Bike security anti toerag strategies?

[Ribenapigeon]

Two tracksuited fuckwits tried to get into my shed the night before my test. They failed though as the several hundred quids worth of marine plywood and iron mongery did its job. But I'm wondering if Smartwater is worth getting as well as my GPS devices, chains and cameras.

Any recomendations for any really sneaky shit as well?

[U_W v2.0]

anti climb paint
paint balloons
thermal cameras
electrified emergency roller shutter (to trap them inside so you can quietly beat them to a bloody pulp and feed the remains to the local pikeys)
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BCF's biggest cunt list: Cansa, Pits, Rob

[Ribenapigeon]

Surely if you were going to feed them to their local brethrin you would have to coat them in Colonel Saunders special batter first.

[mjn51]

try this
https://www.airpistol.co.uk/alarm_gun_tripwire_activated.htm
and scare the sh*t out of them

[UnknownStuntm...]

[Ribenapigeon]

Actaully I did think of putting giant hogweed sap on a handle.

[mjn51]

try this
https://www.airpistol.co.uk/alarm_gun_tripwire_activated.htm
and scare the sh*t out of them

[Joncrete Cungle]

Start from the inside outwards. Ground anchor, through the floor or Big tub / plant pot filled with bricks, bits of metal and concrete. Proper chains and padlocks from Almax or Pragmasis, kept tight, off the ground and locked through the frame if possible. Rape alarm & fishing line to pull the pin out if bike is moved without strategically placed fishing line being detached first. Baby monitor in the shed and receiver in the house where you will hear it.

Shed alarm and PIR light overlooking shed area. Can you beef up the shed door locks / hinges? How are the scrotes getting in? Through a gate or over a wall / fence? Lock gate, anti climb paint and spikes / carpet gripper rods. Get some Pyracantha planted where the scrotes are getting in, either in a trench or Big plant tubs where they jump down / climb over. Tripwire and blanks works well but remember it is there or you will need clean underwear.

If the scum bags know you have a bike in there, unfortunately I think there is a fair chance they will return better equipped in the future.

[stinkwheel]

If they've got to climb over a wall or fence to get to the shed, attach some carpet gripper rods to the top of the wall so they cut their fingers to ribbons as they try to pull themselves up.

It's something the police advise people to do because it wont do any lasting damage. Apparently smearing it with dogshit would not be in any way acceptable though.
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“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[cimbian]

The landlord at my last (very rural) office had trip-wires all over the place. Connected to the trip-wire was a pin holding a piece of hinged wood with a screw at the top.

Trip the wire and the piece of wood dropped, the screw struck the detonator in a shotgun cartridge that was partially in the ground. No damage done but bloody scarey when it went-off!
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22PlusY
Current: Moto Guzzi 1100 Breva. Previous: Honda XL650V TransAlp
Bearded, Balding, Born again Buddhist Biker

[Mark 37]

[Ribenapigeon]

My shed is very well protected. Reenforced panels bolted throguh and the frame reenforced with more wood over the hinges and locks which are protected from getting bolt cutters into the side etc. I have two cameras and a security light as well and some bastard prickly bushes which I used to try and cut back every year but not any more.

The baby monitor is a good idea I think i'll look for one. The shotgun shell is excellent but unfortunatly not really practical. Big airgun affair might work though.

One thing thouhg is if I ever get hold of anyone trying it on their face is going straight into the thorn bushes.

[cimbian]

[Rogerborg]

I can't think what Smartwater^tm will do to help you. By the time it could[*] come into play, your insurer will have already bought the bike off of you.

Best solution is to move, sadly. I leave my bikes garaged but unlocked, there's a Triumph that sits out down the end of the road, no bother.

[*] Ask your local cunstabulary if they'd even check for Smartwater^tm. Or know what it is.

Personally I'd be amazed if it's more than a bottle of really expensive tapwater and a deterrent sticker.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[TheSmiler]

If you don't mind the slight smell an old friend of mine used to use treacle and beer (mixed together) on his wall or anywhere thieves could use to climb up and into his garden. Absolutely stinks and its damn nightmare to remove from the clothing.

Might deter some away.
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CB125>CG125>GN125>ER5>K100RS>R1100RS>K100RS
A2 completed 23/07/15 Ready for the Golden Crisp Packet

[Flatbadger]

I have combination locks and equations on the wall waiting to be solved, in order to get the numbers.

They turn and run every time
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If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
You're in ISIS

[cimbian]

[Ribenapigeon]

I asked the local cops about Smartwater and they said they use it when they have inteligence of high value targets for theft (obviously my four grand bike dousent count). Also the local council use it. So I think I will get some.

[binge]

If they want it, they'll get it.

Best thing you can do is give them the most un-pleasant time possible while they try.

Regardless of chain size / strength, they will cut through most chains.
So rather than having one big fat expensive chain, have several smaller ones, routed quite awkwardly through the bike leaving it difficult to get croppers on.




Bem

[tactical_pancake]

[Ribenapigeon]

[Amnesty]

I saw someone online, who linked motion sensors to light and a speaker.

A huge flood light comes on, and a camera clicking noise several of them. lol
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I ride a scoot, so what? >_>

[U_W v2.0]

how about one of those football field floodlights linked to a PIR?

pretty sure if you get enough light in there they wont bother through not being able to see,

stick a warning on the outside of the door

"warning: intense blinding light in operation. Enter at Personal Risk"
____________________
BCF's biggest cunt list: Cansa, Pits, Rob

[Ribenapigeon]

Hmm lasers

[Nick_Giles]