Guys who have had "that swab"

[pits]

Well I have had to go and have "that swab" done, and for the guys who have had it done I need to know, does the feeling of total and utter violation ever go away, I know it has only been a day since the most painful experience of my life, and I still feel violated, does it ever go and do you keep getting reminders about it?

And for anyone who hasn't ever had "that swab" can I offer this advice, it will happen to you if you're are stupid, and as much as I hate them and near enough refuse to wear them, glove up, no man should feel that pain

[kerr]

my mate had his done infront of a bunch of trainees, said his dick shriveled
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aprilia 125 Af1 Futura >> Suzuki gsxr 600 srad >> J1 zx6r >> cbr 600rr >> Speed Triple

[james1988]

I've had it done 3 times because I haven't wrapped up. The first was fucking awful - it makes me cringe now - the second was even worse and for some bizarre reason the third was alright. I enjoyed the first piss afterwards though after holding it in for hours. They all came back negative thank god.

James

[Codemonkey]

lol, go for a flexible cystography, then you'll know what feeling violated is
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Test Passed 10/05/2011 Current bike: XJ6-N

[Rogerborg]

Constricted urethra, solved by Mr Nobdrill. Peed in a bag for a week, then pissed blood for another three days. Oi, 'ave a banana.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[pits]

The swab was bad enough, fuck anything else going down the old gentleman, seriously even now I know exactly where she went to with it.

James, I too also thought they perhaps they would take urine sample so saved myself, I had to sit down to pee afterwards, I could have painted the side of a house after having him violated.

[Skudd]

Wash she worth it though?
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[garth]

I had some small asian woman squeezing my balls.

''Yoo check yoah baawws''?

Yes thanks! Lol.
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You ain't a has been if you never was

[CarlosCBR]

Lol takes me right back! Did they use two swabs on you? I remember them putting the first one in (larger one) and the pain was horrid, then when she got the second one (smaller) i thought "this wont be as bad" but she must of put it in at least 3 times further.

Was so glad after that was over with.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OPv5mDPQ14

https://www.facebook.com/carl.simmonds.7

[Ariel Badger]

Prince's wands
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[supZ]

had one done years ago after one of my mates told me he had a case of nob-rot roughly the same time we had 'shared' this girl (not at the same time, but in the space of a week) so i went to get checked.

my god that was a horrible experience, never known a feeling as bad. didnt help the nurse was some old fat moose. the old fella nearly disappeared when she walked in, not to mention its reaction when she tried to spear it down the japseye with a cotton bud!

i was congratulated in my pain threshold though, she said most guys scream or yell when they do it.

horrible experience

came back clean though thank god
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CBR954RR - Daily toy
CBR600RR - Trackbike

[MaybeGuy]

I've never been tested. Just knob a girl for a few months and get her tested. Problem solved
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[james1988]

[Skudd]

[james1988]

[Daimo]

Swab as in "poking it down the eye"?

if so, yes, and yes the poor nurse in the room had to catch me as I fainted to the ground in pain.

japs eye = wee out..... thats it...

Worst experience with my penis ever. Dirty skanky hoe.

Still, both got cleaned, and had a FB for a while lol

[L4Isoside]

Makes me feel ill thinking about it. Never had it rather not !

[pits]

I almost punched the old dear doing it,
Weird experience, you go in, and you sit in waiting room with your card, you pick your number, you look around and notice others in there, who just seem as nonchalant as you, "yeah I probably have something wrong with my distinguished old gentleman sat on two duffel bags, what of it"

Then you get called in for your details, and they set it up.

Then you wait again in waiting room

Then you notice the others that have come in, the group of slaggy chavs who blatantly have something, the young mum with her kid saying "we wont be long now dear, just like last time remember" or the young boy who had to come in with his dad

Then you get called into the waiting room, quick few questions, then drop your kegs and lets have a look, no problem, lying on bed knob out, she grabs hold of him pulls him straight, then you catch glimpse of the cotton rod that is about to impale itself inside your member, and all you can think is, "it wont hurt, fuck me that's big HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST ON A BIKE FUCKING A STICK UP THE WRONGUN GET THAT THE FUCK OUTTA MY COCK BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE TITS!!!!!!!!"

All you want to do is just sit there and curl up in a ball, knowing that some 50 year old lady as just violated the most sacred thing in the world, a hole that should never be touched, you reach for your imaginary revolver *click click click* it's empty


Then I had my blood taken, which to be fair I did almost pass out and throw up all over the place, I can't do needles, I really can't, most people say they don't like needles, I really don't like needles, she brought it out and I went white, almost snapped it inside me as I almost passed out.


You know what the worst part of it all
I didn't even get a sticker or a lolly pop

[Smash]

[LordShaftesbu...]

[Clanger]

Talking about being violated, I wonder if this is the time/place to start talking about the three yearly smear test a woman has to go through??
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[LordShaftesbu...]

Oh please do! And be sure you include every detail ...

*zip*

[Marcg868]

Try having a Cystoscopy. Being violated with one of them is an experience i will never forget. Pissing razor blades for a week after

On the plus side, the Nurse monitoring my obs during the procedure would of got it
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[-LG-]

Just the thought of having something put down my cock is putting my off sex for life!

I made the mistake of Googleing 'Cystoscopy'...fuck that!

[angryjonny]

Not had a swab myself but I saw a Glenn Wool show in which he graphically described the swabbing motion "like someone mixing a drink". He now winces every time he has a cocktail made, apparently. He says he reckons that's why James Bond has his Martinis shaken not stirred - that guy must have had dozens of these tests.