The shit Christmas presents thread.....

[mistergixer]

I've already had my first Christmas present, and it's a shit one.

MrsGixer thought she'd get brownie points by buying me something bike related. She's splashed out a few quid on a lovely canvas print of a bike racer.

Only trouble is, it's only Jorge fucking Lorenzo, who, frankly speaking, I would not piss on if he was on fire. And.....she's lost the receipt, so I'm fucking stuck with it now.



Fortune, once more, vomits down my back.

So, post here about the shit that you got that you don't like.....
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Mistergixer's videos on YouTube

[lllN30lll]

£20 says you gave a big christmas smile.

[Shaft]

Dropped off Mum at Sisters, took home a bag full of presents/stocking fillers, one of which wasn't wrapped.

It's 3' long and bills itself as "Longer than your average wish list", "Lasts longer than turkey leftovers", "Taller than your average elf" and "Christmas stocking over-filler".

Yes, it's 60 Jaffa cakes, in 5 separate cartons, packed end to end.

All very nice, but I can't farking stand Jaffa cakes!!!!!!!!

I'm 46, you would think my older Sister would know me better by now.............

Although I'm thinking that might be slightly better than the Vick's Sinex spray I got a few years ago
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[Asharin]

My dad dropped off the kids presents the other day. Left one for me that he'd bought on the way in...from LIDL, unwrapped still in the LIDL bag...

It's a filofax.

WTF would I need a filofax for in this day and age, not that I'd ever need one, I remember all appointments in my head anyway..and if I did manage to forget, well important ones I put in the calender on my phone...

I'd have prefered it if my dad had just owned up and said, sorry son, I couldn't think of anything to get you, here's a fiver, or a tenner or whatever.

A filofax :/ Even a diary would have been preferable.

[Blau Zedong]

[HD]

Lonsdale boxers.

Cheers mum.




On another note, the Hood jeans make up for it

(and the other stuff)
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Rusty '02 Vito Camper + CBR600F3

[Visitor Q]

3 years out of the country for Christmas. Cash from parents, and I don't buy anyone any presents.

Fucking. Win.

Oh, I have been promised a present by a lass here. I hope it's booze. So I got her a kilogram of frozen crocodile meat
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From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[Suntan Sid]

Ok, beat this.
I'll freely admit I'm not an Xmas person, and go out of my way to avoid participating in the annual tat fest, all my friends know this and, thankfully, leave me out of it.

Yesterday, (Xmas eve), I thought it was about time I took the dog out for it's second walk. I opened the front door and there was a carrier bag hanging on the door handle.
Inside there was a Xmas stocking, made out of felt, inside that there were 20 "Celebrations" chocolates, a sachet of "Wiskas" cat food, (I dont have a cat), an orange, (I've got 2 orange trees in my garden FFS), a small box of chalk with the price label still on it, two items from a joke shop, a "bendy" pencil and a set of novelty, glow in the dark, fangs.

https://i645.photobucket.com/albums/uu172/Troodos-Pool-Guy/XmasWTF.jpg

Er, I ate the other sweets!

No idea who left it there, just, WTF?
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[robs321]

I got more DVDs, they can go on the shelf with the other unwrapped ones. I dont even own a DVD player!

[Fisty]

[Visitor Q]

[pits]

[Teaman]

I WIN

had the gf walk out on us yesterday

"EDIT" Thanks to you lot who think its funny or cool lol.
Only lived together 3 years the twat. happy xmas kids and ta tah...
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Someone stupid does not realise they r stupid.stupidity is indistinguishable from malice U just have to accept that some people are thick as p1gsh1t and work around them.

[The Artist]

Sit down to open presents....mum gets attack of acute pancreatitis, ambulance, hospital etc. Christmas is currently delayed for a few days now.

She's ok, but she has to go to hospital for various reasons. Morphine being one.

[ThoughtContro...]

Fuck me, we do all like moaning. Who's been pissing in the Xmas sherry?

[pits]

[oldpink]

I fully sympathise with you on the Jorge Lorenzo gaff

I can't complain I got (well I'm getting) what I asked for
a Kawasaki paddock chair
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I have become comfortably numb

Theory & hazard 24-may 2016, CBT 8th June 2016, MOD 1 2nd Aug 2016 Mod 2 2nd-Nov 2016 - Current bike CBR 600 RR

[pits]

I just opened mine up and put it all together.
The Prelim.
Asked what I would like, so I say X
Girlfriend asks what I would from her, so I say Y would be nice.
Then told by my mum they are struggling to find my present in the right colour, thinking they are struggling with the right colour combination for me.
Old man drives past Bridgend yesterday to get them, as he has found them in the right colour.

Getting excited now, as I can finally go out and ride my bike in the cold and wet with the lovely, er, front and rear paddock stands

I wanted textiles, I even told my mum which ones I wanted and where to get them, I told my girlfriend I wanted a front paddock stand, as I already have a rear.

Still not unhappy, the new ones are better than my old one.

Now on the hunt for textiles.
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[N cee thirty]

tt3d,moneys ,boxers
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'00 Aprilia RS50 > '92 Honda CG > '99 Yamaha Fazer > '91 Yamaha RXS > '79 Suzuki X5 > 01' Honda Cg > 07' Honda Cg > 82' Kawasaki Z200 > suzuki gsxr 400 gk73a > honda vfr 400 NC30 Mod 2 Passed 09/06/2011

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[Raffles]

My grandson is very upset with me at the moment. I could swear that he said he wanted me to get him an egg box for Christmas
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[woll]

Told everybody i didn't want or need anything (did drop a few hints about tools or an rc car) so ended up with a load of tat.
Got a hoody nd some t shirts off've mother. All figgren large or extra large... I'm a skinny bugger and make a small t shirt look like a gazebo. Boxers that are a large, never in a million years fit me. Said they're too big, i got back you'll grow into them i haven't put weight on for years, just lost it after my crash. Pair of jeans of dad that might as well be 3/4 length, and a bottle of jd. I would of been happy with the JD a few years ago but i friggen hate the stuff now.
Only half decent thing i got was a 2012 diary
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Current Bike- Suzuki DRZ400 SM K6
Previous bikes - Derbi Senda Xtreme50r, Honda CBR 125, Kawasaki ZZR 250, Yamaha DT125R, Suzuki Bandit 600, Gas gas ec 250, Honda CBR600FW
Damaged spleen, damaged kindey, 2 popped lungs, 2 broken ribs, broken face, broken wrist and 5 back fractures... remember kids walls hurt

[-LG-]

[woll]

Ay now, less of that.
I was on about the waist size Should of known that'd get said.
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Current Bike- Suzuki DRZ400 SM K6
Previous bikes - Derbi Senda Xtreme50r, Honda CBR 125, Kawasaki ZZR 250, Yamaha DT125R, Suzuki Bandit 600, Gas gas ec 250, Honda CBR600FW
Damaged spleen, damaged kindey, 2 popped lungs, 2 broken ribs, broken face, broken wrist and 5 back fractures... remember kids walls hurt

[Rogerborg]

Hahah, single malts, merino underwear, Salty Seamen books, helmet cam, and Science bless La Senza for their anti-gravity undergarments. I win.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
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[Moxey]

No horrible gifts really ( well some from the mentally unhinged relatives of mine i.e. dirty joke book and a blow up doll )

But I did get a fuckload of booze and hadn't informed anyone that I had stopped drinking a year ago would of preferred something more practical but eh thought that counts and all that.
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Current: 02 FZS 1000 & 91 Royal Enfield Bullet 350 Some Bike Pics...
'I was too busy paying attention to pay attention'