Mental illness

[Justpin]

Dear BCF

I have made this account as I want to keep my real persona hidden. I'm a regular on BCF and have been for the past year.

Simply somebody extremely perceptive noticed something wrong with me and performed some psychoanalysis on me (he is a NHS clinical psychologist). I didn't believe it at first but looking back over the past 9 years of my life it makes sense.

I got a diagnosis and was told it was Borderline Personality disorder. I got a second opionion and was told it was BPD, a third opinion and BPD again. I got this diagnosis overseas to prevent it going on my UK medical notes.

For those who don't know this sums it up in a 4 minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iraGmA7-9FA

So what now?

I believe (true or otherwise) that there is a massive social stigma surrounding mental health issues in the UK. As said I want to keep it off my medical notes horrible horrible images of being sectioned and confined for my own safety spring to mind true or not.

Secondly reading about it online professionals who treat this kind of thing tend to think you are a manipulative sack of sheet and are thus unsympathetic and or don't want to deal with you.

I don't self harm like cut myself so this is not an issue.

I can afford to pay for non NHS services.

Its just that most of the time I can keep it hidden and reason around most things. But sometimes I cannot. Today xmas dinner which I went to my parents house and ended up leaving about 2 minutes later after various insults by extended family.



????

[anthony_r6]

First off, the video was very good - very informative - thanks for sharing that one.

As far as your issues go - are you unhappy?
I would consider that the priority - if you're unhappy then you're going to need to do something about it. As far as stigmas go, I can't say I've ever come across it, or had anyone speak bad, or treat someone different who they've known to have some kind of mental disorder.

Even if you go private, surely if medication is one of the ways to relieve the symptoms, then they're going to have to put it down on your medical records?

As for the treatment by professionals, I dunno about that- I mean surely they understand the issue better than most, and if anything would remove any blame of your actions from yourself, especially during treatment?

I don't think there's any real useful advice I can give you. A few of the criteria in that video could very well apply to me, but I don't really feel unhinged or abnormal. As I said, happiness would be priority, if you're unhappy - this may be the root cause and will need addressing.
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[Rogerborg]

My insightful diagnosis is that some professional doom merchants have medicalised the proud British condition of being a bit of an angry nobber, and want to sell you a solution that keeps them and/or their pharmaceutical accomplices in work for the rest of your life.

Get some exercise - a punchbag would be ace. You're welcome.
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[Skudd]

Nutters please make an orderly queue so that you can be lobotomized quickly.
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[Clanger]

I wouldn't worry about the diagnosis per se. It's just another label to put you from one box into another. What should matter in your life is how you feel and how you interact with the world.

If people in your family wind you up unnecessarily, then don't put yourself in the situation where you have to spend time with them again. You are an adult and in charge of your life...you should therefore be able to avoid situations (apart from work ones) where you feel uncomfortable.

Just because family come under the 'family' banner, doesn't mean you have to like them or have to socialise with them. Be pleasant, but just decline spending time with them again. If you are really pushed into explaining why not, then gently say 'you wind me up, you make me feel ****, and I'd rather not put myself in that situation'. But I would just make up a little white lie and keep space between you and all should be sorted out in that respect.

Working with people with Personality disorders, we are taught to be consistent, so if people in your family aren't being consistent it will wind you up and is likely to confuse you - so makes steps to avoid it.

Hope this helps a little?
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[Justpin]

[Justpin]

[Hetzer]

The worst thing anyone can hear in a situation like this is "pull yourself together!"

It can be done, and I've been doing it for the last year. But I have an otherwise ideal situation and I'm not in my teens/twenties looking at a lifetime of suffering to come (I'm 51 and I can get away with not giving much of a fuck anymore).

Reason and will are powerful tools, but if reason is able to see no end in sight and one is at the wrong end of the equation (young) I think I'd be taking a long walk off a short cliff. But until I did DMT I was reasonably sane/healthy. Brain chemistry is a bitch, as are opened doors.

Have you done a bunch of mind-altering drugs? If not it's your brain-chemistry probably. In which case reduce your diet to bare NATURAL essentials and drink only water. Give that a few months to give your chemistry the best possible chance of levelling out (establish any food allergies you might have). TOTALLY eradicate sugar from your diet, and refined wheat/flour too. NATURAL FOOD ONLY. No drugs, smoking, booze etc.

Cut your ego out, don't indulge it or your emotions. That's reason. Step outside of yourself and observe your own behaviour, cold-bloodedly. Make no excuses for yourself. Tolerate weakness in others (their ego having it large on yours).

Finally, always remember you're going to die anyway and none of this matters a shit so long as you do good instead of evil. Don't fall into the trap of believing consciousness dies with the body...it doesn't, so don't fuck your karma up.

None of the above flows very well, I've got a stinking cold and headache and could barely be arsed as it is. But FWIW.
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[Justpin]

[G]

Trying to define 'normal' is hard to start with - actually sit down and look at so many that think they're 'normal' and give the outward appearance of fitting into society live pretty delusional lives.

The words 'mental health' are used as a badge of shame for many, while for some (oft' in the US) they are used as a badge of honour to hide behind.
For me it's all just shades of grey.

Personally, providing I understand and am happy with my differences from the perceived normal, I'm fine.
Of course there's plenty of characteristics I don't like - but understanding you act like this is the first step into changing yourself.

I have been very occasionally known to just walk out if people start getting nasty - I'd prefer to do that than sink to their level, for a start.

Certainly worth understanding the understood mechanics behind your condition and working out likely solutions. Often a lot of it can be easily overcome with self-taught mental conditioning.

[hellkat]

My ex was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder years ago, and yeah - like Rogerborg points out - its really just angry nobber syndrome, everybody knows someone like that.

Sometimes a bit of self-realisation helps. My ex was going constantly off the rails and eventually after several drinking binges too many, he took himself to AA - which he took on board for a year or so, and the time he spent in "insightful contemplation" actually gave him the ability to see himself as others see him.

He's a much more mature person now, still an irritating little bugger, but with a bit more personal groundability. He can still "go into one" in his own self-righteous little way but eventually he stops and sees that he is actually alone (or surrounded by wasters) ... and he re-anchors himself back in reality and learns to live within his self-set boundaries.

Most of us don't need to consciously perceive our boundaries, but it seems that many people with BPD just don't realise they are there.

Take yourself off and have a good look at yourself and how you relate to the world around you. It IS good that you have a job, if you can hold that down, you're halfway towards a positive self-image.


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[thegubner]

I hate threads like this as I see much of myself in a lot of posts, why the hell I read them I don't know.

That is all.

[WildGoose]

Based on that video, I just diagnosed myself with BPD. Which is the biggest problem with mental health stuff. Labels.

I posted something similar a while back, was in a pretty dark and horrible place, and I used to visit it often. Though haven't for a while.

https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=213202&highlight=mental+health

Three options. Basically.

1) Get medicated. Officially or unofficially.

2) Go and talk to a head doctor person, therapist or counsellor.

3) Read about it, and/or do nothing. Try and work some answers out for yourself. If you are easily influenced by what you read, and struggle to form your own opinions, or want a quick result. Then reading too much can be as damaging (or more than) as reading nothing. It's easy to convince yourself of having any number of things wrong with you, especially mental conditions.

Be very fucking careful with "self help" books, they have a wealth of problems all their own, and can become an addiction all their very own. A lot of it is pure shit. Just remember, if there was one simple answer, there would only be a single book, and the motivator behind most of them, is to make money for the author, so he can retire and take himself out of the shit of the reality of his own life. Avoid anything with "millions of copies sold" testimonies, or a big picture of the smug authors face anywhere inside or on the cover.

The third option is the only free or relatively cheap one. I haven't done either of the others.

I am still typical and embarressingly British when it comes to going to see someone to talk about mental issues. It feels too much like failure than I think I could take, and i'm not sure I would be able to be honest as a result. There is some irony in there somewhere.

Getting more exercise helps, even though I was dead against that idea, it's not a solution to the problems, but I did it, and it does release those endorphin things, which help to lighten the black moods whether you want them to or not. It just takes the edge off, and I promise you, if you do it properly, it will help a little, sometimes it helps a lot.

I have no other answers yet.
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[mistergixer]

[Hetzer]

[mistergixer]

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[Hetzer]

I experienced the death of my ego, and then trying to function in this reality without it. It can't be done, not in any sense that allows life here to be meaningful. Zero ego = insanity. Finding the balance-point between reduced ego and insanity, that's a whole fucking ballgame in its own right.

There's a handy trick for beating it though, and that's to make the pleasure of others the pleasure of your ego. But you have to hide it. Which enhances the pleasure if you can twist yourself like a fucking pretzel, while warding off the insanity with a wand.

A 'healthy' ego is one that is able to recognize its own puny insignificance. To feed it without engendering obesity, and prevent that very realisation from becoming a saturated fat.

Blah.
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[R6 Wilson]

Mental illness is a scary word

After being taught about just about everything there is to know about mental illness off my mate who is a mental health nurse for NHS, it appears you're a minority if you don't have some kind of mental illness no one is completely normal, we all have slight disorders, most commonly personality/anxiety disorders. Rather than worry about it the only way to cope is accept it and live with it.
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[Torx]

If you go through NHS or doctors you'll be prescribed medication for the rest of your life. Somebody I know has the same issue.
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[Andy_Pagin]

[Rogerborg]

Actually, if you're properly flush, get yourself checked into the local Priory. You don't get the stigma of being nuts and poor, it's practically a rite of passage for reality telly celebs and trophy wives. Plus there's always loads of anorexics with low self esteem in there, you can pretty much have your pick if you tell them that you like chunky women.
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[Robby]

Self diagnosis of mental disorders is a dangerous game, particularly if you just read about one disorder and decide you fit it - read all of the associated disorders too, to see if you fit one. That said, the black and white nature of BPD decision making does make it difficult to change your mind once you decide that you have it.

See a decent shrink. It's very expensive, and you won't get a decent one using the NHS. You'll see a counsellor, which for many disorders will do more harm than good - counsellors break down barriers, the problem is that for many people those barriers are the only thing providing a semblance on sanity. A good shrink can advise on whether counselling is a good option.

Keeping it off your medical records is difficult. You're unlikely to get to a shrink, even a private one, without a referral from your GP. For ongoing medication you really don't want to be paying private prescription rates, particularly if the medication is something slightly exotic. The bonus is that a private shrink will be more inclined to prescribe something off-label, then the GP will continue to prescribe it through NHS. Private shrink's risk, their malpractice insurance, cheap drugs for you. I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up on Lamotrigine, officially an anti-epilespy drug that is used off-label to treat a wide range of mental health problems. If you do, don't come off it suddenly, withdrawal is savage and potentially very dangerous. Flickering lights will fuck you up as well.

I wouldn't worry too much about the medical history, the only time you're likely to have to divulge it is when applying for life insurance. Treated BPD isn't a biggie for them, so you're unlikely to get refused.

Remember, this is a mental disorder not a mental illness. Illnesses can be fixed, disorders can only be managed but are a lifelong condition.

[unitynotsocri...]

Borderline insanity for trusting the NHS ....FOOL!!!!!!check out the DSM categories of mental ilness,borderline bollocks........after 30 odd years of complaing to my doctoer about,severere chronic leg pains,insomnia,reactions to food and skin sensitivity......IM VERY LUCKY as my cognitive shrink said.'your very lucky they did'nt misdiagnose you as 'Bi polar''borderline shizoid','non specific personality disorder'(my favourite,one for us all?)etc......

unless your seeing things or hearing things that are not there and still managing to eat shit sleep and fuck without expressing any violence to people in your community ,I would'nt worry.

if your taking nhs medications,other than pile cream and paracetomol then WORRY.NHS drugs just fuck up you natural happy hormones,many of their drugs were 'tested' and 'trialled' on lifers in american prisons,like seroxat.

Yeah as previous poster says...Self diagnosis is a dangerous game'but whats more fucking dangerous is letting some o level wonder make that 'diagnosis ' for you.THE NHS IS SHIT.THE NHS IS SHIT,THE NHS IS SHIT........try repeating that 3 times a day for a month while studying the origins of the DSM mental health classification system,you'll soon have more self knowledge and understanding.
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