How to cope with a break up

[cyberglass]

never thought i would actually post in here usually im reading everyone elses problems :/

Just split up with my fiance its only been 2 days now and my heart feels like its been ripped out i cant sleep and have no appetite at all. i really love her more the anything in the entire world. how the fuck can people cope when the most important thing in there entire life isnt there anymore. im not scuicidal lol but it feels like my entire life has just ended and i know i will have to see her around which will destroy me inside. even a ride on the bike did fuck to help.
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DL650 Vstrom 2004
DRZ400S 2003
Yamaha R1 2005

[Amnesty]

All I can say is I wouldn't know what to do if I lost my partner, doesn't just fuck up your emotions, it makes your general life harder ( especially if you live with them )

is it a deffo break up? anything similar happened like this before you fixed?

Just think, if you kept argueing and having problems, maybe it wasn't best, and over time, your emotional attachment will heal mate.
only cure is time.
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I ride a scoot, so what? >_>

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Enjoy the short-term weight loss. Do stuff whilst you're awake i.e no festering.
Re-assess situation when you get your life into a new routine.

Don't be a wimp.
Remember this....You were you before you knew her and will be you again.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[J.M.]

Pretty much:
Keep busy.
Meet new people.
Do things that you enjoy doing.
Do things that you enjoy doing that you couldn't do in a relationship.
Have a wank.
Hook up with some random girls.

I usually end up blocking them on social networking sites and deleting their numbers to stop me obsessing over them and talking to them agian.

Also you'll obsess over her because you want to obsess over her. Don't do this, it will make things worse.
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2004 R1 & 2018 XSR900

[stoke-gaz]

Time, nothing else.

i know how it feels, me and my ex split 7 years ago, for the first 12 or so months i drank myself to oblivian every day, didn't have a bike or licence back then, so the savings went on vodka!

As already been said, keep yourself busy, sounds random but, just go for a walk, round a park, round a lake, wherever, just try not to sit and hide away.

chin up for now, it's gonna be a hard road to travel but keep going.
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Gaz.
Ex: GZ125HS, Current: Yamaha xv535 virago, Suzuki GSF600.
CBT: passed 30/09/2012 Theory: passed 02/02/2013 MOD 1: 27/03/2013 MOD 2: 18/04/2013.......CAT A LICENCE IS MINE!!!!

[cyberglass]

thanks guys really appreciate the advice x
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DL650 Vstrom 2004
DRZ400S 2003
Yamaha R1 2005

[haroman666]

I'm pretty much gonna echo what the others have said: do stuff.

You have friends to hang out with? Hang with them. Do things with them: Go Karting, Ride out to the coast, football in the park...

Take up model making. Drive RC cars. Spend some time and money on yourself.

It sounds like evasive activity: doing stuff to avoid the inevitable sadness but tbh, it's living life again.

Take on a bike project...

I'm running out of ideas really, but all these things take up time. And time is what really makes it fade away.

Disclaimer: Dont take my words as gospel as I haven't properly experienced a break up. My longest relationship was 5 months and I was 14 at the time.
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The mistresses: 2000 Honda CBR600f, 2000 Honda VTR1000

[h00dwink]

a big ol' wank
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Sahf East Winnah 4LYF
https://bikepics.com/members/h00dwink/00sv650s/
www.youtube.com/h00dwink updated regularly

[cyberglass]

Lol i wish a big ol wank would sort it.
Trying so hard to take my mind off it but my mobiles sitting there and the urge to text her is unbearable.

had a hotel and stuff booked for friday to for a little holiday and the cunts wont refund me anyone want to share a double bed with me in filey
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DL650 Vstrom 2004
DRZ400S 2003
Yamaha R1 2005

[cromwell]

Bluntly, just get on with it!
It bloody sucks breaking up with someone, even more so if you were set to wed, unfortunately there isn't a quick fix, as has been said time is the only thing that is going to help you, that and no contact. All the while you are sending the odd text, bumping into each other you won't be able to properly move on or be 'you' again. The first couple of weeks are the hardest, it's gets a little bit easier after that, then a little more and so on.
I can relate to the whole feeling like the world has ended and nothing feels right, that's normal and will pass soon enough, we've all been there. You will wake up one day, sick of being sad and just get about with your life, you may even get back together, who knows what will happen, I've always found that just accepting it for what it is and trying to get on with it is all you really can do.
If you want to go out and sleep with random girls then do it, if you don't then don't, rebounding is good as long as you're in charge of it and not just trying to replace the other person straight away. I'm a strong believer in being single for a bit after a serious relationship, it helps you get back to being your best.

Tl;dr - keep your chin up, it WILL get better with time, minimal contact and if you need a laugh head over to the Last Post Wins thread.
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"unbelievable"
Current - Suzuki Bandit 600
Ex's - Yamaha YBR 125

[Knightsy]

Choke kittens and skin puppies. That always cheers me up.
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09' Versys 650 | 07' FJR1300A

[cyberglass]

theres not enough puppies or kittens in the world dude. i honestly never though something like this would affect me this much.
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DL650 Vstrom 2004
DRZ400S 2003
Yamaha R1 2005

[fatpies]

You have to be rational.

Mind over emo.

Your fiancee was just one woman out of millions.

You're just having some oxytocin withdrawl.

Mopping on BCF like an emotard won't do anything.

Go out meet others, take them home stick it in any hole they want. You'll generate oxytocin with them and get the same feelings and buzz you get off from them which you are missing now.

Rationalising it helps.

All the things running through your mind about her 'uniqueness and specialness' all the things you stick her on a pedestal for. you'll soon realise aren't all that unique and special after all. Like other women will have a super sucking special technique, or will have excellent muscular control or will gargle your jizz.

And will have little quirks and mannerisms which you'll find cute, annoying and or sexy.


If you don't wnat to do the above, keep yourself busy as mopping about won't help.


Then you'll become haggard cynical and bitter like the rest of us!
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"It's easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It's a lot more difficult to perform one"

[m3-paul]

Shit isn't it. What I will say is thank goodness it has happened now before you are married - that is a whole new ball game .

I am just finishing up a horrible divorce. I have three kids, the youngest is only coming up to three.

I adore my kids and that for me is the hardest thing, my ex-wife, I now don't give a damn about. You will come to a point when you realise that this will actually be for the best. Took me three months and a superb set of friends, my sister and parents to straighten my head out and help me see the way forward.

Talk to those closest to you, do not bottle this shit up because it will eat away at you. Been there done it, got the fucking t-shirt. It hurts and all the "kill kittens" etc can't take away the true hurt.

As I say, don't bottle it up, take the bike for rides - that helped me.

My ex thought i would crumble and roll over so she could trample all over me and she would get everything. After three months i went in to "fuck that" mode and took her on. Has cost me in to five figures for good legal help but she has now had to get a mortgage to buy me out and i am picking the keys up to my new three bed house one road away from the kids next month - so to her - the bitches plan to fuck me up failed .

So, after my little rant, pick yourself up, hold your head high, talk to those that care about you and try to get to the start of realising there will be a better life for you without her in your life. Good luck, it stings but you will get through it.
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Yamaha TZR250 - love the smell of TTS!!!!
CBR900RR Fireblade - so much fun

[_Will_]

[fatpies]

Filey you say?

Why not go south to Bridlington? Go visit the DZ there and do a tandem jump or even a level 1 AFF (both cost about the same). You can spend the money you were going to spend on yourself.

You do this and you'll buzz for the whole weekend and the fiance will be a distant memory. Use the buzz to go on the pull
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"It's easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It's a lot more difficult to perform one"

[garth]

Well, first off;

Delete her number.

Block on any social network sites.

The best way is no contact whatsoever. It obviously wasn't meant to be, so just fuck it off and get on with the rest of your life.

[Rogerborg]

Not living together? No kids? Then what's the big deal? There's someone out there just like her, only with bigger boobs.

Leave the toilet seat up, and grow a manbeard of Brian Blessed proportions.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Joncrete Cungle]

Delete her number, now. Get a new mobile number ASAP. Delete her email address and delete, then block her from your Faceache / deactivate your faceache account for a while.

Don't start having one beer every night, one becomes two, becomes three, becomes four and so on. Find stuff to do to keep you occupied, out of the house and active. Do you go to the gym, if not join a gym. Find a local walk you can do, is there anyone who's dog you could walk for them? Spend more time on and riding your bike, plan a trip next year round the UK, in to Europe etc when the weather is better.

Try something new like climbing, archery or kayaking. Is there anything you always wanted to have a go at but the ex stopped you or put you off doing it? Fuck it go and do it. Don't stay indoors moping and hiding from the world. Get out and meet new people and new women.

Get out with your mates at the weekend and have a good time. Get pissed and pull random birds, enjoy yourself. Had you saved anything towards the wedding? Could you spend it on improving your education / knowledge, something to make you more employable, a little investment in your self you could say.

[tactical_pancake]

We've all been there and it can take years to get over these things. You won't even be able to think straight about it for a few weeks but when you do

Just realise that you've made her out to be something in your head that she's not. Stop trying to make sense of her according to your 'version' of her in your head (who is madly infatuated with you) and just look objectively on what she has done, that's who she is, not who you think she is.

Instead of looking at all the good things you imagine about being with her, concentrate on all the bad things. All the niggling little things that had you been with her would have annoyed you more and more gradually over the years.

Just let all those little jealousies grow that you might have not considered when you were together. What was she up to at the office party .. does she find other men attractive .. blah blah. She's probably out shagging right now, after spending all that time with you, and realising she didn't want to be with you. All that freedom.

Let it all stew until you are sick of her and glad to see the back of her. Then you can concentrate on something that is worthy of your time and energy, whether that be other women, bikes, your hobbies, your friends.

[J.M.]

[Neorion]

1st of all why has no one given the best advice BCF can offer?

Find a random and "punch her in the tits and do her up the Gary"



Had to go through this years ago. We were not engaged but had talked about it.

Very messy break up and ripped me in pieces. Felt unable to function for a while but my mates got around and helped me through it.

I did try calling but it wasnt the outcome I wanted so I put a stop to that.
No facebook to speak of back then so didnt have that added pressure but I know the 1st thing I would have done is delete her.

Get back to being a lad again, spend your money on you. Dont answer to anyone (but dont become an arse of course).

Be a decent mate and yours will reciprocate. Take a holiday or set yourself a target item you want but couldnt because of X reasons.

Chillout DONT rush into another relationship for a while, just remember that you need time to find out who you are again. Until then you wont be the right person for someone else and you dont want to bring baggage with you.

I gave it time, met a girl I wanted to take a chance on 2 years later (stuff in between of course)

Now im happily married and know that what happened was for the best.

Saw my ex last year when I was out with the wife. It shook me up but not because I was still in love with her but you think of all these things to say when you see her again and it all goes to shit haha!

My wife was laughing about it as she has been through it herself.

Good luck
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VFR FI 2000- Shiney Red Thing
"some things man was never meant to know, for everything else there's Google"