2 "nearly deaded" moments today......

[CaNsA]

1.
On the motorway heading to work.
Pissing rain, trying out a new lid too.

I get confused as to what lane is called what so from left to right 1,2,3.

I'm in 3 following a bmw, not up his arse, we are rolling @ 85ish
Up ahead i see a blue car join the motorway and swing straight into 2 behind a wagon.
Blue car is going 1mph faster than this wagon.
I get level with the blue car, slightly ahead of the driver.
Blue car decides she wants to overtake the wagon (1mph faster ....) and just moves into 3 with indicating or even looking.
I hit the horn and she looks at me but keeps coming over into 3.
I hit the horn again, by this time I am on the rumble strip that separates the tarmac from the central grass reservation, she slows down but keeps coming and is 90% in 3.
Down a cog and pin it.

She finally overtakes this wagon, longest overtake in history, then moves into 1 and slows right down.

Get to work not deaded, new lid is gonna take a bit of getting used to.

2.
Some bint, who was behind me on the right, decides she is gonna push me out the way so she can merge from the right (a 2>1 lane) even though i slow down I end up with my elbow on the bus to my left.

I filtered past her, she is now minus one wing mirror.

Get home, not deaded.


ffs
/rant

Now where's my CSB?



Edited for a spelling fuckup

[duhawkz]

https://www.thecrimsonshaft.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/363-bruce-willis-cool-story-bro-image.png
____________________
"The guy is a worthless cunt and I honestly believe I would be a slightly happier person if he died." - Chris-Red

[sgtcalle]

same nearly happened to me today, some dozy bint changed lanes on me, nearly forced me off the road, had to pin it to get out of there. seems to be happening alot recently!
____________________
CBR600F '02
Manchester

[Acemastr]

Sometimes you just have one of 'those' days, I tend to park up as soon as I can and not ride when I have them
____________________
2017 KTM 350 XC-F - 2014 Yamaha R6 - 2005 Yamaha YZ125
2016 Toyota Tacoma Limited

[billytwomirro...]

Same hear but i missed the mirror.

[rac3r]

On a day like that you need

https://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n102/la_ds_lover23k/Batmansbikealone.jpg
____________________
Bikes : 2006 CBR125R - 2004 Monster 620ie - 2004 ZX-6R B1H - 2005 Monster S2R 800 - 2011 Street Triple - 2009 Streetfighter 1098 - 2014 ZX-6R 636

[Benno]

[Alex_B]

Coming home tonight I get some woman pull out on me, Spidey sense had already kicked in so I wasn't in any real danger (thankfully) but I hit the hooter button, just to let her know.

I got 'the wave' I fu*king hate 'the wave'

Anyway, get alongside at the lights and tap her window, I tell her not to fob me off with 'the wave' she says sorry and I just tell her to use her eyes next time, could save a life, again she says sorry.


Job done I reckon, it just might make her think next time

Can I get a brool story co as well?
____________________
My Lane Position is always AWESOME!!

[cornish]

https://narwhaler.com/img/u2/a/cool-story-bro-spiderman-u2au4c.jpg


found a spiderman one
____________________
smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[Rebel]

[Alex_B]

That's awesome Cornish.

I have felt the need to do that Rebel, I guess we all have, but I just know I'd be the one that gets done by Plod!!
____________________
My Lane Position is always AWESOME!!

[Redoko]

[carlosthejack...]

Mine was coming home last night, making "brisk" progress, when line of about 4 cars a way in front of me start hitting brakes, lights flashing on and off. I realise that they're slowing at a pace, so I'm on the anchors, back end squirming, but manage to haul it up safely, but confused as to why we're slowing so far away from traffic lights (200 yards, and on red) and there's no side junctions on this stretch. So a gap appears and I zip past, to find the prick at the front of this small queue in his maroon (I laughed at that) VW Passat, fucking texting while just rolling along very slowly. What an utter cunt, engrossed in his phone and not caring that he was causing chaos behind him. I really do detest people sometimes...
____________________
Responsibility. It's a difficult reality for some. I'm running the 2014 Sheffield Half Marathon on behalf of Bluebell Wood Childrens Hospice. Please sponsor me, even if it's just a quid.
DonnyBrago: "I think you may be confusing rain and napalm..." Paulington: "It's not what you ride, it's how you ride it."
Current rides: '05 VFR800 VTEC, '57 Mondeo 1.8 TDCi #58LEGEND

[Rogerborg]

Eh, 'tis the season. I had one today, I'd like to say that it was some bint, but it was some bloke in one of those big Volvo "4x4" things which you totally need when going off roading in the Sainsbury's car park.

Borg scanners detected him eye-raping some pre-teen totty wile approaching a roundabout, and since all Volvo drivers are paedophiles, I fully expected him to not see me and just cut me up. In the event, a bit of lane-sharing, a cheery wave, and we got on with our respective days.
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[UrbanRacer]

Sometimes you come across really aggressive drivers, ones that refuse to let off the throttle and it sounds like the woman in the blue car was one of these types who continued with her manoeuvre expecting you to be the one to move over or slow down and you did.

What you need to do is fight aggression with aggression, like me. I just wont budge until I'm under the wheels of a car or I end up in a smash.
In my old car I didn't give a f**k and would quite happily have wrote it off to make a point and several times it came close with knobs trying to force into my lane on the mway or cut me up on some other road.

Next time your on the bike and it happens leave them with a long lasting impression, with your boot in the door or take a mirror as a memento.

[scorps]

my other half is not a peado and he drives a volvo, and just to headfuck people a bit more im letting him have a think bike sticker for the rear window
____________________
Do not presume that I am male.

[cornish]

After experiencing this kind of fucktardary on a daily basis i have found my tolerance of it has got lower not higher over the years. Well done Alex_B for keeping your temper so well.

Personally i think that once someone's passed their bike test it should be legal for them to carry a tazer or one of those horn things that makes people shit themselves. That way dangerous wankers will be easily recognised within society because they have a smoldering perm/are carrying a trouser load
____________________
smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[Fifteen15]

Am I the only person thinking the OP is a dick for smashing her mirror off?

[cornish]

[CaNsA]

[herulach]

I have to say it does seem to be that time of month - some stupid cow in a ford Ka tried to undertake me today (my own daft fault, for leaving her room I suppose, but in my defence, it is a 2 lane road thats about 4 lanes wide)

Think she bricked it a little bit when I tapped on her window at the next set of lights - funnily enough she didn't want to chat.

That being said, muppety lane changers on the motorway are generally pretty easy to spot and clear out of the way of. In the car I'll quite happily hold the position, but its really not worth it on the bike.
____________________
YBR 125>FZS600

[Rogerborg]

[P.addy]

[carlosthejack...]

Had it again on my way home tonight. Idiotic woman turning right and pulling out from the left across a bus lane and my lane into the traffic on the right heading towards me. She's so fixated on the gap that she's waiting for she's completely ignoring the fact that I'm heading into the space she's going to occupy just as I arrive. She pulls out, I'm on the brakes, but glad I'd managed to second guess the bitch and roll off before she moved out. Thumb on horn causes terrified look at me and she's almost jumping out of her seat wondering where I've appeared from. I would've kicked her door but I couldn't reach...
____________________
Responsibility. It's a difficult reality for some. I'm running the 2014 Sheffield Half Marathon on behalf of Bluebell Wood Childrens Hospice. Please sponsor me, even if it's just a quid.
DonnyBrago: "I think you may be confusing rain and napalm..." Paulington: "It's not what you ride, it's how you ride it."
Current rides: '05 VFR800 VTEC, '57 Mondeo 1.8 TDCi #58LEGEND

[pendulum]