Recovering Money from a mate

[TomGT]

A while ago I wrote my mate going mad thread and contrary to Roger's advice I lent him some money a while back. The first time he needed money for the train to go back home after visiting her down here, was only £15 so I thought fair enough. This was on a saturday, and he promised to pay me back the next friday when he got paid.

Didn't hear anything for a couple of weeks, but kept in regular contact and forgot about it. Next he begged me for £110 to come back down south so he could propose to his gf, don't agree with it but being a nice guy I obliged.

He came down and got engaged in september, saw them both while I was down, all was well. Asked him a couple of times while she wasn't looking what was going on with this money, and he sort of fobbed me off in a nice way.

Since then they've both moved in together somewhere near Inverness, apparently working at Tesco, I tried ringing him a few times in a day, and I got an angry text back saying he was at work. Text him back that same day asking when was a good time to call, and got no answer, rang him a few times over the next couple of weeks, but no answer, it wasn't going to voicemail, he was declining the call.

Hatched an elaborate plan to ambush him when he was next down, but he's not keeping in contact with anyone down here. I sent him a text earlier today saying ring me about the money or I'm taking you to small claims court, no answer.

The logical thing to do at this point seems to be to Make a court claim for money, but apparently you need to be 18 to do this

So what am I to do, it's only £125, I have texts from him asking for the money and saying when he was going to pay it back, skype conversations to that effect, and possibly recorded phone calls. As well as online banking transactions to show that the money actually changed hands.

I was thinking of giving CAB a try, as he's now blocked me on skype and facebook, the other alternative is to find contact details through his parents who live up there, although I don't really want to involve them if I don't have to. Although, if his parents new what was going on I'm pretty sure he'd pay up sharpish

What does bcf think
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1992 ZXR 400

[Old Git Racing]

Just write it off and get on with your life, learning a lesson along the way. 'Don't lend money to wankers even if you think they are your mate'.

OGR
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2022 Tiger Sport 660 2019 Street Twin 2003 K3 gixxer 1000 1998 Srad 600 track hack

[fatpies]

Shrug your shoulders and consider the £125 to be written off.

Consider it to be a small price to pay to find out the true nature of such a person.

Oh and btw learn how to spot such people, because they will sure know how to spot you and take advantage of you.

If you MUST lend get some collateral and a SIGNED contract. So you can get an open shut case for small claims if you decide to take it that far.
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"It's easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It's a lot more difficult to perform one"

[WildGoose]

[mysterious_rider]

Should have been pretty fecking obvious if the kid didn't pay the first lot back. General rule of thumb, if they can't pay back £15 you can pretty much guarantee they won't be paying anything else back.

Avoid.

[Polarbear]

Sucks doesn't it.

And the next time one of your friends is desperate, you aren't going to help him out cause of that last shit bag.

I have no answer, except

1: only lend to people who you think would do the same for you.
2: Don't lend if you expect it back.
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Triumph Trophy Launch Edition

[Ariel Badger]

To quote John Cooper Clarke, " A friend in need is a friend in debt". You will never get that cash back, forget it.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[Islander]

As others have said, you've just learned a valuable life lesson. Absorb and remember and move on.

[owl10]

This is quite a common thread on BCF.

Moral - dont associate with chavvy twats. !

TBH 15 quid for a train or whatever...yea fair enough I probably wouldnt even ask for it back but would expect them to remind me about it and maybe buy me a pint on top next time I see them.

Needing to borrow 110 to propose????

This = never seeing it again. If he cant find cash to see his mrs to propose you think he is ever going to find cash for you?

Still console yourself that if this is how that person chooses to act, and never changes, then they will have a pretty rubbish existence.

It probably seems a bit of cash but im sure youve wasted more than that on stuff you didnt really need before, or beer, or both.

The most Ive lent is about 600 quid, but had no issues about trusting the guy as ive lent him stuff lots of times, and he's helped me out lots of times (was lent me a 'spare' Evo (as he had 2!) when my car was in for repair...). That said, its not unheard of for people to be like this then still fuck you over...

A mate of mine owes me 40 quid from a year ago when I gave him a few Euros on the last day of a lads holiday, I just havent seen him since, but have known him years and Im fairly sure next time I do ill get it back + beer.

However I've lent people cash, tools and all sorts in the past which ive never got back

Probably very un PC but as a rule of thumb the more no answers to the below the less chance of seeing cash again.

Does this person ever have disposable cash?

Is this person in employment?

Can this person survise without benefits?
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DanceLikeAMonkey says: "An infinte amount of web pages available
Yet I still end up reading crap like that"

[UnknownStuntm...]

I lent money to a mate once. He knew I had some cash in an account and when we were out on the piss, he would say "lend us a twenny, I'll let you have it tomorrow" and so on. This went on until I'd lent him over a hundred, when I just said no. He argued with me, I just said I'll let you have anything of mine if I think I'll get it back, but you're just taking the piss mate. Got quite aggressive at one point, so I recall.

So I broke his lip with his teeth.

Was it worth a ton? No. But I'd like to think he learned a lesson. Maybe not 'only borrow what you can pay back', perhaps it was 'He's not a poundcow I can milk any more'. But fuck him, in the ass, he's a cockend and I am well better off without that kind of person as a 'mate'.

Move on from it, think of it as a £125 self-help course in choosing your friends wisely.

[Alpha-9]

> Says his mates going mad and asks for advice
> Loans said mate money
> Wonders why he doesnt get the money back

There's your problem.
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Fzr-600 1999

[Kradmelder]

write it off. It is not worth eating yourself up over.

A true mate will never ask, unless he is so desperate he cant feed his kids. Then you wont lend it, but give it anyway.

I had an old mate (we are still are mates 25 years later). As common, the woman cleaned him out, couldnt pay the lights and water, feed his kids etc. I gave him R4000 to get out of the shit. He insisted he will pay me back with interest but I said chris Im not going to jew you out of money. I said, pay back if you can, but I refuse to take interest. I never asked him for it. It took about 2 years, but he paid back every cent, without me ever asking.
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2011 KTM 990 Dakar
2009 BMW 1200 GS

[Alpha-9]

[Poseidon]

Back on topic,

I will only echo what others have said. Do not loan money to friends, especially not money you want to see ever again.

I have a group of very close friends and we often bung each other a tenner or twenty when we know the other person is hard up for cash, but we never ask for it back. If we actually knew who owed what, I'm fairly sure that we'd all be even anyway, but none of us have ever kept tabs. Other than that I just say no.

Same with family, there's some people in the family who I like and will give money to if they're in a bind, but I give them the money, not loan them it, and never ask for it back (despite getting it back, in full, without fail everytime). There's others in the family that often ask for a loan and just get told no. I couldn't give a monkeys if this upsets them (especially when they time their requests around the time student loan company put a big wedge in my bank account) as it is my money, for me, to do with as I please. Not my fault they're up the creek (3 times in less than 12months). If they want to get arsey, I let them. I'd sooner be shunned by someone whilst all my money is safely in my account than be ignored and dodged by someone who has borrowed a big chunk off me.
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1977 Honda CG125
2002 Ducati Monster S4 (currently restoring)

[Alpha-9]

It's simple. Don't lend money to people you don't trust.

I don't know why you bother with this guy at all tbh, from what i've read he sounds like a user and abuser, then just moves on to do it again

I wouldn't even classify him as a friend if he fucks off and doesn't make contact. Certainly wouldn't enable him with my money if I were in your shoes.
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Fzr-600 1999

[Raffles]

As others have said, you need to accept that you have been skanked and move on.
If you attempt to use the small claims procedure then you will become frustrated. You will need to pay a fee to lodge the claim at your local county court. Your ''mate'' will then ask for the case to be transferred to his local county court in Inverness. If your claim is successful he will in all likeleyhood cry the poor tale and may be ordered to compensate you at a couple of quid a month. After a couple of months the payments will cease. You will then have to pay out again to try to get an enforcement order.
Rinse and repeat........
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[Rogerborg]

Oh, now you all say it.

https://remote-backup.com/kb/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/told-you-so-meter1.jpg

Sorry you got ripped off, but some people pay a lot more to learn the same lesson. Eh, the guy's a kiddie fiddler, you're well out of that one.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[janner_10]

You were naive and paid the price, chalk it up to experience and move on.

Make a mental to note to exact revenge next time you find yourself in Inverness.
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Yamaha FZS600 (Now gone to heaven) > CBR600F4i (SOLD) > '99 YZF-R1

[sebastianw]

[Alpha-9]

[U_W v2.0]

quite often i find myself in a possition where i could do with borrowing a few extra £ but difference is i dont ask. im very reluctant to borrow money and the only time i will is when i've gone over the upcoming expenses to see if i can afford to pay it back at the next payday which are 2 weeks between.

and i'll be perfectly honest, theres a cash maker up the road. popped the bluray player in yesterday as ran outta tobacco. will collect it tomorow as doing an odd chores for my nan again.

whats my point? theres very little need to borrow off freinds.
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BCF's biggest cunt list: Cansa, Pits, Rob

[hedgehugger]

Whilst £125 Isn't a tiny amount it isn't huge either.
I'd write it off as a loss, but also write the sponger off as well.
Can't be doing with dicks who don't do what they say they will.
Next time they want something and get in touch (chances are they will, I guess) The word you will be looking for is NO!
Do not apologise for saying it, just say NO! no, nope, no-can-do, fuck off are all equally acceptable.


Also, never lend anyting out, you cannot afford to lose!

[mistergixer]

You've just discovered the difference between a 'mate' and an 'acquaintance'.

As per Fatpie's comment, if it has only cost £125, it's been a pretty cheap lesson.


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Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
Mistergixer's videos on YouTube

[Ed Case]

AS it only cost you £125 to get rid of the twat you did well, it could have been a lot more !.

[J4mes]