up.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[cornish]

marmalade and clanger, just saw those posts, thank you!!!

I will moan A LOT about my cooker situation when i next see him
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smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[Clanger]

[cornish]

[The Artist]

[Hetzer]

[Rogerborg]

My wife recommends this:
https://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vWW64FM_pz0/R_fJXgJvF1I/AAAAAAAAAAo/-LOtLOQ87fU/s320/prr.jpg

But you seem a bit mucky, so why not treat yourself?

https://www.annsummers.com/wcsstore/AnnSummers/images/AnnSummers/ASPRODUCT_IMAGES/07SCNRAS0014_M.jpg

If you do take up with him again, you should probably start shagging around on the side before he does. Let's do the sums.

P = his poor wife
C = his dumb c... cornishbird on the side
G = the amount of gash it would take (in theory) to keep him 'faithful'

We know:
P + C < G

So in what world do we get:
C + 0 >= G

Alternatively, you might consider trying to find someone who's not a complete and utter lying cheating bell end who can earnestly and tenderly pour his heart out to you while checking out the waitress' arse and wondering if she'd be up for a threesome.

I hear there's a few of them out there, although I've yet to meet one. Maybe cruise the local libraries and soup kitchens?
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Kwaks]

Being a bit harsh on the guy, maybe.

His wife was cheating on him, he sought out solace with CB. The profiles on sites may have just been a wee look to see what else was out there should things leave him high and dry, in addition to a bit of flirting to help his self esteem (which no doubt took a battering due to wife playing about).


Kudos he came back to you CB.
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Fallen Angel "Nae sniffing my seat now!!!!! "
www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!!

[cornish]

[Jodie]

If I was in your shoes I would play it cool for a while, just be an ear on the end of the phone for a bit, try not to succumb to his charms to meet in person or you'll just fall into the trap of when he's feeling down, he'll come to you to empty his load, it'll happen regular, you'll feel used and frustrated, not to mention paranoid, watching his every move etc.

He needs time to get over this, it will probably get nasty with his wife and you can do without that.

In my experience most people that come out of a long term relationship need a long time to sort their heads out. It took almost 2 years of going out, getting rat arsed, seeing people, to sort myself out.

Good luck, hope all goes well for you