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| Themightyimp |
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 Themightyimp Crazy Courier
Joined: 24 May 2011 Karma :     
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| sheriffjonny |
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 sheriffjonny Nitrous Nuisance
Joined: 17 Feb 2012 Karma :     
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| mark111 |
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 mark111 Borekit Bruiser
Joined: 27 Aug 2012 Karma :    
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 Posted: 00:22 - 09 Oct 2012 Post subject: |
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Dont brake to sharply or you two will become VERY good Mates  |
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| Howling TerrorOutOfOffice |
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 Howling TerrorOutOfOffice Super Spammer

Joined: 05 Dec 2008 Karma :    
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| Teflon-Mike |
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 Teflon-Mike tl;dr

Joined: 01 Jun 2010 Karma :    
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 Posted: 02:17 - 09 Oct 2012 Post subject: |
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60 miles?
First off, that better not be the first time you sit him on the bike. Tell him you want to try it locally, first, and he'd better be 'OK' on the back or he's going to be catching the train!
So, goes like this;
"Right, got your hat? Gloves? Properly Dressed?, OK... now lets get something straight.... you are now oh-fish-ully, a pillion bunny; your riding Biach..... so that means you do EXACTLY what I tell you!
"NEXT.... baitch-bunny, if you ent riding... your LUGGAGE! got that? you are and will act like a sack of spuds..... you shouldn't find that too hard..... RIGHT spud...... next. I sit bike. I start bike, I maneuver bike. when I'm READY, and I mean when I'M ready... I will PAT the back seat and you may mount..... NOT before! Got that baich!
"WHEN you mount! You do NOT grab me round the throat! You do NOT yank the bike over! You CAREFULLY, check that the pillion pegs are down. You stand on the left side of me, you MAY, place your left hand on my left shoulder. You then place LEFT....
"err.... spud.... just got to check this one, do you know which is LEFT?..... do I need to get the paint out and put an L and an R on each of your boots?.... no!? You can manage that one.... OK...
"you sure? Yeah! OK... well... you put LEFT foot onto the LEFT pillion foot-peg.... You may then, stand up, resting hand on my shoulder, NOT slamming my face into the fucking fairing!... and then swing your right leg over the bike, and both feet on both pegs.. GENTLY lower yourself onto the seat.
"Once seated; you may get yourself comfortable.... SLOWLY, do not flap around and make me fall over! Choose what you want to hold on to. You may hold the grab-rail, you may put your hands on your knees, you may, if you HAVE to put your arms around my waste, and IF you really want to, put one hand on the back of the tank.
"What are you by the way, Baich!... that's right, sack of spuds.... spuds do NOT wriggle... and they most certainly do NOT play with MY Spuds when holding the tank!
"I like you, I really do. I MUST do, to be contemplating taking you on the back of my bike..... but frankly.... NOT THAT MUCH.... so IF you could keep your hands to your self and any sexual urges in check... much appreciate it, THANK-YOU!!
"Right... we have the seating position! You are comfy, you are happy, and remember you are.......... yup, sack of spuds....
"Spuds dont talk, spuds dont wiggle, spuds dont wave thier arms around pointing out pretty women on the pavement; they dont make arm signals, they dont smack me round the ruddy crash helmet if they get SCARED or think I'm going too fast.... NOR do they jump up and down on the pegs yelling "Hi-Ho-Silver" or 'Faster-Faster, big-boy!" at me!
"But THE, most important, NUMBER ONE rule for Sack of spuds.....
"You are a sack of spuds!
"When I lean the bike into a corner, you do not grab me! You do NOT lean the bike for me; you do NOT try staying upright.
"You are a sack of spuds!
"You sit the FUCK STILL!
"Got that? Spuds. You are, spud. Make one with the potatoe, and we might get through this OK and still be freinds at the end.
"What are you, baich?
"No... you are not a cauliflower..... stop being obtuse! WHAT are you!
"Thats better. A potatoe. And DON'T forget it.
"Ok, when I accelerate, you will probably tip backwards. I am not doing a wheelie, thats just the way it is. Dont grab me round the throat scared you are going to fall off! Dont pt your hads round my helmet so I cant see where I'm going niever!
"Just go with it, BUT, do not, I repeat DO NOT lean your head forwards against the force! It WONT stop you falling off, but when I change gear..... force will relax and you'll headbutt me right on the back of my hat!
"This is not nice for either of us, and do it too often, we'll bth have migreins and double vision before we get off.
"Same slowing down, when I brake, brace, if you must hand on tank, but keep your head still and don't throw it back, as when I come off the brakes, same deal!
"Relax go with it, and try not to flop around.
"If you want a pea.... If you want me to slow down or pull over or have a problem... and it better fucking be an emergency if you do...... you tap me HERE on my leg.... no HERE told you about that YOU are the potato, DON'T play with mine!
"OK... dont wriggle, dont squirm, GO with the bike, dont squeeze the crap out of me if you have your arms round my waste, LET ME ride the bike!
"You are LUGGAGE.... a sack of spuds, and DON'T forget it!"
"And when I STOP.... You are a sack of spuds, YOUR feet stay ON the foot-pegs until I tell you you may get OFF.
"Traffic lights, roundabouts T-Junctions I DO NOT CARE, Your arse stays on the saddle, and your feet on the pegs until you are told your not a potatoe. got it?
"OK, when we stop! You remain seated until the stewardesses have colected all the head-phones and slippers, put all the trays into the upright possition, and..... Oh... sorry! Having a flash-back to another fantacy life there.....
"Yeah! When we STOP. You remain seated until the engine has been switched OFF. I will manouver bike however I see fit, before during or after switching the engine off... and you WILL remain seated until I have both feet flat on the ground. and signal you to dismount by reaching behind me and patting your LEFT.... we still clear over your left and right, Spud? Yes, good!
"OK, I will tap your LEFT ankle as signal for you to DISMOUNT.
"This is the exact reverse of mounting. You may place your LEFT hand on my LEFT shoulder; then stand up on both footpegs; swing your right leg over the BACK of the bike......
"This is important; pointy end with whit light FRONT, blunt end with RED light BACK.... swing the wrong way I get a face full of your spuds, and sorry I REALLY dont like you THAT much..... so, swing right leg over the BACK of the bike, be appreciated, and you may lower yourself to the floor, and make your way in an orderly fashion to the arrivals lounge......"
Or some pet talk along those lines! Basically you make sure they get the message that they are luggage and they sit the fuck STILL, and don't lean the bike or stop you leaning the bike. And the humour is optional. Very optional I think many may agree....
BUT works for me; most pillions are so brain numbed and anethatised after one of my pet-talks, they wouldn't care if I rode backwards through a brick wall, they would be so 'potatoed' to oblivion!
You get the idea, though and you have to find what works for you!
Bike: if necessary adjust tyre pressures, suspension, mirrors, and lamps... this is all Mod 2 show me tell me stuff, this is why they ask it... ought to be pretty familiar as well as common sense!
Riding?.... SLOW; Smooth and Steady! VERY Slow-Smooth-Steady. Its much like riding in the wet, but a bit more so.
Bike is going to be probably 30% heavier and most of that weight placed above and behind the centre of gravity.
Like riding in the wet; leave more space between you and leading vehicles, make your braking lighter, earlier and use more back brake. Thats where the weight is.
Junctions and manouvers, again, up the anticipation, plan ahead start stuff early and make your self time to do it slow and smooth and make yourself road room.... again, just as you would if it was wet.
Remember that your passenger WONT be a sack of spuds, and is likely to wiggle and tip or twist or tilt.
Keep it smooth, make it as comfy as you can for them, and dont give them any undue cause for alarm.
You can see whats going on yo the road, but they probably cant, so bike shifting beneath them CAN freak them out.
So, same sort of compensation as in the wet to increase safety margins, JUST IN CASE they have a wibble and stop being a spud.
If they do stay spud; dont get complacemt and wind it on, pillions can be random and suddenly decide to stop being a spud!
They also are likely to react to things randonly, so if you nice and smoothly tip into a corner, and you feel them do exactly what they should and stay with the bike.... dont think its all over... I' have had supds...... sorry pillions, happily on the perch tip into a corner good as gold, shift their gaze see tarmac at unusual angle, then try and pick the bike back up... oh shit moment for me.... and a correction, followed by them, suddenly feeling stupid, remembering thats not what they should do, and JUST as I have corrected... deciding to lean BACK!
GIVE YOURSELF MARGIN, and do not take the pillion for granted.
But at the same time, takes a while to build an empathy between you, so that they do relax and let you get on with it, and you get to know thier foibles as a passenger.
NOT a great idea trying to do it on a long run, trying to get some-where to meet some-one... best to give it a trial round the houses first.
Good luck! ____________________ My Webby'Tef's-tQ, loads of stuff about my bikes, my Land-Rovers, and the stuff I do with them!
Current Bikes:'Honda VF1000F' ;'CB750F2N' ;'CB125TD ( 6 3 of em!)'; 'Montesa Cota 248'. Learner FAQ's:= 'U want to Ride a Motorbike! Where Do U start?' |
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| P. |
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 P. Red Rocket
Joined: 14 Feb 2008 Karma :   
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| Billo63 |
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 Billo63 Crazy Courier

Joined: 02 Jul 2012 Karma :  
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| CaNsA |
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 CaNsA Super Spammer

Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Karma :   
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 Posted: 09:45 - 09 Oct 2012 Post subject: |
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| map |
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 map Mr Calendar

Joined: 14 Jun 2004 Karma :     
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| blurredman |
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 blurredman World Chat Champion

Joined: 18 Sep 2010 Karma :   
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 Posted: 10:38 - 09 Oct 2012 Post subject: |
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| map wrote: |
 better than the tl;dr Teflon-Mike version that may or may not have some useful tips.
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| Teflon-Mike wrote: |
"You are a sack of spuds!
"No... you are not a cauliflower..... stop being obtuse! WHAT are you!
"Thats better. A potatoe. And DON'T forget it.
"You are LUGGAGE.... a sack of spuds, and DON'T forget it!"
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sure... lol ____________________ CBT: 12/06/10, Theory: 22/09/10, Module 1: 09/11/10, Module 2: 19/01/11
Past: 1991 Honda CG125BR-J, 1992 (1980) Honda XL125S, 1996 Kawasaki GPZ500S, 1979 MZ TS150.
Current: 1973 MZ ES250/2 - 18k, 1979 Suzuki TS185ER - 10k, 1981 Honda CX500B - 91k, 1987 MZ ETZ250 (295cc) - 40k, 1989 MZ ETZ251 - 51k. |
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| Flatbadger |
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 Flatbadger World Chat Champion

Joined: 07 Apr 2012 Karma :   
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 Posted: 11:21 - 09 Oct 2012 Post subject: |
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https://i.imgur.com/0OKK7.jpg
My tip would be to ensure there are no tips. ____________________ If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
You're in ISIS |
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| ScaredyCat |
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 ScaredyCat World Chat Champion

Joined: 19 May 2012 Karma :   
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| Lord Percy |
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 Lord Percy World Chat Champion

Joined: 03 Aug 2012 Karma :  
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 Posted: 21:52 - 09 Oct 2012 Post subject: |
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I learned in the deep end, in India, in towns, cities, coutryside, wherever. Also, going through the rural parts, people would wave you down and ask for a lift if you didn't have a passenger. I carried two people on more than one occasion.
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| Zen Dog |
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 Zen Dog World Chat Champion

Joined: 11 Aug 2004 Karma :    
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 Posted: 22:34 - 09 Oct 2012 Post subject: |
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Riders make bad pillions. They instinctively try to influence the behaviour of the bike. I do it too, its really hard not to.
If your friend is particularly prone to this when you take him on the back, tell him to to stop looking at the road ahead and enjoy the view. He won't be able to brace himself for braking as well, but it should mean he sits more like luggage.
Zen Dog ____________________ Current - '94 VFR750FR (Dead), '00 VFR800FI, 2011 CBF125 Previous - '10 Street Triple R, '92 MZ ETZ301, '05 TTR250, NSR125R, KMX125, "Honda" Win (chinese copy of an old Honda design with a C90 engine)
My bike trip around S.E. Asia 2010/2011 |
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| Themightyimp |
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 Themightyimp Crazy Courier
Joined: 24 May 2011 Karma :     
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| CaNsA |
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 CaNsA Super Spammer

Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Karma :   
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| Shall78 |
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 Shall78 Borekit Bruiser
Joined: 04 Sep 2011 Karma :    
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 13 years, 78 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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