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Jobcentre W*nkers

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The999Kid
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PostPosted: 12:00 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Jobcentre W*nkers Reply with quote

[Rant]

**Disclaimer - This post may or may not be conherent, biased, or profane... proceed at your own discretion**

OMFG! The Job centre and other seconded departments are all money grabbing wankers!

For the past 8 weeks they have been paying me 9.99 a week despite me not being in work! they have had numerous letters, copies of my P45, written statements, phonecalls and other methods of communication upto and including semaphore, smoke signals, messages by carrier pigeon, morse code and even turning up in person!

and still nothing... im entitled to 53.10 a week, im not in work, i have no other deductions for anything... i declare my voluntary hours as per requirements and turn up on the dot for appointments.

Why are they still not getting off their incompetent babboon like arses, away from the coffee machines and the hen like clucking over the office gossip and actually communicate something vaguely worthwhile.. for example, why dont we sort out this gentleman's paperwork?!

If I OWED them money then they would be quicker than a homeless man through a hotel bin to have it out my bank account... but as soon as they owe me money its every fucking advisor out there trying to find a loophole and keep me living on pitance.

In summary - The jobcentre are a hivemind of one legged, dwarf, negro, lesbian, drug peddling, incompetent, pus rideen,lethargic, bed ridden fuckwits.

[/rant]

*Cue Wahhhmbulance
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter


Last edited by The999Kid on 12:36 - 05 Apr 2011; edited 1 time in total
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pwntifex
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PostPosted: 12:04 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get a job.
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Tarmacsurfer
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PostPosted: 12:17 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rather amusing to see someone from a segment of society who whines so much and so often about discrimination using so many stereotypes and negative slurs in one "rant".

Must try harder.

D-
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The999Kid
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PostPosted: 12:18 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

pwntifex wrote:
Get a job.


at which point employers ask "whats this gap in your employment history..." and i have to explain that i have a blemished medical history with a risk of seizures

at which point they run a mile...
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter
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The999Kid
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PostPosted: 12:26 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tarmacsurfer wrote:
Rather amusing to see someone from a segment of society who whines so much and so often about discrimination using so many stereotypes and negative slurs in one "rant".

Must try harder.

D-


stereotypes exist... if everyone else uses them why cant i?
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter
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.....
Quote Me Happy



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PostPosted: 12:28 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Re: Jobcentre W*nkers Reply with quote

The999Kid wrote:
quicker than a ...


I assume you've given up trying to get back to work on the ambulances then because if someone was to send a link to this racist slur to your NHS employers I'm sure you would never work there again.


Last edited by ..... on 12:50 - 05 Apr 2011; edited 1 time in total
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keggyhander
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PostPosted: 12:35 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Re: Jobcentre W*nkers Reply with quote

Joe wrote:
The999Kid wrote:
quicker than a


I assume you've given up trying to get back to work on the ambulances then because if someone was to send a link to this racist slur to your NHS employers I'm sure you would never work there again.


Anybody doing that would be a spiteful, vindictive, cunt.
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The999Kid
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PostPosted: 12:37 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Re: Jobcentre W*nkers Reply with quote

Joe wrote:
The999Kid wrote:
quicker than a


I assume you've given up trying to get back to work on the ambulances then because if someone was to send a link to this racist slur to your NHS employers I'm sure you would never work there again.


Ok heat of the moment stuff... but thats on par with the guy that got me suspended and then releived of my job in the first place

FWIW - edited with a slightly more PC similie...
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter


Last edited by The999Kid on 12:51 - 05 Apr 2011; edited 2 times in total
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The Disapproving Brit
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PostPosted: 12:38 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Re: Jobcentre W*nkers Reply with quote

keggyhander wrote:
Joe wrote:


I assume you've given up trying to get back to work on the ambulances then because if someone was to send a link to this racist slur to your NHS employers I'm sure you would never work there again.


Anybody doing that would be a spiteful, vindictive, cunt.


Yeah. Or, y'know, black.
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pwntifex
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PostPosted: 12:38 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

The999Kid wrote:
pwntifex wrote:
Get a job.


at which point employers ask "whats this gap in your employment history..." and i have to explain that i have a blemished medical history with a risk of seizures

at which point they run a mile...

Run after them.
Don't have a seizure tho, it'll affect your lap time.
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 12:44 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

The999Kid wrote:
pwntifex wrote:
Get a job.


at which point employers ask "whats this gap in your employment history..." and i have to explain that i have a blemished medical history with a risk of seizures

at which point they run a mile...


For fucks sake......fucking lie then - if you haven't been able to figure that one out for yourself then maybe that in itself tells tales as to why you can't get a job. Jesus fucking christ.

GhostRider
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.....
Quote Me Happy



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PostPosted: 12:50 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Re: Jobcentre W*nkers Reply with quote

keggyhander wrote:
Anybody doing that would be a spiteful, vindictive, cunt.


Indeed, but people are out there who do this kind of thing, hence my warning.
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The999Kid
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PostPosted: 12:52 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Re: Jobcentre W*nkers Reply with quote

Joe wrote:
keggyhander wrote:
Anybody doing that would be a spiteful, vindictive, cunt.


Indeed, but people are out there who do this kind of thing, hence my warning.


point taken, thanks for editing your quote
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter
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Ingah
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PostPosted: 12:59 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

GhostRider wrote:

lie then


Whilst i thought exactly the same thing, isn't it a sad state of affairs that you should need to do so to get a job, and then have all the potential problems of doing so, for something that isn't your fault - and its not like they'll give you disability, when imo, that's exactly what it is. i.e. From what i'm aware, the "system" doesn't take account of "variable" conditions that vary from day to day, which isn't fair for many who suffer from such. Much as taxpayers don't like paying more tax, especially when it's frequently abused by people claiming disability that are just fine, i feel that there's more than a few people out there who get screwed over very badly by being classed as "not disabled significantly" or somesuch. Especially when some of them aren't in a position to lie.
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 13:31 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ingah wrote:
GhostRider wrote:

lie then


Whilst i thought exactly the same thing, isn't it a sad state of affairs that you should need to do so to get a job, and then have all the potential problems of doing so, for something that isn't your fault - and its not like they'll give you disability, when imo, that's exactly what it is. i.e. From what i'm aware, the "system" doesn't take account of "variable" conditions that vary from day to day, which isn't fair for many who suffer from such. Much as taxpayers don't like paying more tax, especially when it's frequently abused by people claiming disability that are just fine, i feel that there's more than a few people out there who get screwed over very badly by being classed as "not disabled significantly" or somesuch. Especially when some of them aren't in a position to lie.


Indeed it is a sad state of affairs, but needs must. You're tackling a system that is inherently designed to fuck you over, you gotta do what you gotta do....

GhostRider
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.
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hornetmike
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PostPosted: 13:50 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get a paper round or something, rather crying for a handout.
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UrbanRacer
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PostPosted: 13:55 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with ghostrider, you should try to mask some of the gaps in your employment history. tell em you were studying, travelling, raping, pillaging or whatever.

btw, GET A FUCKING JOB!!! I don't pay tax just so lazy fucking gays like you can sit about the house with a 12" black mamba and pissing about experimenting with enema's
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The999Kid
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PostPosted: 14:15 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

pwntifex wrote:
Get a job.


just got off the phone... interview 1:30pm tomorrow
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter
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warped one This post is not being displayed because the poster is banned. Unhide this post / all posts.

binge
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PostPosted: 14:52 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

GhostRider wrote:

For fucks sake......fucking lie then - if you haven't been able to figure that one out for yourself then maybe that in itself tells tales as to why you can't get a job. Jesus fucking christ.


Agree'd!

I was diagnosed with a condition when I was about 15/16 years old.
It's affected me getting 2 jobs now, which I really wanted. reason was because I couldn't pass either medical, despite PISSING through the fitness tests.

I just don't mention it now when it comes down to jobs and job hunting.

If having this condition does not entitle me to any benefits from the government, why should it hinder me getting a job either!



Ben
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WildGoose
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PostPosted: 15:40 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brick Wall

Don't use the job centre, don't use agencies, don't claim the paltry job seekers allowance. Don't apply for jobs where you can't apply to the company direct.

We are well aware of the calibre of people who work in job centres and yet people still entrust their employment opportunities to them, why?

It just puts obstacles in your path (more people scrutinizing you, more people reading/filtering your CV, more people picking holes, more interviews to stumble at, more assesments to fail).

Let the company you are applying to decide all that, and cut out the middle men.

You are in the job market to make money for yourself, not to provide the government with statistics to keep useless people in the public sector in work, and not to make money for useless job agencies.

Surprised any educated person has the patience. The only major boundaries to employment are all created by these organisations who purport to "help" and your own submission to it.
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Phoenix
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PostPosted: 16:50 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tarmacsurfer wrote:
Rather amusing to see someone from a segment of society who whines so much and so often about discrimination using so many stereotypes and negative slurs in one "rant".

Must try harder.

D-


To be fair, I recall stereotyping a couple of sectors of society regarding whining just as you have and you took offence to it. Everyone stereotypes and generalises, some more obviously than others but people only take offence when it incorporates a group they're part of or someone close to them that they feel the need to stick up for.

I didn't see his original unedited post but 999kid tends to get his fair share of grief for his persuasion and takes it all on the chin so is quite possibly exempt from his particular stereotype Silence
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thx1138
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PostPosted: 16:51 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's going to get worse.
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swampy
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PostPosted: 16:54 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mate, I know you have an interview tomorrow, but have you tried applying directly to care agencies directly ? Its what I've done in between jobs, and never had a problem getting work if necessary to tide me over.

You've got experience in the health sector and to be honest thats all they look for. There will be loads in the yellow pages, just give some a call and see what the state of play is.

They cant discriminate against you in terms of your seizure unless the job involves driving or perhaps lone working, but even then if you can prove it is a one off, or well controlled condiditon (sorry cant remember if yours is or not) it should be ok (I've worked alongside epileptics a few times).

OK the job is pretty shite, you're at the bottom of the pile, and its pretty unpleasant stuff you have to do, but hey its reasonable money for easy stuff.

Oh, and by 'mate' at the top of this post I meant 999kid not warped, I mean can you imagine him being resposible for the care of others..... *shiver
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pwntifex
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PostPosted: 17:21 - 05 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

The999Kid wrote:
pwntifex wrote:
Get a job.


just got off the phone... interview 1:30pm tomorrow

I'm glad my advice was of some use to you.
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