Women - Motorbike - Facepalm.!

[Nick_Giles]

.
First let be apologise the the lady's that frequent this forum. You are the converted.

A few people here know that I am a photographer by trade. Today I had a shoot arranged with a model. Conversation goes as follows :-

................. So I will pick you up from the train station at 1:15

I hear you ride a motorbike don't you.?

Yes.

Will you please pick me up on your bike and not your car ........ I really have a 'thing' for motorbikes.

Yeahh. Sure, no problem if you would prefer.

Oh brill - Always wanted to go on the back of a motorbike.

You been on the back of a bike before.??????

No.!

Oh.! - Well you should be OK if you do as I tell you. But you will only be able to bring a very small bag with you that I can fit inside my jacket as you will need both hands and I don't have a rack fitted.

Hahahahaha. 'Rack'.! (giggles)

(**Giles begins to think this may not be a good idea.?) OK will see you at 1:15

1:15 arrives at the station and out she walks carrying a nice small bag. ............... But pulling a f()()kin suitcase behind her.!!!!! - Facepalm of epic gargantuan proportions.


Nick
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Peter Cook: "I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly".

[Killer Rat]

https://awesomebestpictures.com/fullsize/img_3WurI6FlrgQ.jpg



Did you bang her tho?
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No! No more talk! We go in! We kill! Kill! We kill 'em! They kill us, we kill them! Kill 'em! Kill 'em! Kill! Kill!
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cbf125 09', cbt passed 4/6/2010 - 28k miles - 1 major breakdown (stator)

[scorps]

Okay so you had the misfortune to be dealing with a thick woman who is a model, i am of the opinion that if you had the same conversation with 99 other women, chances are most of them, factoring in a few who would no doubt be as thick as this woman, theyd have brought a small bag only.
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Do not presume that I am male.

[SnowTigeress]

https://i1177.photobucket.com/albums/x349/snowtigeress/63768_10151317900411178_1186164387_n_zpsd3d5f5c9.jpg

Was this them?
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Real bikers build their own Renovated and Riding a 1986 Honda CB125TD-C called the Pup. Full Licence 13/09/2012, 1994 Moto Guzzi 750 Strada
Can-Do Girl that does spanners TOO!
TheSmiler: binning it is better than going around a roundabout the wrong way

[Nick_Giles]

[covent.gardens]

Did you fit it all on in the end?

[andym]

[Nick_Giles]

[Derivative]

[Teflon-Mike]

WHO STOLE THE COLOUR!

Reminds me of an incident many years ago; had had a party & a camera with a half used roll of black & white film in it I wanted to process; so, finished it off taking snaps at the party as you would....

Oh.. no... film... yeah, we don't use that any more! For those under 21, cameras used to take pictures on cylindrical 'memory cards', about the size of a c-cell battery.... oh shit you wont know what one of them is niether.... bugger it... a cylinder about an inch and half... sorry! 60mm tall, and about 20mm in diameter; but we didn't have computers to view the pictures on, so we had to take them to a shop, where they put them in a machine and printed the pictures onto little post-card sized bits of paper...... the 'films' used to take just 12, 24 or 36 pictures.....

Anyway; a week later; I've got the pics printed, and we're having a look at them with some of the people that were at the party.... when Dawn.... who was not the brioghtest spark on the best of days exclaimed "Who Stole all the Coplour!"

She had gone through the stack, and come accross the B&W's.....

I looked: "Oh, those are the black & white, pics Dawn!"
"I KNOW THAT!" She exclaimed impetiousely, "WHO STOLE THE COLOUR!"
I frowned, "No one, they are black & white pictures; taken on black and white film"
"NO You DONT!" She says "Your NOT getting me on THAT one.... I know better than to believe your tales of some 'special' kind of film! WHO stole the Colour!"

What do you say? I mean... just WHAT do you say? Of course, others tried to explain, confirming I wasn;t winding her up, that you COULD buy black and white film, but by that point it was a 'conspiracy' and she was yelling at me "You've got them ALL in on this, HAVEN'T you! WHO STOLE THE COLOUR!"

Went on for a good half hour, until I gave up; and went and got an old bellows camera....

"OK Dawn, you got me. They are Black & White like old fasioned photo's.... becouse I used an old fasioned camera... here!"

"That's better! She said! Why didn't you just say that in the first place! I'm not THAT stupid, you know"!
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My Webby'Tef's-tQ, loads of stuff about my bikes, my Land-Rovers, and the stuff I do with them!
Current Bikes:'Honda VF1000F' ;'CB750F2N' ;'CB125TD ( 6 3 of em!)'; 'Montesa Cota 248'. Learner FAQ's:= 'U want to Ride a Motorbike! Where Do U start?'

[_mjs_]

Did you get a reacharound tho???
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Previous Bikes: 2006 Honda XR125L > 2003 Yamaha DT125R > 1996 Honda CB500
Current bikes: 1997 Kawasaki ZZR 600 E5 > 2006 Honda Varadero XL125V

[Nick_Giles]

[Nick_Giles]

[Benno]

[Carl_steveo]

I was watching a tv programme with my other half called something like "I married my plastic surgeon". Now the woman in the programme was some state, utterly munting. She got her vagina out and it was like 10 cm's further up her front than it should be.

My girlfriend then exclaimed in horror and this woman's vagina asking what's wrong with it. I replied saying nothing and that it was normal and that infact my gf's vagina was incorrectly placed. She was utterly convinced, paranoid and self conscious about her lady bits until I let the cat out the bag. She still kicks off when I tell people.
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Current: Honda Nsr 125
Live: Sunderland
Luke "cant be arsed to read your post, but suck my balls anyway."

[_mjs_]

[Joenitro]

[Nick_Giles]

[Teflon-Mike]