child access

ZebraDriver · Scooby Slapper Joined: 13 Feb 2011 Karma :

My son has a 2 year old son. He was in a fairly sensible relationship with his GF and when they found out she was pregnant they moved into a flat together etc. Three months before my grandson was born she turned into a bunny boiler and they split up. She continued to be a BB all the way through and didnt even let my son know that the baby had been born etc (first my son knew was the phone call from the CSA).

The BB attitude still exists - she assaulted my son and his current GF when they bumped into her at the shopping centre recently. I'm not saying my son is any kind of angel but I dont think he deserves the kind of shit he has had to take from her

My son would like very much to see my grandson but as there is no way that any of her family will talk to him how do we go about gaining access to his son?

There is the obvious route of going to court etc but this seems heavy handed as a first solution.

Has anyone had the same problem? - are there any organisations that can help with this kind of problem?

ZD

MaybeGuy · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Karma :

no see, no money Thumbs Up

Should have falcon punched her before it was too late.
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unitynotsocri... · Banned Joined: 29 Jun 2011 Karma :

you could talk with a solicitor about a parental agreement.the courts may aslo stipulate access/duties of both parties involved......be carefull though the family courts are not interestd in the quibbles/arguments of parents\...just the welfare of the child.from the sound of her lifestyle choices i'd reccomend paternity should be proven,before though,she could just be playing off a few guys for money.
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cornish · Forum Conscience Joined: 03 Feb 2011 Karma :

There is a mediation service that is like a stop-off point before court.

https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce

It would be worth a try. Sometimes people can be forced to behave reasonably when their behaviour is exposed to a third party Thumbs Up

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ZebraDriver · Scooby Slapper Joined: 13 Feb 2011 Karma :

Thanks cornish that may be exactly what he's looking for.

ZD

unitynotsocri... · Banned Joined: 29 Jun 2011 Karma :

a parental responsibility agreement can be very good when people hav'nt been married.It not a fully secure peice of paper,like a custody ruling but it gives both parents the oppertunity to volountry agree to demonstrate their commitment to the children.

should any party neglec the agreement then the matter can be returned to the courts.

in short parental responsibility agreements are muc less streesfull and tortuous than drawn out custody conflicts that can have a very negative effect on childrens welfare.
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nearly a normal tax paying tosser.......with ferrileness suzi100,cg125,cb125scb100n,cb175,cd100,cj250t,kh250,c15,125 bantam,super 6,rickman gs750,xt500,250rs,dt175,lifan125,dolomite1850,metro,Morris220ld,morrisfg,leyland princess,range rover,corsa,vw camper .now struggling with legs. MORE ORDER = MORE CHAOS

Kradmelder · World Chat Champion Joined: 13 Jun 2012 Karma :

Ronin · Nova Slayer Joined: 10 May 2012 Karma :

Court is the only way really.The trouble is it cost a small fortune and the bb will lie and ignore anything she agrees to .So you will be back and forward to court until the kid is old enough to make up its own mind.

Trust me lots of money .Lots of heartache and no guarantee you will the child with any degree of regularity .

Kradmelder · World Chat Champion Joined: 13 Jun 2012 Karma :

cornish · Forum Conscience Joined: 03 Feb 2011 Karma :

Kradmelder · World Chat Champion Joined: 13 Jun 2012 Karma :

cornish · Forum Conscience Joined: 03 Feb 2011 Karma :

It does depend on two people both seeing sense unfortunately. Like you say, it can be royally fooked with by someone and court then becomes the only way. Life would be a lot easier if everyone was nicer Sad

Hopefully in the op's case mediation will do the trick tho.
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halucin8 · Borekit Bruiser Joined: 28 Aug 2010 Karma :

With the introduction of cmec cs3 mediation will be the way to go, parents are going to be encouraged to mediate and cooperate with regards to child support not sure if access is going to be included though, but those who refuse to comply will have a Fee added onto their child support calculation on both sides.
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cornish · Forum Conscience Joined: 03 Feb 2011 Karma :

i had no idea that could be done through the courts. I thought it was all csa. My ex pays nothing and never has, if he made a contribution and was forced to keep it up i could afford to work.

I've never dared to attempt it before even though he's loaded. He'd use being responsible for income that's vital to us as a means to fcuk with us and leave us in the sh1t. Fantastic bit of info, thank you Thumbs Up

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Ronin · Nova Slayer Joined: 10 May 2012 Karma :

20 grand in court fee's to answer you lies and get access to my son .Also the fact I do a 700 hundred mile round trip and buy him cloths.Sorted out your car .Fitted your new cooker .hung your door .I have given you money help and all I get is you lying through your teeth. Give it a fucking rest .

Thats not to mention I stored all you stuff with my mate and then moved it to a storage place in truro all at my expense .

Also rebuilt your bike mot'd and taxed it and also painted it that one off purple all at my expense .

So I have paid and all I get from you is shit about seeing my son and have done since he was born .Oh and before he was born.

I don't know what your problem is .Until the 1st of september I thought access was going well .But you have changed it again .This has nothing to do with me or my son we get on really well the only problems are caused by you and I have no idea why.

Every body always says you send you life having to be in conflict with someone and always have done .Guess its my turn come round again ..Shame the only one who really suffers is my son . Karma

J0Al1 · World Chat Champion Joined: 25 Nov 2006 Karma :

Courts:

Avoid if possible. Stressful.

I was taken to court, the Father got his 'I don't want any weekend commitment' and sees his son for 3.5hrs a week on a Monday.

PAH !

Mediator was good, she clearly agreed with me although could only pose questions and suggestions. Was amusing when the father said his only day off is a Monday and therefore can only visit on a Monday, OH but not every Monday because sometimes he has extra courses to go on .. OH and occasionally would not risk driving my son if he was overtired because he has heard of people falling aslweep at the wheel .. HAHAHAR He thought he was showing concientiousness towards the safty of my son, but made himself look like a complete TARD.

Tired LOL . . . try 5am 7 days a week Rolling Eyes

End of day, court see short regular visits as the better otpion... rather than enforcing responsability and risking the Father not visiting.

Your son has a right and should quietly persist, point out all the advantages to the baby (having a Dad about). Also, she will in time see that she wil benefit too... iie break once a week

Surley he would have known roughly when the baby was due and this CSA not been that much of a suprise?

From my experiance courts accomodate the Father very well and let them have the contact that suits them (even if it is not the most ideal time for the kid).

Good luck

J0Al1 · World Chat Champion Joined: 25 Nov 2006 Karma :

cornish · Forum Conscience Joined: 03 Feb 2011 Karma :

Irn-Bru · World Chat Champion Joined: 13 Aug 2009 Karma :

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Blackwolf · Burgerfist Joined: 19 Nov 2006 Karma :

Ronin and Cornish.

Don't start in someone else's thread. Drop it.
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Ronin · Nova Slayer Joined: 10 May 2012 Karma :

The reason I had to go court is because you stopped me seeing my son and had me arrested the first of the 4 times you did.But they never charged me with anything because you had lied about your allegations.

You then moved sack your solicitors and thought that would be end of that .As not being able to serve you with papers stopped that .You were wrong I found your address .Which oh yeah another visit from the police .Because you think I shouldn't know were you live .Wrong again .

You have broken your court order 4 times now thats why I have had to go back to court so many times and spend so much money.Because you keep stopping me seeing my son and why because you want to.your not mental your just nasty and a compulsive liar.

I also had to go to court because you had made allegations against me .Such as attempted murder twice.haha.Yes no joke she did.

The last time you even bounced your face off something and told the police I did it .Now that was abit sick even for you. luckily the police are not as stupid as you think .

Yes I brought my house cash lucky me .Yes I have a van and a couple of bikes .I worked hard for them .I don't have any cars .You could have got a job and worked hard and brought things rather than live on disability .After all you have a degree so are really clever.lol.

I have been fighting you for access to my son since he was born and I suspect I will be doing so for some years to come .I have never done anything to you or my son for you to stop me seeing him and the court case showed that and that you had fabricated every single allegation you brought against me all 118 of them.

All I have ever wanted is to see my son and you have done everything you could to stop me and I still have no idea why other than your just nasty.Well if you think you have a good reason to stop me seeing him take me back to court and see if the judge agrees with you.Or shut up and let me see my son .

Sorry About this but after 6 year of this bollocks and keeping my mouth shut I have had enough.

If you want to go to mediation I am happy to do that .If you want to go back to court I am happy to do that .But what I will not do is let you stop me seeing my son .

I will not be stealing this thread again .I am sorry I have in the first place but this is the sort of shit us men have to go through to see our kids and the por bloke who started this thread needs be aware of how bad things can get.Hopefully he can maintain a sensible relationship with his ex partner.

A funny thing though I have never had any problem seeing my daughter who is 15 now and I have been having her since she was 2 when I left her Mum.