Rivers of poo

[Ariel Badger]

Track the progress of your log Mine traveled 8.4 miles at a top speed of 4.85 mph. I do not think it is over accurate though as last time I tried it my plop took a different route and this time it deposited it in the middle of a traffic roundabout half a mile from the sewage works in the style of Covdude.
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[Marmalade]

Poo tracker is shit.

Mine apparently is heading off down the road in the direction of Salisbury when I know for a fact it's in the back garden where it will stay until the truck comes and sucks up all the shit from the cesspit and takes it away.
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[ajbsmirnoff]

My poo appears to be somewhere in Paris, and moving slowly.

Perhaps i need more roughage.

[Ariel Badger]

[Werny]

If someone had told me 15 or 20 years ago that in 2012 I'd be able to use a home computer to track the progress of my poo in the sewer system, I'd probably have thought it about the most absurd thing ever.

Progress is an amazing thing

[doggone]

It says mine ran up a steep hill to the village, jumped in someone else's shitter (apparently) and is now sailing down the river after negotiating the village settlement tanks etc all in 10 minutes.

Quite a feat since I thought it was trapped in a tank at the bottom of the garden.
I think they make it up

[Paulington]

As far as I know it just takes your postcode and figures out the quickest-type route through the local sewer system. The Water Board have told them where the sewers are apparently.

As far as I know it's working pretty well for the one I've tried, will always be mistakes though, they can't account for everything.

Still, it's pretty awesome. !
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[Suntan Sid]

Bleedin' 'ell, this is soooo last year, well actually sooo 1995!
I was using similar software, for sewer modelling, 17 years ago!

Where there's muck, there's brass, as they say!
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[pinkyfloyd]

Hypothetically the Queens shite that she dropped 10 minutes ago is traceable.

https://flushtracker.com/index.php?page=start&v=3&ln=uk&x=38&y=30#trackid=gjJTyR9Y4x

Apparently at the time of posting the Royal Shite is heading beneath the Thames.
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Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[kerr]

[Easter Bunny]

I modelled mine with a pointed nose cone before I flush and it reached 15mph!!!
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[bazza]

Came for references to Boney M revival.

Leaving disappointed.
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[ajbsmirnoff]

My poo leads a cooler life then me. So be it, it deserves it.

I'm wondering how Domestos are going to leverage this into sales.

"Your poo hung a minger around Parliament Square, buy some bleach"

Fun though.

[Kwaks]

Looks like mine got lost down at the roundabout, double backed on its self a few times, but now heading up the motorway, I expect it to take the junction A876 to falkirk, I'm sure Stirling folk would object if my deposits commuted through their gardens.

edit:Falkirk bound, those feckers will take anything thats free
edit: another spot of zig zagging over the space of a mile just to pass its original route by metres,now heading a different direction, suspect it has fallen in with some bad ones coming down from the north
edit: ended up going through falkirk centre to head for a sewage works just to the east. However it stopped just at the roundabout outside the works, I may have to give them a call to warn them of this apparent blockage or the east of falkirk easter egg hunts might get messy, in addition I want my deposit to reach its intended destiny.
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Fallen Angel "Nae sniffing my seat now!!!!! "
www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!!

[hellkat]

On the subject of blockage, I just sent a load of defrosted spaghetti (with sauce) down and despite being completely defrosted, it blocked the loo.

I can honestly say I have NEVER had to use the loo brush to disperse my turds (possibly this is a shameful admission in present company) ... but now my loo brush is a peculiar shade of reddish orange where I had to poke about in there.

I don't think it will come out, cos its a one of those "if you drop some on your clothes, stains them from too much olive oil and tomato puree" sort of sauce.

Possibly I should have flushed it a few more times between the spaghetti and sauce, and the contents of the jar of chunky home made vegetable soup

Its prolly out at Tilbury by now, strangling flounders in the Thames Estuary.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[andyscooter]

mine has gone in two directions

one went one way and tried again later and it went somwere else
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[Kwaks]

@Hellcat

Of course the staining from your "spaghetti (with sauce) " will come out the brush, its not as if the bristled are made of cotton, or are talking about your "spaghetti (with sauce) " that has previously stained your PVC garments
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Fallen Angel "Nae sniffing my seat now!!!!! "
www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!!

[Conon]

I'm in line for the furthest travelled shite award. Apparently its now gone 80 miles and is halfway to its destination, which thankfully looks like being somewhere in Englandshire. Enjoy!

https://www.flushtracker.com/index.php?page=start&trackid=vLTeCPSe7K&ln=en

[hellkat]

[Ariel Badger]

[Conon]

No, the e-mail said it was halfway to its destination. In reality, its about 10 yards away from where i'm sitting. I may be able to get a piccie if you like!

[Ariel Badger]

[Tenko]

Mine defaults to Poland. I can only think its because of the 'gadansk' noise it makes as it hits the water....