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Elf 'n Safety Innit?

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Won't someone think of the elves?
Take my own advice and do a shopping spree the next time I get petrol there
23%
 23%  [ 21 ]
Take my lid off next time and phonecam the encounter for elfansafety/policy/youtubery reasons
15%
 15%  [ 14 ]
Something else
29%
 29%  [ 26 ]
Grow the fuck up
31%
 31%  [ 28 ]
Total Votes : 89

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bazza
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PostPosted: 13:42 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Elf 'n Safety Innit? Reply with quote

"You have to take your helmet off."

"I'm just paying for petrol. Here's your tenner."

"Didn't you see the sign?"

"No, I came here to pay for my petrol, not admire the scenery. Here's your tenner."

"You have to take your helmet off first."

"Why? Just take the money."

"It's Elf 'n Safety, innit."

"Mate, I'm wearing about £600 worth of personal protection equipment and you're wearing a grubby shirt."

"Well it's policy, innit."

"What policy?"

"In case it all kicks off in here, it's the CCTV."

"Does it often kick off in here then?"

"I'm not going to argue. You have to take it off next time or I won't serve you."


So he finally took my payment and I left to carry on to work. I'm left with a bit of a quandary now, as per the poll.
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Kris
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PostPosted: 13:47 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

As if an armed robber will be stopped by a sign...

Grrrrrr Mad
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G
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PostPosted: 13:51 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

As ever - wear a burqa under your lid next time.

Take off helmet.
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map
Mr Calendar



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PostPosted: 13:53 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Re: Elf 'n Safety Innit? Reply with quote

bazza wrote:
..."It's Elf 'n Safety, innit."...

To borrow from Rogerborg's mantra, ask what statute he's citing then Very Happy

Surely it's safer to wear a helmet than not Wink

G wrote:
As ever - wear a burqa under your lid next time.
Take off helmet.

Or just one of those balaclavas with only eyes and mouth holes. You know, the sort bank robbers would wear Razz
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bazza
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PostPosted: 14:05 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn't mind so much, but I'd been going in there for the past year - lid on, polite "Good Morning", pay up, no problem.

Now, all of a sudden, I'm criminalscvmverminfilth to be ordered around at the whim of some glorified pump-jockey. Because I ride a bike.
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mistergixer
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PostPosted: 14:09 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Put a bankrobber style stocking mask on underneath your lid.

Film the results.

Thumbs Up
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Knightsy
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PostPosted: 14:11 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

G wrote:
As ever - wear a burqa under your lid next time.

Take off helmet.


Fantastic idea. -notes it down and goes off on Ebay to get one-
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G
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PostPosted: 14:13 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Re: Elf 'n Safety Innit? Reply with quote

map wrote:

Or just one of those balaclavas with only eyes and mouth holes. You know, the sort bank robbers would wear Razz

It's not too unreasonable for them to have issues with people wearing such.
However, I'd be willing to bet they don't ask people wearing burqas to take them off.
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Itxi
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PostPosted: 14:16 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a shame but I can see why they want you to take the helmet off inside, I've seen a few shops that had been stolen from by people in helmets when I was young.

Plus it's bad manners to wear a hat inside Tut Tut


Not as bad as when I was in America though, got told to leave my backpack at the till a lot, wasn't allowed to walk around with it on. Rolling Eyes
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Moo.
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PostPosted: 14:18 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

What happened to this Biker religion thing? Can't we just state its against our religion to take our helmets off in petrol stations as it offends our two wheeled gods and we'd be engulfed in a fireball which would endanger the health and safety of the whole petrol station?

Or just take flipping ages to take your helmet off in the queue and make them wait... Hopefully the next time he'll get the message
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J.M.
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PostPosted: 14:35 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Re: Elf 'n Safety Innit? Reply with quote

If you've already got the petrol in your bike and the attendant is refusing to take payment from you, just leave.

- You took the goods
- You attempted to pay for the goods
- The attendant refused to take payment for the goods
- You left

No offence has been committed because you have attempted to pay for the goods and they refused to take payment from you. Ergo, goods are free.

Didn't someone on here do this once, then when the police came and knocked on the door, they agreed with him that no offence had been committed and left?
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Knightsy
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PostPosted: 14:53 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Re: Elf 'n Safety Innit? Reply with quote

Quote:

However, I'd be willing to bet they don't ask people wearing burqas to take them off.


When asked at small Tesco's about it (exactly burqas) they told me "But it's different."
When I've said "No it isn't!" And explained my reasoning to the woman (not sure what was her job there tbh) who approached me about the helmet (kept it on since I went to check the price of a single item and was on my way out) said "Well, personally I think you're right, but we have the policy..." at which moment, I lost all the interest. Neutral
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bazza
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PostPosted: 15:09 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Itxi wrote:
Plus it's bad manners to wear a hat inside Tut Tut


I disagree; it is frightfully bad manners to wear one's helmet whilst taking tea with the Marquess of Loamshire - the difficulty of raising the Sèvres to one's lips notwithstanding - whereas buying petrol from a mere tradesman is an commercial event, not a social one.
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Itxi
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PostPosted: 15:23 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.advancedetiquette.com/blog/life/hat-etiquette/

Quote:
You may wear a hat indoors (yeh… even a baseball cap if you absolutely must) in public buildings, such as airports, public lobbies, and crowded public elevators.


I guess you were correct this time good sir. However if a member of the fairer sex was present then the whole situation mentioned above would have been wholly inappropriate.
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map
Mr Calendar



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PostPosted: 15:27 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

bazza wrote:
Itxi wrote:
Plus it's bad manners to wear a hat inside Tut Tut
I disagree; ...buying petrol from a mere tradesman is an commercial event, not a social one.

Couldn't one just send one's manservant/batman in to do the dirty deed?
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Jamie.
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PostPosted: 15:31 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

When this happens to me I put the money on the counter and walk out.

They shouldn't enable the pump if they don't want people wearing helmets.
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dodgydog
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PostPosted: 15:34 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Black balaclava and sunglasses on under helmet, then pay while laughing manically and / or muttering incoherently.

(twitching and shaking also helps to unnerve them)
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bazza
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PostPosted: 15:50 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

map wrote:
Couldn't one just send one's manservant/batman in to do the dirty deed?


For the motor car, yes. A gentleman should allow the servants to repair and maintain, but never, unless in utmost need, ride about on one's motorcycle as though on a fairground attraction.
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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 16:18 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Re: Elf 'n Safety Innit? Reply with quote

Me, I'd take my helmet off or go elsewhere. Their gaff, their rules. They're under no obligation to sell us anything, and I can't think of any legislation that we can use to force the issue.

However, if they've already dispensed the fuel and you really want to give it Billy Big Bananas, I'd suggest:

Put the money on the counter.
Throw it on the floor.
Write down your name and address and an offer to pay.
Shout your name and address and an offer to pay from the door.
Ask if they want the petrol back then.
Wear a V for Vendetta mask under your helmet. And a niqab under that. And a balaclava under that.

All of which are essentially futile, since simply refusing to dispense fuel to any bikes wouldn't cost any particular station or chain a significant amount of revenue, or PR damage.

If we push, they can ultimately push back much harder. Let's please be clear where the balance of power lies.
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keggyhander
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PostPosted: 17:07 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

bazza wrote:
whereas buying petrol from a mere tradesman is an commercial event, not a social one.


Indeed.

The law insists that one wears a helmet when using a motorcycle. It says nothing about removing it in order to put go-juice in said motorcycle.

I could understand it if helmets were the exception rather than the rule. In such event, I can see why a helmet would cause concern.

But certainly not when we have to wear the bloody things.
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neil.
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PostPosted: 17:49 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're lucky. Where I work, security is being ramped up because of the 'limpics, and I've been challenged quite a few times when pulling up to the barrier, whilst still in the road, by security guards asking me to remove my helmet. They don't seem to understand when I tell them that they're asking me to break the law... So one morning I dismounted, with my bike right there, whilst cars were piling up behind, slowly and carefully took off my gloves and helmet (I wear glasses so it takes me longer still!), put them all back on and got back on the bike. Rolling Eyes

I'm not quite sure what they want to achieve with this because if I wanted to do the place harm, I could just ride past them and detonate my suicide belt....
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Lone-Wolf
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PostPosted: 18:04 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wotcha.

Just tell them that due to a medical complication, your helmet is connected to your trousers . . . . . .if you remove one, you must also remove the other Thumbs Up Very Happy
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neil.
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PostPosted: 18:06 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Or that your helmet is attached to your penis and cannot be removed (but they can have a stroke if they wish)... Mr. Green
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bazza
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PostPosted: 18:07 - 18 Jul 2012    Post subject: Re: Elf 'n Safety Innit? Reply with quote

Rogerborg wrote:
Me, I'd take my helmet off or go elsewhere. Their gaff, their rules. They're under no obligation to sell us anything, and I can't think of any legislation that we can use to force the issue.

However, if they've already dispensed the fuel and you really want to give it Billy Big Bananas, I'd suggest:

Put the money on the counter.
Throw it on the floor.
Write down your name and address and an offer to pay.
Shout your name and address and an offer to pay from the door.
Ask if they want the petrol back then.
Wear a V for Vendetta mask under your helmet. And a niqab under that. And a balaclava under that.

All of which are essentially futile, since simply refusing to dispense fuel to any bikes wouldn't cost any particular station or chain a significant amount of revenue, or PR damage.

If we push, they can ultimately push back much harder. Let's please be clear where the balance of power lies.


Well, duh.

Of course it's futile. I'm not trying to be fucking Spartacus or Wat Tyler here. I'm planning one more (possibly two) visit(s) to the place before I use somewhere else. What I haven't yet decided is in which manner my petty and futile gesture will be delivered both directly to the real Billy Big Bananas at the root of all this, and indirectly to all the sphincter-lipped sad acts who selected Option 4.
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