A mate wants to kill himself.

[johnsmith222]

Hi guys.

I am looking for some help here. A pal of mine is very depressed and has talked about suicide before, but it was more about being frustrated about not having the balls to do it. To be honest, I kinda thought it was bluffing. I didn't talk to him as much because each time I would ask him how he was in a sort of general small talk kind of way the answer would always be something like "terrible".

I'll be honest, I thought it was a bluff. But now his parents aren't allowing him out their house because he apparently tried to kill himself. I've not spoken to his parents and I don't know them too well but they seem like nice people.

Now, I am convinced he's going to do it. He wants me to come over this week to bid his farewells and then kill himself by the end of the week.

Seriously, I have tried everything. I don't know what the fuck to do. I have told him that I will come over but I won't say bye because I don't agree with what he is considering. I have spoken about how we all have to die, and it's better to find out what the future holds before dying. He's 21.

I have tried to explain that he could use his wish to die to his advantage. He could do all sorts of "dangerous" sports and get the enjoyment without having to worry about the risk.

I am the sort of person that is quick to call bullshit when people talk about suicide, and out of anger I have thought "stop talking about it and fucking well get on with it then". This is different.

I don't know what to do. I think I am his only remaining friend and his only hope. I am going back to uni though and I will have fuck all time.

I need to make sure I say and do everything I can at this point because I don't want any regrets.

[WannaBeDude]

Initially if he's seroius, he needs professional help, beyond what you or his family can provide. Get them to call the local crises team asap.
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[panrider_uk]

As above.

Professional counselling can work.

Mark
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[The Shaggy D.A.]

If someone really wants to kill themself, they get on with it. The attention whoring is a problem for experts, and is out of most people's league to deal with. Whatever they decide to do, it's not your fault for doing or not doing the "right thing".
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[johnsmith222]

Do I even go and see him? I mean, it's like I am just ticking off another box for him that are on his list of things to do before he dies.

[swampy]

Agree with the above. He needs help - initially this should be through his GP who will assess his intentions and get the local mental health services involved if necessary.

Shaggy hit the nail on the head really. If people are gonna top themselves they will whether you visit or not is gonna make no difference to his intentions.

No doubt someone will come on here spouting bollocks about the fact he's talking about means its 'only a cry for help' and he's not serious. This is often not the case and suicidal idealation is one of the major risk factors in assessing whether someone will go through with it....
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[Clanger]

Hmm, this is tricky.
I am not sure what I would do in these circumstances, apart from maybe go and talk to his parents and tell them what he is telling you. I think it's only fair to you that you share this burden, because it is 'a burden'. They probably know him the absolute best, and they would be advised to get him to see a doctor who might check out if he has mental health issues.

I certainly wouldn't ignore it. But I certainly wouldn't go round and see him until you have spoken to either his parents or contacted the Samaritans or other helping agency.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[colin1]

Being their for a mate when he is feeling low is unlikely to do much harm. Not being there may not be really bad, but if he does it a part of you may wonder if he still would have if you had gone. Many years ago a friend I had fallen out with got back in touch and wanted to meet up and was clearly feeling low. I was wrapped up in my own problems and I'm not sure I even replied, and them forgot all about it until years later I found killed himself. not sure how much I could have helped but I know I could have helped a bit, but I didn't.
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[Rogerborg]

[No 6]

[P.]

Going by what happened to "a friend" of mine.. he'll want you there, if you are his closest friend (or even just a close friend) he will appreciate that you actually give a shit about him, enough to visit and help him out.

[Paxovasa]

Most people who are contemplating suicide just go and do it. He may well be serious, but I would question if his true intentions are to kill himself or whether it is just attention seeking.

Either way he needs to see his GP and they will be able to get him the help he needs.

And yes you should go and see him and try to get him to go see his GP. Or worse case get him sectioned.
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[mistergixer]

I'm inclined to believe it's attention whoring too. When i get around to doing it, i certainly won't be telling the missus 'just off to do myself in dear, i've left you a suicide note upstairs, my will is in the sock drawer'.

By all means go round there, but give the opposite of what he expects - instead of pandering to his boring self-indulgence, tell him to man the fuck up and stop being a twat.

Or, take him out for a spin on the back of your bike, filter at high speed, pop it onto the back wheel etc. Scare the living shit out of him, make him realise just how easy it is to die.


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Space Monkey #7
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[chris-red]

Does he have anything to be depressed about? living with parents I assume he has 3 squares and a roof over his head. How anyone that young without a violent/fucked up past could want to kill themselves is beyond me.
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[johnsmith222]

[TheDonUK]

If he is going to kill himself when you see him tell him to sell everything he owns, go sky diving, bungee jumping, get his bike licence and buy an R1, like you say seems a brilliant opportunity to do all the dangerous things you can think of, and in doing so might get a chemical serotinin hit that he can then chase ever more...

But speak to the parents, introduce yourself as a friend he has confided in tell them hes planning it next weekend or whatever, find out if you can get him sectioned.

Better off a pissed off guy in a psych ward who wont speak to you again for betraying his confidence than rotting in the ground...
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[Kickstart]

[mistergixer]

Why not just let him get on with it?

Live or die, isn't it his decision?
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Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
Mistergixer's videos on YouTube

[Tenko]

Just a thought - could you take a decent carry-out curry, a few tins and a dvd round? Talk it through, burp and fart a lot and see how he feels after that....

[potato]

Tell him to man the fuck up.
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OOOooosshh!

[Skudd]

Only he can help himself and he needs to want to help himself too.
You can flap around saying this and that, but there is nothing you can really do. If he really wants to kill himself then he will. if it is for the attention then he wont do a propper job.
If you go to his funeral in a weeks time then he was right, but it seems that that won't be for a very long time.
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[colin1]

[mistergixer]

Maybe some people don't want a climbing instructor.
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Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
Mistergixer's videos on YouTube

[WannaBeDude]

They can't see a way out besides ending it. Nothing helps initially, no perspective, joy, or appreciation.

The mental and coinciding physical symtoms are that bad, that dieing seems like for one a good option and for two perhaps the only option.

Loved ones and ' life ' have no meaning, music and the sun on your face is not taken in, just rapid cycling, thoughts of death and suicide.

Thats why assessent and meds is needed, treatment and a LONG road back to recovery.

Unless you've been there or work in the field, it's hard to comprehend how unwell a person becomes in the main to want to end it. The reasons for are varied, but the underlining issues can be addressed, perhaps not resolved, but put away again with the hope they do not resurface any time soon with any of the same severity.

[Rogerborg]