'Mandatory' wedding invite- Go or excuse?

[Visitor Q]

So, basically I've been invited to the marriage of a poor but stunning girl with the owner of my schools cousin. They barely know each other, and asides from the glitz the girl doesn't seem too happy about it (took her two weeks to tell me about it, and I've only been here a couple of months).

Now, I've never been to a wedding, but since I have no respect for the institution of marriage anyway... not too arsed.

That said, she was a bit of a friend when I first got here, and I do fancy the arse off her so would love to see her decked up and looking hot. She's stunning without a stitch of makeup...

But... my boss has told me I have to give 500k ($25) to her as a present. I am fairly brassic at the moment, and since the wedding is on a Sunday I can't really get too hammered (got to hit work at 6.50) so bang for buck is very limited.

Also, every Vietnamese friend I've asked has told me the 500k thing is bollocks, and my white friend here is adamant it's the only reason they invite white people because we fall for that.

I'm very tempted to hand in my (one month) notice on payday anyway as the school is irking me, and at worst I'll stay here until christmas.

However, as the tallest and youngest white guy invited, my presence will be missed.

What do you guys reckon?

Poll set up.
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[Visitor Q]

I should point out the owner of my school is one of the richest women in Vietnam, and so is her husband.
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[Hetzer]

Tell the rich cnut to fcuk off.
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[nowhere.elysium]

I'd tell them to get fucked. That's a significant imposition, and one that they've got no right to expect of you. It might only be ~$25 to you, but it's not so little over there, as you've told us before. Sounds like there might be a bit of Nigerian in her family's ancestry, to be totally honest.

Talk to the friend, though: make it clear that your bear her no ill will, just that you're pissed with the way her mother's behaving.
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[fatpies]

Its Asia, it is a cultural thing.....

If people don't go they still pay. Think of it as a form of Baksheesh.

Not going and more importantly not paying is a major mark of disrespect and it will be remembered and may well affect job ops.

One of my former employees are a guy from Taiwan. He got invited to weddings and had to stump up £200 wedding 'gift'. Not doing so would incurr a serious loss of face for his family.

BS I know but you're in Asia now its how it works, you've got to roll with it.

[Daimo]

tbh, if your a real "friend" then you should want to give the bride/groom a present/gift to start off their new marrage. How much doesn't matter, its the thought that goes into it.

tbh, if i'd have found out one of my friends coming to my wedding was asking this, i'd have to question if they were actually a mate or not.

And imo, your reasons for going are pretty poor. Because you want to see a pretty bride in her wedding outfit. Bit lame that isn't it??

If your not a real friend, then simply don't go and do the decent thing by letting them know in advance that your are sorry but you cannot make it.

[MinhDinh]

Generally we do give money for weddings, but no one has to.

Also, Bonny, have you gone soft? Vietnam has made you make too many threads asking for advice!
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Hit the G spot.

[Hetzer]

Any 'culture' that expects a gift of money as an obligation can go fcuk itself. No gift is an obligation, it's either sincere and given of free will or it doesn't get given at all.

On top of which:

"Also, every Vietnamese friend I've asked has told me the 500k thing is bollocks, and my white friend here is adamant it's the only reason they invite white people because we fall for that."
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[D O G]

[G]

[Chalky.]

I'd buy them a physical present personally.

[defblade]

I read the thread then voted. Looks like I think the same way as most people.

Enjoy; post the photos
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[Daimo]

[D O G]

[quote="Daimo"]If you dont wish to send your mate and his new wife into married life by offering a gift to celebrate their new beginging, (be if pyhsical or otherwise), then I guess that shows how tight and selfish you are.[/img]

No, it shows that I don't feel the need to demonstrate my congratulations by buying them some physical 'thing'.

[.....]

[Daimo]

Edit, not worth the typing.

Yes, your correct, the internet man who read a little text has a terrible character judgment. Story ends.

[mistergixer]

[Visitor Q]

The old bonny had more people in real life to talk to. I can't talk to anyone at work for obvious reasons, and I don't know that many outside.

You guys are the impartial crew.

When I say she is a friend, she was some very hot girl who once took me on a very fun bike ride to go get noodles. Other than that, we're not exactly close.

It's more the fallout side of it. At present, I'll see how expensive my weekend has been, and if I get any better offers for Sunday. Obviously I don't want to be riding around too much, especially as the (death) road to my estate is opposite the hotel they're holding their wedding in.

I think I can already feel the twinges of a stomach bug Only GTA:San Andreas can cure it.
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[Rogerborg]

You're there to absorb the culture. Well, ripping off Whitey is part of the culture.

Ask the poppet directly if it's appropriate to give her money. Tell her that in your culture it's not considered appropriate for an unrelated young lady to accept money from a single gentleman, and you don't wish to imply that she's a tart. Two can play at that game.
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[Visitor Q]

I have an extra option. I just spent the evening with a group of Vietnamese friends, and the going rate is 200k. 500k is Saigon prices only. They all seemed affronted on my behalf.

So, I go, and 200 it is.

Balls to them. They can write me up in their book as a tight cunt. Least they won't write me up as a mug. And I will drink FAR more than that.
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[...]

Don't forget, we want pics of the hot bride!

[Clanger]

[colin1]

I know nothing about Vietnamese weddings, but in England, the guests feel like they are doing the bride and groom a favour by turning up when they would prefer to be down the pub, and the bride and groom feel that the pressies don't begin to cover the cost of the stuff consumed by each guest, but that's mostly because everything to do with weddings is over priced.

I reckon you finding out the usual going rate, which you have done, is the best way.

I reckon bonny should try going bcf cold turkey, to properly experience the culture.
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[Visitor Q]

[Suntan Sid]

Very similar routine over here, monetary gifts, in sealed envelopes, are expected to be handed over, at the door, as you enter the reception.
Therefore wedding invitations are handed out willy nilly, I've lost count of the number of work colleagues who never speak to you, but gladly hand out invites.
The "happy couple" are not offended if you don't turn up!
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