DEAR AUNTIE !!

[halucin8]

i need some advice.

My partner of 10 years recently decided he wanted to try moving back home to Denmark, so the plan was he went first and found a job and we would follow.

While he was there i suspected he was messing around but had no proof and did not want to believe he would do that.. not to me and the kids we have 2 young sons.

While he was away his attitude changed and he was really off and he was making every excuse not to look for somewhere to live. one day he tells me he doesnt love me anymore and wants to leave. devasted i accepted it then a few days later i get a txt saying he is sorry and he wants to come home. he says he has no money for the ferry to get home and can i lend it to him. So all is forgiven and i lend it to him and he arrives home i also loaned him money for a new mobile.

He was here a few days and i went to the bank and when i came back one of the kids told me he had been taking stuff out of the attic so i asked him what he had taken he said his stuff and he had packed his car and he left. didn't say goodbye to the kids. He's no real loss as he didn't work and expected me to pay for his bikes and cars (insurance tax fuel etc ) and as i thought we were a family i did it.. yes i know im a MUG !!

Hes been gone for about 6 weeks now, hes back in Denmark and hes living with the girl i suspected him of seeing .. shes not a nice girl she got her own child taken into care as she left him home alone as a toddler while she went partying and i've been told shes a drug addict too. she isnt allowed to see her son without someone from the state supervising. So there is no question of whether i would let my young sons stay with them, the answer is NEVER IN A MILLION years

He doesn't ring the kids or email them or anything.

I definitely DO NOT want him back, but i would like my money, as it would come in handy for christmas I have asked for it but he either doesn't answer or just goes on about how i ruined his dark orbit game..

Do i keep on at him for the money, fly to DK and demand my money or just write it off ??

[Chalky.]

I'd sack him off completely.

You won't get the money by the sound of things, just forget about him.

[whitedevil]

He sounds like an utter cunt, cant you make him pay child support?
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GPZ500 sold ~ CBR600FS-2 sold ~ ZX6R sold ~ Street Triple R

[anthony_r6]

I'm sure they can chase people for child support in the EU, so look into that and stick it to the dude. About the money he owes - Yep, I'd say goodbye to that.
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Ted : "Maybe he's agoraphobic."
Dougal : "Jack scared of fighting? I don't think so, Ted."

[Clanger]

Write off the money and chalk it down to experience, I don't know how the small court laws work overseas. I might however, be tempted to write to his parents to explain what has happened and tell them that they are more than welcome to come and visit their grandchildren but explain why they can't visit them and why.

And that's kinda it. Try and pick up the pieces and don't believe a single word he says to you ever again, IMO. Good luck getting over the way he's treated you. What a beastard.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[halucin8]

Already have the child support in place. Denmark have a great system in place its a set amount per child and if he doesn't pay they pay it and then chase him for it. Hes not paid anything yet but its about to go to the tax man for them to pay it to me.

Spoke to his mom tried not to get them involved in all this tbh as i wanted them to have a relationship with the kids. She saw some stupid thing on my FB you know one of those like this, and it was something about do you know someone who is alive just because you cant afford a hit man and apparently she showed him and he took it as a death threat .. LOL thinks too much of himself i think.. anyway his mom said she loves the kids but doesn't want anything more to do with us.


Yes he did a number on me for sure, but you live and learn.

Just know when hes on his arse hes going to come looking for his kids, and i dont think that is going to be good for the kids one has ADHD with mild aspergers and he does not cope well at all with change hes been really upset by all this and is only just settling down.

I never wanted the kids to grow up without a father but i will not allow them to go there where they would be at risk. he thinks nothing off them, he dad gave him money for the kids for Christmas and he spent it on a car stereo for himself and as he has never even rung or emailed to ask how they are. He is a member of this board. so i wont say too much

[Asharin]

What. A. Wanker.
Sorry he took you for a ride, and I too would just chalk it up to experience and just get on with your life.
He sounds like a no-hoper, with no real ambition content to drift through life sponging off others. Just forget the loser.

You and your kids will be better off without his influence polluting your lives. When the kids are older and ask about 'daddy' just tell them thr truth without name calling..let them mae their own minds up, I'm sure they'll agree with you.

Can you tell I have no sympathy for fathers that don't bother with their kids?
I miss mine all the time when I don't see them..can't understand why anyone would want to shut their own kids out of their life..

[Clanger]

[Asharin]

[Dragonfly]

To be honest I want to know who it is am waiting for them to reply here in nosy fashion. But I reckon you should cut your losses and learn from it. You contact him for money thats not exactly getting him out of your hair. Dont go near him , dont force him to see your kids that will mess them about when he flys off again. Sod him your kids come first. Giving up parental rights would be good.
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[angryjonny]

[MORTON]

I would simply never bother with him again, forget the money, money is just a route to arguements and makes the pain much worse for the sake of maybe getting some of it.

Cut all contact, the lot. Look after you the kids and your family. You are clearly just as daft as I was!!! That is what happens to nice people. Sack him off.....

FOREVER.....

People sadly change, cause huge disappointment and hurt. What you met is probably miles apart from the bloke he is now. Grass always greener? He will learn. By then you will be sorted out, happy and appreciated...at which time he will of course have realised what a prick he has been....and by then do you honestly think you will care

Stay strong, look after you.

Oh and dont worry about the kids, they adapt, who needs a father like that? Better off completely without him.

[J0Al1]

I'm unsure what to say to this...

10 years? What was he like during the 10 years?


https://www.lone-parents.org.uk/portal/modules.php?name=Forums

Being a single parent, I like reading this site, you hear the same stories, worse one.. can vent etc.

[Flip]

[Polarbear]

[halucin8]

Thanks for the replies, much appreciated. Yes you pretty much confirmed what i was thinking. Children are not missing anything as he never even played with them to be honest and he begrudged taking them to school etc.

What was he like over the last 10 years? here! that was about it, he did work part time for a while but decided to sack that in and have a holiday alone in DK.

To be truthful i felt guilty that he left DK to live here with me and felt like he had given up a lot for me so i was kinda soft on him , but now i don't see it like that at all. When i met him he was sleeping on a friends sofa and came with one bag of clothes, his mother wouldnt let him live with her nor would his father. He had no job then either. He had no licence when i met him so i paid for both his bike and car lessons, so if anything he gained rather than lost. He led an easy life didn't have to work, still had several bikes a car, all his bills paid for, and could come and go as he pleased.

Even when he moved back to DK this time his parents wouldn't help him, he was sleeping on a friends floor, they bent over backwards for him and apparently now he won't even acknowledge them, so they feel shit on by him. which i can understand.

I agree with the no ambition comment he had none.

He sold the VTR firestorm i bought him to move back to DK this time, when he said he wanted to come back he arrived on the Thursday and on the Friday we went out for a "drive" (he drove). Funnily enough we ended up at millennium motorcycles looking at a Speed Triple, but already cheesed off with how he had treated me i wouldn't agree to buy it and told him that he would have to get a job. that was when things went sour.

Just feel used in all honesty and i feel responsible, feel bad for the kids that he obviously thinks so little of them, but well they aren't missing out on much with him gone.

I will stop chasing the money, if he has any shred of decency he will pay it but if not, WHEN he turns up at my door begging to see his kids he better have that money in his hand.

[LordShaftesbu...]

He sounds like a psychopath. Come on, just tell us who it is!

[The Artist]

It is me! This is a video of me in my bakery.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR2jRDKD_NE

[Suntan Sid]

Why not name and shame?
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"Everybody needs money, that's why they call it money!"

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[thegubner]

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[Dragonfly]

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[The Shaggy D.A.]