A question of morals...

[andym]

I'm not one to lie (much).... but I'm just about to get off my arse and start looking for a job, which involves me updating my CV.

Now a couple of years ago someone asked me what qualifications I got from school, I went to some of the exams but didn't bother finding out the results, so I was curious to find out what grades I did get.... I called the school and asked them, they directed me to somewhere else who then directed me to somewhere else and it turns out all the records were destroyed in a fire in '95.

NOW, should I just continue to say that I didn't have any qualifications from school or should I give myself some semi-decent grades knowing that they can't check?

[Derivative]

What level of schooling do you have?

I don't tend to include GCSE's on my CV, frankly I'm not sure that it's relevant what grade you got in History at age 16. It also takes up room, if you make the text too small or the document longer than 1 page noone will read it.

If you're asked on an application form, sure, otherwise I'd just say that you have a pass in the relevant stuff like Maths/English and tell the honest truth if they ask you about anything else.

I'm in my early 20's and even I can't remember what grades I got for anything before A-level.

[yambabe]

[Derivative]

[hellkat]

I get really annoyed when you are filling out online application forms and it gives you those fields that you HAVE to fill in, and it asks for school qualifications.

The fact that some 34 years ago I managed to acquire the NZ equivalent of 4 O levels and 2 A levels with grades ranging between A+ and B adds absolutely nothing relevant to my current CV.

As I have no formal tertiary qualifications, the top of my CV/application forms tend to look a little empty ...
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Benno]

I can't even remember my A levels and I'm only 21. I hope I still have the certificates because I have to show them for my AOSB main board (god I hope I remembered my grades correctly on the CV I sent them )

With CV's, the best way to do it is NOT to lie, rather to write it well. Be fluent, use good grammar, use good descriptions, and slightly embellish everything your write about. Not to the extent that it becomes unbelievable, but to make it sound as though you learned and experienced a great deal more than, for example, a simple "knot tying course" would teach.

This "knot tying course" may in fact have had the potential to teach you:

- Working as part of a team
- Team cohesion/getting along with a wide variety of people (split this into two separate points perhaps)
- Recognising the differing individual skills of a team and applying them to tasks they would individually be most efficient at
- Coordinating a team effort to complete a task effectively
- Applying theoretically acquired knowledge to a practical use in the field

All this from the three words "knot tying course". There's a lot to write about if you just think about it! And none of it has to be untrue if you know how to do it.

YES, it is a good idea to use such terminology as I wrote above. It makes you look more intelligent! Don't overdo it though, for obvious reasons (try using a thesaurus on every word you write and see why...)

Here are the five points in more simple terms (better to use the terms above):
- Teamwork
- Being friendly
- Getting people to do what they're good at
- Bossing people around
- Knowing what to do coz they teached me

[GhostRider]

Lie your fucking arse off, honesty will get you no where in the cut-throat industry that is getting a job, so long as you can back whatever you're saying with a convincing tale, or at least make it look believable then chances are you won't be asked to prove it unless it's directly relevant to your job, and even then maybe not, I never had to a produce a degree certificate in my job, for all they know I just brushed up on some fancy jargon beforehand and bluffed it - either way what have you got to lose? You be honest and don't get an interview or you, ahem, embellish a little, get an interview, and worst case scenario they offer you the job and ask for your papers, whoops can't produce them, so you can't get the job that you wasn't going to get anyway? Only good things can come out of it really.

GhostRider
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[Benno]

[KDub]

+1 to bluffing. I managed to convince my brother I knew something about Opera music by dropping in a few choice jargon words. He studies music composition, so it does work.

The whole plan comes undone when you get asked a question when you really know sweet Fanny Adams about the given subject.

[pendulum]

To be perfectly honest, I'd lie my arse off if I were you...

Saying you did well at school gives a better impression than revealing you failed badly, and after all this time, plus the fire, they will not have the desire or the ability to be able to check.

You'd be stupid not to.
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1998 CG125 (Sold) CB500 [+ Clio 172]
Usually_Wrong: I tend to fail more than pass. [Speaking about Theory Practice]
Usually_Wrong: im on unemployment at the moment

[andym]

All very good points... but the thing is I've checked, there are no records.... I'm not saying I'm thick (well actually I am), I hope I come across in interviews as not being a total retard (which I probably do), but the whole point is... English and maths are a BIIIIG thing for any job these days, so if I can't find out how I done and they are MY records.... how can a company find out?

Not that it's important, it would just be another section I could fill in with a bit more info than 'none'

At the moment I don't even know what kind of job to go for, I only found out recently I can't go back to driving buses for the next 10 years, so a career change is needed.... and if anyone has advice on that one I'd love to hear it... List of shit I've done on request

[Derivative]

[WannaBeDude]

I'll compose a grand cv for you if you stFu.

Paddy irony I know ...
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Jogging on, destination living.

[ninja_butler]

Who gets the job? The guy who tells the biggest porkies, that's who! Business is business and in business honesty is for losers. LIE! Don't push it too far and claim to have a whole string of A-levels, but a few A's and a couple of B's will be believable.

[ninja_butler]

[pendulum]

Most of the stuff I learnt in GCSE maths (trigonometry, algebra etc) has long since been forgotten. I wouldn't have a bloody clue now. I can still add up, take away, multiply and divide because that's about all you need to do in the real world. Most people will have forgotten what they learnt in school 10+ years ago, so you probably know just as much now as someone who did pass the exams anyway.
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1998 CG125 (Sold) CB500 [+ Clio 172]
Usually_Wrong: I tend to fail more than pass. [Speaking about Theory Practice]
Usually_Wrong: im on unemployment at the moment

[Resurrection]

Destroyed in a fire? Is that the schools records rather than the examining body? I used to work for an exam board (edexcel), and they had records going back quite a way. They clearly don't check as I embelished the truth to get a job with them and they can't of checked!
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ZX9r

[bazza]

Given that most, if not all, employers happily lie their arses off to you regarding pay, prospects, training, hours etc. it'd be almost rude not to reciprocate.
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"That's it. You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college."
'98 Ducati 750SS, '08 Suzuki GSX650F ©2004-2014, Bazza's Harmless Banter

[andym]

[Derivative]

[Pie-Roe]

Gsces count for shit all with the amount of graduates nowadays anyway.

I have and will lie again on my CV. It's pretty difficult to lie in my trade about things relating to experience, as it's fairly incestuous. However after a few years you can mostly say what you like about where you worked in catering as noone stays in the same jobs.

I applied for a couple of jobs about 8 months ago, making up that I had a 2:2 from a mid level university on the other side of the country. Got one telephone interview and a couple asking me when I was free. I also applied for a couple of very similar jobs with a real CV and got a face to face interview.
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[DrDonnyBrago]

Lie

Lie

Lie

Then lie some more.

[Tenko]

If you are sure the records won't turn up anywhere (hard to be given the computer age we live in) then it won't do any harm to say you got decent grades but can't produce the Certificates as they were 'lost in a house move...'

TBH whenever I've interviewed people I have an idea of who I don't want within seconds, and who I do in a matter of minutes irrespective of CV.

Make sure you put something on the CV to show that you are capable of seeing something through. It'll be what most employers are looking for and is more important than the usual 'reading, cooking, going to the cinema' bollocks...

Don't chew gum.

[mistergixer]

I've never been asked to produce any certificates for any job I've ever had.


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Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
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