Right to contact adopted siblings

[c_dug]

My girlfriend has recently been given permission to write a letter to her three half brothers. She is only supposed to send 1 letter a year and will only receive 1 letter. If she wrote more than one letter will the social services send this on to the new family or will it be kept on file?

Also, does she have any right to know of the circumstances as to why the boys were taken away from their mum? She tried to ask the social services but all they said to her was "ask your birth mother" and when she explained that she has had no contact with her mother for 4 years they said "wait until the boys are old enough to tell you themselves"

Is there a legal right to know or way of finding out the details of the case?
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I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[yambabe]

No.

It sounds like the boys are still quite young, and may not be aware themselves of why they were adopted. Those files will be kept confidential until the youngest is 18, at which time they can be made available to the boys but no-one else.

If you girlfriend can't talk to her mum is there another relative she could ask, or what about the father? If the brothers are younger, how come she doesn't know? Where was she when it all went down?

It must be hard for your girlfriend but she needs to think about the disruption she could cause in their lives at this stage and take a step back.
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Sod falling in love, I wanna fall in chocolate.

[c_dug]

She was around until the eldest was 3 and the middle brother was just a few months, she has never met the youngest.

The relationship between my girlfriend (Kim) and her mother was difficult at the time, her mother was a drinker and became violent towards her, In the end custody of my Kim was given to her father when she was 14.

The relationship with that whole side of the family took a bit of a nose dive from there and she no longer has contact with any of them.

Any idea how likely they are to stick to one letter a year? Seems a bit ott to me!
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I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[yambabe]

Not sure about the one letter thing, I assume this is so that contact can be maintained in case the boys want to take it futher later but will not be put under any pressue at the moment.

I do know that particularly if the boys have been adopted rather than just fostered all efforts will be being made to let them settle into a new life with new parents and an elder sibling could unfortunately play havoc with that whole situation, hence the arms-length thing.

As to the why, it sounds to me like you may have answered your own question there - if Kim's last experience of her mother was that she was a violent drunk it's more than likely that she lost her boys because of it.......
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Sod falling in love, I wanna fall in chocolate.

[daemonoid]

Perhaps there are court records of the case? I'm not sure where such a custody hearing would take place, but the following gives a bit of info on how to search the various courts:

https://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/records/research-guides/criminal-courts-from-1972.htm

Although she would not get any improved access to the brothers she may find the reasons. Either that or social engineering - contact one of the old family grandparent, aunt/uncle then feign interest meet down a pub and talk the info out of them.
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[pike]

How old is your girlfriend and the brothers as of now?

[c_dug]

Girlfriend is 20, boys are between 11 and 4 iirc.
____________________
I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[Ronin]

What does your girlfriend actually want?.

Does she just want to keep in touch for when they are older.

I can't see them saying no to Birthday and xmas card's and a present.That would be very unfair.

[c_dug]

Basically yeah she just wants some contact.

From what she tells me her mum was such a state through drink that Kim took care of the two babies so she feels a very close connection to them.

I don't think she realises it at the moment but the adoption is a blessing in disguise, if they were still with their mother there is no way on earth she would have tried to have contact with them. An open forum isn't the place to go into details but she went through some pretty terrible things with her mum and the father of the boys. I think she is worried that they were put through the same or worse.

With regards to the presents/cards I think that would be the goal however obviously first of all the new parents need to agree to it, and it seems as though the social services will only allow one letter in each direction every year which makes building any kind of rapport with them quite tricky.

She just wants to feel part of a family again.
____________________
I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[multijoy]