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cornish
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PostPosted: 00:39 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: cnut neighbor Reply with quote

Well i'm fucked off with this now and have no ideas how to deal with it that will not land me in the shit so would appreciate some advice.

Fucktard neighbor down the road has a little girl the same age as my son (5). They were great friends but this led to her using me as a free child-sitter and dumping her daughter on me whenever i was in. She'd been a pain in the arse to a few people and was not my choice of acquaintance but as our children are friends and played together i couldn't stop it without causing a row (and the attendant problems) so i kept her at as much polite distance as possible.

A few months back she randomly accused my son and another of his friends of 'beating-up' her daughter. The day in question myself and the other little boy's mum were here. . .of course she was not (at home on ebay). Her daughter went home in a strop after the two boys wanted to play a game she did not want to play. I texted her mum to say she was on her way and they'd fallen out etc as you do (kids being the mental and fickle creatures that they are) and thought no more of it.

Within a day she had turned up at the other mum's house screeching and yelling at her, calling the little boy all sorts in front of him and accusing him and my child of 'beating up' her daughter. I expected her to turn up here but she didn't. The other mum was pregnant at the time and her partner was away so she was an easily upset target. I suspect she did not come here as she knew she'd get an earful if she did.

Nothing further happened, she stopped talking to me and stopped dumping her daughter on me - result.

Shortly after though my little boy was playing on his bike outside her house with his friends (2 doors away from ours). In the street and nowhere near her property. As i was watching out of the window she came out of her house like a rabid dog screaming and swearing. He dropped his bike and ran back here. I went out and she stopped dead on the street at the edge of our property. She continued squawking and yelling like a fat, mental cnut.

At the time i was in a court battle with my ex partner and could not afford any problems of any kind. Being arrested for something, even if i was not charged would be used against me. As such the required action (a fucking good kicking) was not available. I challenged her to step onto my property. . .well, to be fair, i goaded the crap out of her to do so as i was mad as fire and wanted to get my hands on her in a legal manner. She didn't. I couldn't go into the street after her, eventually when i did step out there she scuttled back to her hovel sharpish.

My little boy was obviously very upset and didn't want to go to school the next day as he was afraid to walk down the street. Despite never wanting to discuss this kind of behaviour with a child of that age let alone force them to contemplate it being in their environment, he eventually got over it when i explained (in child terms) that she would not come near him because she is a sad, mental coward who is shit scared of mummy.

I'm fucking livid as i have spent years in court to protect him from any kind of violent or abusive behaviour. . .only to have him exposed to it anyway. . .and to have to accept the concept of mummy as someone who will behave in that manner too should the need arise. Children his age don't need to know that.

I have had to use proper channels and the police - whilst lovely - can only work within the law, which is shit. I have explored the relevant laws about harassment and restraining/non-molestation orders (with power of arrest attached) at some length over the last few years and this situation does not have enough actual evidence to give grounds for either option.

She made a report to social services about me. This worked in my favour as - due to the court process - we've had all manner of types out to see us and nothing but glowing things said about me in court as a result. This left her in the shit as the report was provably malicious and not based on any concerns about my son.

I thought that this would be the last of it. . . .but we've now started getting take-away deliveries at ridiculous hours. The last one was about half an hour ago and it scared the shit out of my son to have someone banging his door in the middle of the night.

I am currently trying to sort out transport as we desperately need it. But, as we have no garage, it is safe to assume that any vehicle i own will have it's tyres slashed, stripper dumped on it, tank sugared etc etc etc and will be constantly unuseable.

I am a single parent, as such the process of being arrested would have massive implications for him not least as there is nowhere for him to go whilst i am there and no child wants to see their mother being carted off by the police. Any traceable or properly effective actions are out of the question.

In short i have a mighty pain in the arse and since the kicking she so richly deserves is out of the question i have no ideas how to go about stopping it.

Any suggestions from all you clever and beautifully twisted people will be gratefully received.
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cornish
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PostPosted: 00:58 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

actually i should add this on too. Aside from the confrontation outside our house and contacting the police i have taken no action against her at all. I hoped that as this was not tit-for-tat she would get bored and fuck off. Obviously she has not.

In addition to the above my cat has been missing for several weeks. He's elderly and i've had him since he was a kitten. There is no chance that he has wandered off. He is scared of cars and due to his age simply goes from the house to the bench in the garden and back again, so he has not been run over either.

I came home some time ago to find him gone and his collar taken off and laid on my doorstep.

I don't want to think about what's happened to him, but you understand what i'm saying.
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TheSmiler
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PostPosted: 00:58 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can't really offer much advice as I'm only a young en on here but I'm guessing that one of the ideas of help will be for some people that live locally on the forum go down and see what she does... Laughing

Other than that If you do get car make sure you have a security camera covering it any one messes with it then at least you have got proof. You never know she herself might come down and try to do the damage then you have got her legally.

Not really sure what I would do about the take away deliveries however if they are coming from the same place, then they should be thinking of reporting the number to the police (doubt it will happen though).

Good luck hope you sort it out Thumbs Up .
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kerr
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PostPosted: 01:51 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

definitely a hard situation to be in, normally i would say leave it til she gets bored but i know the type i dont think she will, the cats collar left on your doorstep well i think you can guess she had a hand in that, i dont want you upset over what she might have done but i fear if shes willing to something to an innocent animal....
the way i see it is you have 2 choices, have a friend or friend of a friend if you know what i mean to sort her out properly or move. she clearly sick and twisted, probably depressed with little or no life making your life hell is giving hers some sort of warped purpose.
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bazza
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PostPosted: 06:51 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

You need a BCF BBQ. Featuring a guided tour of the street outside of the shrieking harridan's house...
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 08:43 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

bazza wrote:
You need a BCF BBQ. Featuring a guided tour of the street outside of the shrieking harridan's house...


He shoots...he scores! +1

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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 08:44 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leaving aside the "we'll sort her out for you, pet" fantasies, I'd approach the CAB to see if they can sort out mediation - she may be the type who rolls over for anyone wearing a name badge - your neighbourhood policing unit, and your MP, probably in that order.

Failing that, start the process of selling up. Sorry.
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flat spot
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PostPosted: 09:58 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Move in with Snow Rider and live happily ever after.
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anthony_r6
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PostPosted: 11:27 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

bazza wrote:
You need a BCF BBQ. Featuring a guided tour of the street outside of the shrieking harridan's house...


This would be awesome, crap load of guys and girls on bikes, who I assume would be willing to put on a scowl should the fat cow come out for a gander! DO IT!
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chris-red
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PostPosted: 11:40 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brake fluid over her car all the tyres slashed a brick through the window and a knife in the door with a note saying "one more thing..." Obviously you need a good alibi and no prints Thumbs Up
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colin1
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PostPosted: 14:07 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

I doubt escallation of hostilities will help unless you do something extreme.

I wouldnt want to do it, but meeting with her, long enough for her to scream herself hoarse then let you explain.

You need to remember that from her point of view, her daughter came home upset after being with your son. I'm not saying that you will convince her that nothing bad happened on that day, but it's worth a shot.

Jesus has a point for conflict resolution.
"Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself"
Admittedly it turns out that that one is leviticus, but Jesus was into that stuff too.
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mistergixer
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PostPosted: 14:16 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been through a very similar situation, my advice:

Move somewhere else.

Unless you are prepared to do time for murder, you will never beat these sort of people, it will just constantly escalate in a cycle of 'one-upmanship' until it reaches a serious level ( i.e. a petrol bomb through your window etc).

Just move away, let the scum get on with their shitty little scummy lives far far away from you.
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-LG-
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PostPosted: 14:23 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

As you need to keep it legal and such, make a note of EVERYTHING she does, doesn't matter how small. Times and dates etc.

I'm not too sure on how its worded, but I'm 90% sure it is harassment if there is unwanted contact twice. I might be completely wrong though.

What have the police said when you've phoned them? Is it worth asking to speak to the SNT officer for advice and what you need to evidence?
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Suntan Sid
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PostPosted: 15:58 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

What JFK said!

Get a video camera, and an MP3 recorder, have the MP3 recorder on, whenever you have contact.

Is this person "known" to the police?
Do you know anyone else who would be prepared to make a complaint against her?
The more people who put in complaints the better.

Been in a similar situation a while back.

I found out that the person, "attempting" to give me grief, had "form".
My wife and another neighbour had had the police out to him on numerous occasions.
In the end, I, literally, got right in his face, goading him, shouting and swearing, doing everything I could to wind him up. I was willing him to punch me, he couldn't, if he had he'd have gone away for it, I knew it, he knew it. He was going batshit mental, he went so red in the face I thought he was going to have a heart attack, there and then, (shame he didn't really).

I was quite prepared to take a couple of punches, but he didn't oblige.

Never had so much as a squeak out of him after that.
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-LG-
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PostPosted: 16:55 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Suntan Sid wrote:
What JFK said!

Get a video camera, and an MP3 recorder, have the MP3 recorder on, whenever you have contact.


On a side note with the video camera. I'm not sure on the law, but there was a women that was on my patch that was getting harassed, the Police put a camera in her window, but also had to put a sign up saying 'you are being filmed' etc. No idea if it is allowed for anyone to do it, or because the Police put it up, the sign had to go up though.
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neil.
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PostPosted: 18:34 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://crabrevenge.com/

Thinking

Edit: I have also been in a similar situation with neighbours from hell, only solution was to move away from them. Police/authorities were no help at all and I wasn't prepared to let my family be put through any more crap from them. Problem with being a normal citizen, job, etc, is that the minute I do anything illegal, my life is fucked up as well as my wife and kid's lives... Whereas for the scum, there is no recourse. Boils my blood not being able to do anything... but at least we're all happier now.
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oldpink
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PostPosted: 19:05 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

JFK wrote:

On a side note with the video camera. I'm not sure on the law, but there was a women that was on my patch that was getting harassed, the Police put a camera in her window, but also had to put a sign up saying 'you are being filmed' etc. No idea if it is allowed for anyone to do it, or because the Police put it up, the sign had to go up though.


if the camera can record / covers any "Public" footpath or any area open to the public you must have a sign warning people
if its covering only your own property there is no need for a sign
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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 21:14 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

oldpink wrote:
if the camera can record / covers any "Public" footpath or any area open to the public you must have a sign warning people


Not that I know of. You may be thinking of RIPA, but that doesn't cover personal recordings of public events made for private use.
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Irn-Bru
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PostPosted: 21:17 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looks as though they've got nothing to lose and you've got, well, everything. Maybe think of moving if they'd go as far as to murder your cat.
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nowhere.elysium
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PostPosted: 21:26 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Buy a job lot of Viz off ebay. Cut out all of the 'Fat Slags' strips. Post them, from random postboxes, over the course of about six weeks.

You're not being personally threatening, directly abusive, or even remotely aggressive, by doing this. Whatever parallel she draws on this is entirely of her own making.
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Last edited by nowhere.elysium on 21:52 - 02 Jul 2011; edited 1 time in total
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Flip
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PostPosted: 21:32 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's some bollocks in this thread but anyway. Rolling Eyes

If you live in a council (or housing association) house then they'll have to be moved after 3 complaints from different neighbours in a 12 month period. If this is the case have a word with your friendly neighbours. Wink
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 21:38 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hate those sort of women, I avoid them like the plague.

I'm sorry to hear about the cat - that sounds very premeditated indeed Sad

But you have no proof.

As JFK says, make a note of and report every incident. You may manage to end up with a case for harrassment against her. And go for the CCTV thing if you can (I know its not easy to afford, I just wedged out for a set which we're about to put up to try to counteract the bike-thieves in my area, and that set me back two hundred quid Shocked )

Along with all this: try not to let your kid see the worser side of you. Don't bitch or plot about the neighbour in front of him. As you've pointed out, you've struggled for a long time for him not to perceive you as bad-mummy.

Keeping things secret from your kids is sometimes for their own good, its an adult world and they need to be children and innocent of the shittiness of life for as long as possible.
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oldpink
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PostPosted: 21:47 - 02 Jul 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rogerborg wrote:
oldpink wrote:
if the camera can record / covers any "Public" footpath or any area open to the public you must have a sign warning people


Not that I know of. You may be thinking of RIPA, but that doesn't cover personal recordings of public events made for private use.


seems your correct

when I bought a 4 camera system a few years back I was "Advised" to put up the signs
as I wanted them for security and in particular to cover the gates to my property
the system was one that allowed me access over the internet so possibly thats why I was advised to do so
seems that individual private systems are not covered by the data protection act
only public systems must display warnings to comply


Quote:
Household Use

The use of CCTV cameras on residential properties is becoming increasingly common, which can be worrying if you feel that your privacy is being threatened.

There is an exemption for domestic or household processing of personal information, as long as this does not involve putting personal information on a website or making it available to the world at large in another way without good reason.

This means that if a CCTV camera mounted in your neighbour's property is overlooking your land, it is unlikely that they will be breaching the Data Protection Act. However, they may be breaching other legislation such as the law about harassment or voyeurism, and so may be subject to investigation by another body, such as the police.

The use of cameras for limited household purposes is exempt from the DPA. This applies where an individual uses CCTV to protect their home from burglary, even if the camera overlooks the street or other areas near their home. Images captured for recreational purposes, such as with a mobile phone, digital camera or camcorder, are also exempt.

The Data Protection Act does not apply to individuals’ private or household purposes. So if you install a camera on your own home to protect it from burglary, the Act will not apply.

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