Stupid things that beep and give continual needless warnings

[tahrey]

Or run automatically when there's absolutely no bloody need... and the reverse...

My induction hob (not my choice, it came with the flat, would much prefer gas... cookware would've been far cheaper for a start) is pissing me off no end because I have precious little countertop space ... but if I leave various items on top of it ... EVEN IF IT'S SUPPOSEDLY TURNED OFF and everything is stone cold, and all I'm doing with the cooker mains turned on is baking or grilling something... it will beep a "get this shit off me!" warning about every thirty seconds. A longish, shrill, high volume PEEEEP.

No way of turning it off, short of rewiring the bloody kitchen to put the two parts of the cooker (which are opposite ends of different walls, btw) on separate circuits. Nothing in the manual. It's just going to keep doing it. Forever. Until I go back and find somewhere else for that stuff to go, or put more wear on the cooker switch by turning it back off. I'm sure those things probably have really low duty cycles. It feels a bit weak already.

I don't get it, if the thing is smart enough to exhibit this behaviour, why isn't it smart enough to only do it if either the hobs are still hot from cooking (they never get warmer than probably 80 celcius anyway - certainly not boiling - and cool down really fast), or when I try to turn one on with a non-pan item on top of it? And in the last case, refuse to turn the power on to the hob (instead of humming and clicking like a tapdancing bee) and THEN beep like a mad thing? Keeping it's peace at all other times?

One of these days some sonofabitch is going to come up with a smoke alarm with a "snooze" button too. In fact, no, patent office in the morning, that one's MINE. It'll save so many lives. Possibly my own, given that I think the 9v battery is currently dangling out of mine by a single contact, having once again kicked off at an amount of cooking smoke imperceptible to any organic creature even though it never goes off when the whole flat is full of thick grey smoke from the fat in a dirty grillpan almost catching on fire... If I could just give it a "yes, I hear you, now shut up for ~60 seconds whilst I deal with the problem" nudge, the battery would stay in and I'd have a better chance of getting fair warning should the TV actually short circuit.

And auto-lights / auto-wipers, don't get me started. At least I can turn the former off ... the latter are for life. I can control my own intermittent wipe speed, thank you kindly, why do I need a demonstrably fallible sensor to do it for me? Argh.

Plus oil level sensors ... good idea in theory, I fully support it. But the prophylactic warning ones are amazingly unreliable to the point of being little more than an occasional remind to dunk your dipstick once a week, and the "you've got no oil in the sump you fucking cretin" ones don't kick in until long after you've probably lunched a few major components.

[MattJ]

Microwaves that beep to tell you that it's done and continue to do so after you've taken the food out and shut the door again.

[Polarbear]

Wives
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Triumph Trophy Launch Edition

[The Shaggy D.A.]

The washing machine. It beeps when it's finished, and continues to beep after I've opened the door. At least the dryer is clever enough to realise that if I'm opening the door then yes, I know the cycle has finished thankyouverymuch. Any why keep the door lock on for an extra minute at the end of the cycle?

Windscreen wipers. Mine automatically switch to intermittent if I'm stationary. Which is no good in a downpour if I'm wanting to pull out of a junction sharpish. And I'd like to give the bloke who decided that the washer would automatically make the wipers go for 30 seconds a good, sharp punt in the nuts. If the bottle is empty or the water frozen, all you're doing is smearing the crap on my windscreen around even further. I'm quite capable of pressing the washer lever and make the wipers move at the same time myself.

The Sky box. I've turned off your Anytime feature, why does your hard drive spin up at random times?

Apple TV. Why do you turn on randomly? I'm nowhere near your remote, now I have to turn the TV on just so I can see the menu to turn you off.

Meh.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Slacker24seve...]

Peugeot 206s. Yes, I do want to turn the traction control off, I know I'm not wearing a seat belt and yes, I do like to drive with my boot open.

Stupid car.
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Triumph Daytona 675 track bike + girlfriend's Honda Hornet 600
Selling a hack/winter bike for less than a grand? PM me.
Banger rallies are ace

[Bubbs]

My carbon monoxide alarm has been annoying me all night... just cant seem to find the energy to get out of bed and turrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn cm[dsDM :Lds? >..............................................................................................
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Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

[panrider_uk]

My induction hob only beeps if I put stuff on the control section, not the hobs themselves.

What annoys me are cordless phones that continually beep when the battery is low while you're trying to have a conversation using them.

Mark
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Current bikes: Honda ST1100 Pan European. Moto Guzzi V85 TT Travel

[bikertomm]

My phone when it's low on battery.

Yes, I fucking know you're low on battery!

The more it beeps and lights up the more of it it's using


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07' Honda Hornet now full powaah! My guide on performing an oil change!

[cornish]

God yes, phone using the last dying remenants of it's battery life to tell you it's running out. grrrrr!

Smoke alarm also. Mine goes off if a bee farts half a mile away. It's wired into the mains so i can't disconnect it and i'm too short to reach it so now i just stab wildly at it with the broom until it shuts up.

Washing machine drives me nutty. I'm not a fooking mental, i've got the money to buy a washing machine and i have made it to the shop to buy it and social services have never been led to believe that i am too much of a danger to operate one. . . .therefore we can take it as read that i am not going to open the door partway through the cycle in order to spin my head! Give me my fooking clothes back!!!!!

The only useful one i've had is the lights alarm in the car. It's a ka and i was miffed and insulted when i was told it had an alarm to tell me if i get out and leave the lights on. What kind of muff-brained bint can't remember to turn the lights off???? Answer. . . .me! It goes off pretty much everytime i get out of the car when i've been using the lights I swear loudly at it, but secretly i'm glad it's there

Am ok for other beeps as we don't have Sky, landline, microwave or much other gadgety stuff. I'd have to get a bigger broom if we did
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smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[hedgehugger]

My freezer gives a persistent beep after being open for a minute. Feckin' annoying when you are trying to find something or rearrange the shelves/drawers. Ironically it didn't go off AT ALL when the freezer was left open a crack over night and totally overfroze the motor and defrosted everything else!
We thought we'd broke it then and was looking for another. Luckily a proper defrost sorted it.

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

[waffles]

The dishwasher beeps loudly every five minutes to let me know it has finished, pretty much the sole reason why I don't use the damm thing at the moment!

My car beeps if the key is in the ignition with the door open. Even if the engine has been switched off, its like it needs to remind me that I have left the key in.... Trouble is the only way to deadlock the car is with the button on the key so beeping is pretty much a moot point.

On the upside my phone doesn't beep when its running low on battery
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Theory test - 19/8/09, CBT - 11/10/09, MOD 1 - 16/8/10, MOD 2 - 27/10/10
Past rides Yamaha XT125X, Triumph TT600, Honda XR250
Current rides Suzuki GSXR 600, Honda MSX125

[pinkyfloyd]

In our last place we had battery operated smoke alarms installed by the fire dept. Trouble is, these things would beep when the battery was dying and they cannot be changed. You have to call them out during office hours to change them. As you can probably guess they would always start beeping at 6pm on a Friday. Its like they knew you couldnt do anything all weekend about it.

We chucked a few of them off the balcony leaving horrid marks in the ceiling.
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[DrDonnyBrago]

Bike alarms that are stuck in valet mode and beep every 20s or so, even when in motion.

Phones low on battery that remind you of it, by using up battery.

We had a mains powered with battery back up fire alarm that beeped when the battery was low. All well and good until it happens on a Sunday evening.

Alarm clocks that beep for hours and hours if you don't tell them to stfu - went home from uni several weekends with my alarm clock set and my door locked . Flat mates hated me for that.

[DrDonnyBrago]

Thinking about it, I was responsible for one annoying alarm.

The GF has run the car battery flat 3 times now, each time by leaving the boot open just enough to have the inside lights on but closed enough that it isn't obvious.

I wired a 12v buzzer to the boot light. Fuck me was that thing annoying, had it in there for a few months. I called it the "tard alarm", it did the trick though and she hasn't done it again despite me removing the buzzer .

[bazza]

https://www.pmcc-club.co.uk/shop/images/figurines/CG99T500.jpg

You get the idea...
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"That's it. You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college."
'98 Ducati 750SS, '08 Suzuki GSX650F ©2004-2014, Bazza's Harmless Banter

[JP7]

American cars.

"Blip blip." You've unlocked me.

"Bong, bong, bong..." You've opened the door.

"Beep beep beep..." You've put the key in the ignition.

"Bing bing bing..." You turned the key.

"Beep beep beep..." Gearbox not in Park.

"Bong, bong, bong..." Ah-ah, seatbelt!

Easy to overcome of course, simply open the door with the lights on, the engine running , the gearbox out of Park and your seatbelt off, and it won't know what noise to make first, and will blow the speaker.

[The Shaggy D.A.]

[Flemy]

the alarm on my bike, it bleeps three times to tell me I've turned it on, then the alarm goes off for a few seconds to tell me it's on.. Pain in the arse when I'm trying to sneak in at 3am whilst avoiding waking any of my neighbours up.

Though if I don't turn it on, after about 2 mins of having the engine turned off it beeps and tells me that the alarm isn't on.

Though oddly, it only goes off when someone sits on it when it wants to.
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Prev- Pug speedfight 2 50cc x3 (Write off, blown engine and stolen), Honda Xr 125-L (Nail), Suzuki GSX-R 600(stolen). Current- Kwak ninja 300

[Benno]

My mums new car has beeping noises whenever you go too close to something.

Our driveway is really narrow, so all the way up, both sides of the car are going BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Technology improves but gets ten times worse with every leap forward.
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I'm autistic. That means I'm smarter than you.

[yaigi]

My alarm, it just INSISTS on waking me up to go to work EVERY week day
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What would you do in life, if you knew you could not fail?
Currently own - Fazer 600, 2000, Red. (But no riding as baby on board atm)

[LordShaftesbu...]

When my wireless keyboard detects its batteries getting low a nice bright blue light comes on, and stays on until the batteries are completely drained. See if I ever find out who's idea that was ...

[Walloper]

People who persist in leaving the Keyboard Tones at active in their effing mobile phone.
It's like like 'Living with The Retarded' when they're sat sitting TXTing away.
"Dood Dood Dood Dod Dood Dod Dood etc. etc. etc."
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W-ireless A-rtificial L-ifeform L-imited to O-bservation P-eacekeeping and E-fficient R-epair

[hellbound]

My hearing aid beeps for an hour every 10 minutes or so to let me know its running out of battery.

The beep is inside my ear so no one else can hear it but by god its annoying!
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May you always see the road rising up to meet you and your enemies defeated in the mirror behind.

[andyscooter]

kias


they beep for every thing
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gilera runner vxr200 (chavped)
if its spelt wrong its my fat fingers and daft auto correct on my tablet