Cures for a cold / flu?

[garth]

Ok, so I've been in bed now for three days feeling like I've been hit by an aids train.

Symptoms: Painful eyes, snot, sore throat, phlegm, cough, aches.

Lemsips do fuck all. Sudafed does fuck all.

Anyone got any remedies before I drop off the planet?

N.B. Girls - this is man flu. You'll never experience it, and it is that bad. Worse than childbirth.
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[Fisty]

Sleep, fap, jack daniels.

Repeat till well again.
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[Skudd]

Death, I died last year from my man flu. Worked a treat.
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[Rogerborg]

Vitamin C and zinc. They'll help with the fapping.
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[t121anf]

just MTFU its only a cold and there is no reason to alter any part of your life whilst you have one.

the only cure is your immune system

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Jam an index finger into your ear...wiggle then lick.
If you can taste the zest then paramedics are not needed.
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[garth]

[Tenko]

Run some hot water into a bowl, put loads of Olbas Oil into it, drape a towel over your head and inhale until it goes cool. Then get somebody to buy you a stack of extra strong mints (other mint-flavoured confectionary is available...) and chomp your way through those until the virus cries surrender.

There isn't a disease on the planet that cannot be aleviated by stuffing ones 'boat' with mints...

[hellkat]

Bung a glass of shiraz into a saucepan, fire in a cinnamon stick (or half a teaspoon of cinnamon if you're not posh), a bay leaf, a clove and a teaspoonful of white sugar.

Bring it gently to the boil and when it starts to boil, turn it off and leave it to cool.

Drink whilst still warm (in a mug or a tumbler, not a wineglass).

Don't take any flu remedies in the 4 hours beforehand.
In fact, don't *EVAR* drink and do flu drugs (/mum)

Go to sleep and sleep it off.
Wake up ... feeling better.

(you might sweat a bit, but that's a good thing)
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[garth]

Brilliant, ask for advice and get HK trying to ply me with drink and make me sweat.


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[hmmmnz]

pant loads of vitamin c, and loads of garlic,
fluro wee ftw
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[MarJay]

Madras or Vindaloo. Stat.
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[Marcg868]

Just live with it, as i have Manflu at the moment also. Started Monday and is more or less run its course. I just drunk lots of water and took Paracetamol for the bloody awful fever, shaking like a shitting dog

Wasn't allowed to go to work Monday and Tuesday as we have some really poorly residents in our Nursing home at the moment. I don't think one of them who has a Tracheostomy would appreciate me passing on my bugs to him.
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[Alpha-9]

Weed and +1 for faps, clears a blocked nose I find
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[Poseidon]

I'm with marjay. Eat the hottest spiciest things you can find. I put certain death hot sauce on every meal, including my breakfast and I got over the same cold in two days that took my wife and son over a week to clear!

Failing that, I have an ample supply of 30/500 co-codamol in the cupboard. Two of those pretty much stop you caring about most things! (on a more serious note, a couple of paracetemol can bring your temp down if you're feeling feverish)
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[chris-red]

I've always found a hot bath sorts me out.
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[Dilyan]

Hot toddy almost always works for me
50ml Jack, spoonfull of clear honey, slice of lemon, top it up with hot water in a mug. Wrap up to sweat like the dogs bollocks in the Sahara desert and you wake up a newborn.
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[Marcg868]

The sweating is the worst bit for me. I have Hyperthyroidism and have sweating palpitations when I'm fully fit, so its even worse when i have manflu. I felt more comfortable in Greece when it was the height of summer.
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[Andy_Pagin]

Can of Tennants Super and a roll-up, If you're feeling shit you may as well feel really really shit. Worked for me last week anyway.
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[scorps]

what is this flu shite? i eat lots and lots of garlic so never really suffer from colds. I did get pneumonia a couple of years back through being nails/stupid and not going to the doctor when a chest infection got seriously bad
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[Wave2k]

Rest rest rest
water water water


Oh and Jerking off is actually good for you, give your immune system a bit of a boost when it releases all those feel good chemicals
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[Alpha-9]

[Sako]

sweating is the best way to clear your system, drink absolutely loads of water and have plenty of hot baths/showers and wear a tshirt and socks in bed, you will sweat it out quicker, athough a cold or flu does just have to be ridden out.

[andyscooter]

get drunk

alcohol dehydrates you

your nose cant run if you are dehydrated

cold goes away

seems to work for me anyway

red wine seems best for it
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