Women as usual

The Disapproving Brit · World Chat Champion Joined: 10 Sep 2008 Karma :

Started dating a girl about a month ago - she lives in Bradford, I'm in stoke so although I can get up to her easy enough, it's enough distance that we aren't just going to be 'popping round' because we're bored. So, I've been up to her the last two weekends, have train tickets booked to go again this weekend, and we've bought (but not yet booked) a camping weekend on Groupon just cos it was only £20. She also invited me on holiday with her in August - only to Pontins with her little girl, but that's actually just the kind of thing I'd enjoy and I really appreciated the gesture, especially since her daughter is awesome.

Anyway, last night I got this off her out of the blue:

Clanger · Stirrer Joined: 27 May 2004 Karma :

She's told you in a text that she doesn't want it to go any further, and yet you are still thinking ahead to the plans you've made together...

It's a gutless move sending you a text. The least she could do is discuss it in person and properly. But that said...it's only been a month... I'd be inclined to do as she said and leave her life, and move on with your life.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

recman · World Chat Champion Joined: 26 Mar 2012 Karma :

Too much baggage, I'd pass and keep looking.
Might sound harsh but I have a good friend who's being strung along by a married woman.
She's just getting him to spend money on her but he's to blind to see it.
Its frustrating to see on of your mates get mugged off by a gold digging bitch.

tbourner · World Chat Champion Joined: 17 Mar 2012 Karma :

Yeah sounds like you need to assume it's over, and just carry on. If you're still in touch and she says to come over/meet up then go for it, but otherwise just move on and don't go chasing.
I know someone in the other position, with a guy for 8 years, got married with a 2 year old kid. They split up after a year married. She's been with a couple of blokes since, mostly nobbers, but still brings up the ex quite a lot, saying things like she made a mistake and realises what a great guy he was - she doesn't want to get back together with him but even after 10 months it's still in her mind and she has trouble 'being' with anyone else seriously. If this girl likes you and you're not a nobber, I'd think she's not trying to get rid but really IS just needing some time - up to you if you're willing to wait for/support her I suppose?
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Trev, now a biker?
Looking for first big bike.

Clanger · Stirrer Joined: 27 May 2004 Karma :

Rogerborg · nimbA Joined: 26 Oct 2010 Karma :

yambabe · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

She doesn't fancy you and she's trying to finish with you nicely by saying "it's not you, it's me".

Wish her all the best and get on with your life, she doesn't want you and you don't need her.
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Sod falling in love, I wanna fall in chocolate. Very Happy

The Disapproving Brit · World Chat Champion Joined: 10 Sep 2008 Karma :

recman · World Chat Champion Joined: 26 Mar 2012 Karma :

tbourner · World Chat Champion Joined: 17 Mar 2012 Karma :

Seriously, people get lonely after ending long relationships, but then when with someone else it screws with their head. I don't think she's ending it with you, but she is taking the piss by basically asking you to wait until she's sorted.
Just be honest and say you like her and will support her whilst she gets her head in shape, but you won't wait forever.
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Trev, now a biker?
Looking for first big bike.

Tenko · Could Be A Chat Bot Joined: 09 Jul 2011 Karma :

YamBabe is on the money with this one....

JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

I think the fact you have only been with her for a month pretty much has curtains written all over it.
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zaknafien · Joined: 25 Mar 2002 Karma :

miss.metallica · Scooby Slapper Joined: 06 Mar 2012 Karma :

I wish my gender would sort itself out. This woman clearly doesnt know whether shes comin or goin. Like a bloody buckaroo. She shouldve made sure she was over her ex before even considering getting involved with you.

Unlike Loreal, she's not worth it.

Stonefly · Scooby Slapper Joined: 17 Jul 2011 Karma :

What she said ^
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waffles · World Chat Champion Joined: 04 Oct 2009 Karma :

Yup, move on and find someone without that kind of baggage who won't mess you around like that. It sounds like she doesn't want to hurt your feelings but is just stringing you along instead.
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The Disapproving Brit · World Chat Champion Joined: 10 Sep 2008 Karma :

Well, whether it's a sad reflection on society at large or not, it appears I have an answer. I logged into Facebook tonight and noticed my status was "in a relationship" rather than "in a relationship with...". Also, she's no longer in my friend list, and when I type her name, she appears in the autocomplete list, but gives page not found when you click her - which happens if you're blocked, but not if someone deletes their profile - a deleted profile just doesn't show in the autocomplete list.

So now I know where i stand. Honestly would have been nice, but hey, i got the message i guess.
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Fowlersrs · World Chat Champion Joined: 30 Mar 2012 Karma :

Sload · World Chat Champion Joined: 28 Aug 2011 Karma :

Get over it, move on, and ffs dont become a stalker Thumbs Up

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Redoko · World Chat Champion Joined: 04 Nov 2009 Karma :

Just a month bro, relax.
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janner_10 · World Chat Champion Joined: 26 Sep 2011 Karma :

After a couple of weekends together, she isn't that into you. Move on.
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kerr · World Chat Champion Joined: 08 May 2011 Karma :

alexknight200... · Crazy Courier Joined: 05 May 2012 Karma :

Two needy for me, will only get harder.

You need to consider upping the anchors now.

Best of luck,

Alex

shazza65 · Nitrous Nuisance Joined: 13 Apr 2012 Karma :

Timbstoke, it is clear that you really need to be talking about this issue with young lady.

Getting others to discuss it is a risky move because it will sway you in and out of different directions yourself and just confuse and cloud the issue.

Talk to the poor lassie if you are willing to help. Karma

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The Disapproving Brit · World Chat Champion Joined: 10 Sep 2008 Karma :

yeah...tried that. The response I got was "I didn't expect out of the blue to get hit with a ton of emotions and questions about me, my daughter, my husband, us, the future, I just want to spend time with my girl without worrying about how I plan my weekends"

Fuck it, I'm too old for this shit.
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Current Bikes: 1983 Honda VF400FD / 2003 Honda VT750 Shadow
Bike Test Passed 18/03/09, Car Test Passed 14/05/13