I often think about killing myself....

[Mondeo Man]

I'm not depressed. There's much in my life that is quite good. I actually think that I'm extremely: good looking, intelligent, witty. I've a lot going for me. I consider myself superior to most. I'm not lacking confidence (although it's a quiet confidence: I don't scream and shout but I know what I want).

I'm late twenties, I've lived a bit. I'm certainly no angst ridden teen, or emo kid.

Yet, something that recurs, is a strange desire to end it all. I'll be walking by a river, and I'll think "why not jump in, see if you can drown?". etc etc I'm not really willing to do it, but there's kinda something deep in my mind that is putting forward the idea as an hypothesis. Now and then, I simulate a gun to my head, and "pretend" I'm blowing the brain out. I have a vision of it really happening and the walls being splattered. This pleases me.

Kinda like, yeah, you could get up at 5am again, eat the breakfast, go to work for another drawn out day of tedium, or you could.. hang yourself, because it's actually all a load of bollocks.

I like the idea of never having been born. Fundamentally, I wish I hadn't been. If I could switch myself off, like a pc, I would. Strangely, I enjoy life, I love life, I love all the little things. I like talking to people, helping ppl, learning about ppl. I love sitting there and chilling, chatting, luxuriating. I kinda get on with anyone and give everyone my time if they want it. But I think, if I could have had a choice, if I could have been there, and was omnipotent, when my dad was mounting my mum, I would have made sure it ended in a tit wank, rather than my conception.

In my dreams, I'm often being decapitated, or crushed, or having my eyes plucked out, I've been killed a thousand times in my mind, in the most gruesome ways.

I don't know. Somehow, things kinda went wrong in my life, I guess.

[.....]

It's because you have a Mondeo.

[fatpies]

Bonny had a post about this a few months ago around the time you joined.

Effectively most normal people run simulations of what if type scenarios.

It is perfectly normal tbh.
____________________
"It's easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It's a lot more difficult to perform one"

[fatpies]

https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=2800662#2800662
____________________
"It's easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It's a lot more difficult to perform one"

[bazza]

[Raffles]

[andys675]

sounds pretty normal tbh

you need to control your dreams a bit better, don't be the victim be the aggressor!

[Kickstart]

Hi

Another vote for fairly normal. You are still far from putting anything into making it happen.

Although the feeling of smashing into the ground after falling from a height in a dream is quite nice.

All the best

Keith
____________________
Traxpics, track day and racing photographs - Bimota Forum - Bike performance / thrust graphs for choosing gearing

[N cee thirty]

I often think about sticking my hand in the radiator fan on the tractor for some weird 'satisifying' thought/reason.

Maybe i'm warped.
____________________
'00 Aprilia RS50 > '92 Honda CG > '99 Yamaha Fazer > '91 Yamaha RXS > '79 Suzuki X5 > 01' Honda Cg > 07' Honda Cg > 82' Kawasaki Z200 > suzuki gsxr 400 gk73a > honda vfr 400 NC30 Mod 2 Passed 09/06/2011

Jewlio Iglesias wrote: I actually did vote BNP once

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Feel like i'm missing out. I very rarely have nasty dreams, and when i do i always survive or wake before i'm about to hit the deck.

[edit] Oh...these are your waking thoughts....i see.

[spoken fast] Work harder and do some keep fit. Keep off the beer and don't smoke pot.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[potato]

You need help.
____________________
OOOooosshh!

[whitedevil]

[Rogerborg]

[Adam.I]

[SoND]

[JP7]

Have a look into the symptoms of OCD. It isn't just about being ritualistic or a neat freak. If you're having recurring dark and inappropriate thoughts about violence or death, it could be down to OCD.

I think all of us have thought at some stage "What would happen if I did this..." . It happened to me the other day, I was driving along, and a lorry was pounding along the other way. I wondered what would happen if I clipped the corner of it.

That was just a passing thought though. It is suggested that you may have OCD if you become completely preoccupied by something and it affects your quality of life.

Have a look at this: https://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/ocd/index.shtml . It's only a BBC quiz, but it may give you an idea.

[garth]

My initials are OCD and I think about death quite alot.

I want to know what happens after you die.

Just not yet.
____________________
You ain't a has been if you never was

[P.]

Used to think like that, then I realised I wasn't gay, so it cant be that bad

[supZ]

[P.]

It got padlocked mate.. nothings going in or out

[Slacker24seve...]

[P.]

[halucin8]

[temeluchus]

I have an obsessive need to look in cupboards. No iea why and it annoys the hell out of me. Its presumably ocd.

I also get depressed, although I have never contemplated suicide.
____________________
Some shite cruiser. Now with guns and FREEDOM!

[JonB]

Stop playing the lottery and accept you will never be a millionaire.
____________________
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.