Mate going mad?

[TomGT]

Don't really know what to make of this tbh. My 18 year old best mate lived in the same town as me since he was born, he had a large group of friends but grew apart from most of them, he had a couple of girlfriends but nothing too serious. A couple of months ago he moved up to a very small town in Scotland, with plans to go to College up there, since he's moved hes decided not to go to college but get a job as a manual labourer, as he couldn't be bothered with the half hour commute to his previous job, which throws away his chances of joining the ambulance service.

When he moved he couldn't wait to get away, he'd gotten a bit bored with where he lived and understandably wanted to go somewhere else and have a new start, occasionaly coming back down south to see friends and family. He came back down south recently for three days, two months after he moved, later I found out that he'd met a girl on facebook, stayed at a hotel with her one night where she paid him for sex. I was a bit confused when he told me the next day, but didn't think an awful lot of it.

A couple of weeks later he was stopped by the police for speeding and driving with no insurance (was insured but wasn't on the databse) he was going 90mph in a 60mph so could get points or a ban, writing off joining the ambulance service. His parents gave him a bollocking as it was his Mum's car, so he came back down South for a few days, stayed with this girl and put himself as 'in a relationship' on facebook. Saw him a couple of times over the couple of days and his behaviour had definately changed a lot.

He's now gone back up home, but had the girl's name tattooed on his forearm, two weeks after they met he told me recently that he's trying to convince her to not go to college (she's 15), and move into a flat he's trying to buy up there. When I mentioned the tattoo and how its tricky to have them removed, he said that they definitely aren't going to break up, and changed the subject when I said that she's 15 and they've only known each other for two weeks.

All seems a bit loony to me tbh, I know that before he moved he was stressed about trying to finish his education. Maybe since he's moved he's been lonely (not many people to be mates with up there) met her and has got completely the wrong idea?

I genuinely am concerned whether he's just going through a patch of being a tw*t or whether he may actually have a problem, any advice you guys can give would be greatly appreciated.

Tom
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1992 ZXR 400

[cromwell]

Why is the 15 year old paying him for sex in the first place ? That's weird enough not to mention statutory rape etc. as for the tattoo business he's clearly not thinking straight at the moment, a tricky thing as if you bringit up he could just disappear and you won't hear from him again.
Most people go through weird stages when they are growing up, I'm completely different to how I was when I was 18. Not much you can really do when he is so far away a lot of the time.
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"unbelievable"
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[TomGT]

[MinhDinh]

[U_W v2.0]

just be there when the shit hits the fan.

with my family, i stay out of the "current affairs" between them until things start getting stupid. and even then i'll just drop a remote comment like "sounds like something was misinterpreted along the line." something just to get the brain going and let them work the rest out themselfs.

that way i dont get dragged into it and for the most part they work it out.

dont bang on about things to him, it sounds to me like he's slightly fragile in the mind, getting a tattoo of a 15 year old girls name after 2 weeks of knowing them doesnt sound like a sane or normal thing to do. so be possitive, and well, just have an open ear for the guy when he realises how badly he may have fucked up.

minhdinh - sorry to hear that story, its pretty depressing.
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BCF's biggest cunt list: Cansa, Pits, Rob

[anthony_r6]

Tell him you need to get away for a while and ask if you can spend a week with him up at his. See how he acts up his own way?
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Ted : "Maybe he's agoraphobic."
Dougal : "Jack scared of fighting? I don't think so, Ted."

[Robby]

Sounds like he's gone off the rails, but don't expect to be able to talk any sense into him, he'll have his own reasons or justification. It'll be shit, but he'll believe it.

She's 15, it'll go tits up, and her or one of her friends will go to the police. Not out of particular malice, just young girls being bitchy without considering or caring about the consequences for him. He may well do time.

A childhood friend of mine got sent down for 3 year for allegedly having sex with a 15 year old girl, he was about 22 at the time. No one thinks he did it, the evidence was shaky (DNA evidence wasn't submitted, apparently would have shown she was whoring it up) and came down to the testimony of a minor and her friends.

[Kradmelder]

I thought about going off the rails when I was 18 but I would have been brought up before the Sgt-major who would have kicked my arse and given me a bollocking like


'Moenie vir my loor nie troep of ek ruk jou fokken kop van jou fokken skouers af en kak op jou fokken longe sodat jou fokken asem kan stink! - Don't leer at me troop, or I'll rip your head off yoru shoulders and shit in your lungs so that your breath stinks

or Ek sluit jou so ver weg waar nie eers die vliege op joou sal kak! -
I'll lock you so far away where not even the flies will shit on you.

One ou went funny and started reading comic books and ripping each page out as he finished and burning it in a candle so no one could see. He was sent to 1 Mil (1 military hospital) and we never saw him again.
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2011 KTM 990 Dakar
2009 BMW 1200 GS

[nowhere.elysium]

Sounds like he's losing it, yes. Personally, I'd say keep your distance - there's a difference between looking out for a mate that's having a rough time, and being dragged down by someone who's on a self-destruction bender. It sounds to me like he's on the latter.

Whatever you do, make damn sure that he doesn't convince you to meet this underage hambeast; if this ever gets to court (as I'm sure it eventually will, she'll be sure to allege a spitroasting against her will. This is neither a healthy nor sane situation, and you can't go into it expecting to come out of it cleanly, no matter how good your intentions.

:edit: wait - he's 18? In that case, just let him be a prat. He'll get it out of his system. As I say, though - don't get involved. She sounds pretty toxic to me.
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[Skudd]

He is 18yrs old.................... There is nothing wrong with him........ he is just 18yrs old.
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[Suntan Sid]

What "nowhere.elysium" said, tread very carefully!
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"Everybody needs money, that's why they call it money!"

[Cunnington]

[GF-91]

Some good advice here. I thought Cunnington's post the most helpful.
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[chris-red]

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Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
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[Rogerborg]

Is this a "best mate" in the Warped sense?

He's notionally an adult, let him get the crazy out of his system. Don't "lend" him any money, don't get anywhere near the jailbait, tell him to give you a call when he comes to his senses.
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[DMCpro]

Paedo. steer clear he will take you down with him. if hes having sex with an underage girl its illegal even with consent.
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Honda CB-1, TS125X
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[Alpha-9]

He sounds like a typical twat tbh, just leave him to it and stay away. He'll either learn from his mistakes or carry on, so you can't lose

Karma will come back around and he'll be wrapped around a lamppost in no time.
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Fzr-600 1999

[TomGT]

By the sounds of it he could go either way, I'll keep chatting to him as before, and maybe see him early next month. The advantage of him living at home is when his parents see the tattoo and say wtf is that, he'll have to explain it to them, and they'll do the "wtf are you playing at" routine.

I'll keep you posted
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1992 ZXR 400

[EazyDuz]

staying in a small village in Scotland can do wonders to your mental health.
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To shreds you say? Tss tss tss

[MinhDinh]

So my cousin passed away. Alcoholism is such a dangerous thing, and if gone too far, death is near. He was a fighter, lasted longer than the doctors said. I heard his heart rate was 77 yesterday, and today I visited, it was 35. He was slowly dying, was not able to see, or move, but we all knew. I was glad to see loads of family and friends turn up to his bedside.
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[Redoko]

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