So I was meant to go despatch riding yesterday, looked out the window at 07.30, and realised that:
a) The hangover that I'd anticipated from the previous nights Xmas party I attended was somewhat worse than anticipated...
and
b) The roads were covered in this strange white stuff
And a combination of the two above factors would not be making for happy reading in the following post so I decided to do the sensible thing and go back to bed for a couple of hours.
Having being reawakened at 9ish by my sleep-at-weird-times-insomniac-flatmate, a combination of the urge to be sick and a culmination of a whole nights beer farts, forced my butt out of bed and out the room to safety.
"So, what to do with today?"
[Homer] Large Starbucks Creme Brulee Latte with cream...mmmmmm.... [/Homer]
Money is tight, but fortunately my friend manages the local coffee shop so that wasn't an issue. Whilst supping on my oh so tasty, but probably oh so bad for you beverage as I was wandering back home along the Lewes Road, my eye was caught by the rather...odd looking three wheeled vehicle parked outside of C D Scooters....and a thought struck me:
"If I had one of those, I'd have been able to work today"
I walked in, asked for a test ride, and one was arranged for two hours later! Simple, easy, no pushy sales tactics and no bullsh*t, to put it simply - I've used them for little bits and pieces before, but CD Scooters on the Lewes road on Brighton have now gained the Imonster seal of approval.
Two hours go by, the hangover has receded to an acceptable level, and I get kitted up and wander the 5 mins back to CDS - the bike has been prepped, I present my license, and other bit of photo ID and I'm ready to go! Except..
"Suspension lock? What the F*ck?!"
Ooh boy, I'm not only riding a bike today, but I'm also having to
learn how to ride again. Bum.
So, The Gilera Fuoco 500:
https://www.adesivi-moto.com/immagini-adesivi/gilera-fuoco-500-ie.jpg
https://static.blogo.it/motoblog/prova-del-gilera-fuoco-500/gilera_fuoco_500_01.jpg
Is it a bike? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a snowmobile? WTF is this thing?!
Basically, it's as you might expect - a trike, that rides like a bike - only it doesn't....but it does! It's an odd little creature. Questions answered by the sales chap:
"Look, you ride it like a normal bike"
"Yes, it does lean"
"I promise you, the handlebars are the widest part of the bike"
etc, etc.
And so initial thoughts. Firstly, this bike is deceptively fast - I found this out sooner than anticipated, when within 5 minutes of getting on the bike I was confronted by the oh so familiar silhouette of one of our officers of the law, leaned up against his Landrover, pointing some sort of gun at me. I didn't panic too much, on account of not being Brazilian and travelling on a motorcycle and not the tube, but thought I'd do well to have a sly glance at the speedo just in case, which is showing just over 60 mph....which would be ok, were I not in the inside lane of a clear dual carriageway that happens to not turn from a 40 zone into a NSL zone for another half a mile or so. Bum. Again....
And so to the brakes. Yep, they're pretty good too - Hurrah! Though frankly, I think the fact that I was astride a somewhat odd looking vehicle distracted the officers attention somewhat. The expression that he had on his face gave that game away - and it was a look that I got used to throughout the day. It took a long time to get used to riding, if I'm honest. I can normally jump on a bike and feel relatively at home on it within a few miles but this one was different. The first bike comparison I could make to it as a point of reference as regards to the actual riding of the thing, was that it was a big Honda - in fact, it felt very similar to a Deauville, which is no bad thing, if that's what you're after. And so I started riding it like a bike, if not like a Deauville - which was a mistake, within 20 miles I was starting to feel distinctly underwhelmed by it.
A stop off at [local motorcycle training school], figuring that my colleagues would fancy a close look of this strange wee beastie - and look and play and laugh they did, and so to Chapter II:
Having spent a wee bit of time in the "playground" at [local motorcycle training school], it was a lot easier to get an idea of what this bike was actually about. Firstly, does it actually lean? Oh god yes, as well as any any bike I've ever ridden round there and certainly in a much more confident and stable way - the only thing limiting the lean being the ridiculous lack of ground clearance - seems stupid to develop a bike as stable as this, to then have it grounding out as soon as you begin to push it a bit. Do the brakes work? Yes, and no....this thing should come with ABS as standard - yes, it'll stop quicker than your average bike
if your braking technique is good. If not, you'll be locking up both the front and back with monotonous regularity.
*sigh* Best learn how to use the suspension lock and handbrake then....this was hard initially. get down to below 6mph, with the revs below 2.5k, the "lock" light on the dashboard will start flashing, and you simply flick the switch that's conveniently situated on your right thumb to lock the suspension thus negating the need to put your feet down when stopped. You then simply pull away as normal when you want to get going again and when the revs get above 2.5k again the suspension unlocks automatically. Simple, huh? No no no - Hilariously, this l'il b@stard will lock the suspension even when the bike has lost it's momentum and is now tipped in at a 45 degree angle - great fun when you're pointed down a hill with a great stream of traffic queued up behind you and honking, and yer desperately trying to style it out and get the motherf*cker going again without being possibly the first person in history to fall off a three wheeled bike....and don't even think about blipping the throttle at traffic lights (Think it through and learn from my mistake). However, once you get the hang of it, and get your stops and pull aways right, the feeling is awesome.
And to final thoughts:
I like this bike! I love the styling, and I love the stability - if you put a decent rider on one of these against a decent rider on any sports 600 through the twisties, the dude on the sports 600 would get out cornered every time - no doubt (and then mullered on the straights but nevermind.) I learned to love the suspension lock. I
loved the fact that you can filter on one of these just about as effectively as you can on a two wheeler, once you convince yourself that the handlebars are indeed the widest part of the bike.
Me and [ex colleague] were chatting at [training school] yesterday, trying to work out who and what this bike is actually
for and neither of us could come up with a definitive answer. Today I got my answer - me! Another days despatch riding, another roundabout, and an absolute clusterf*ck of bad luck, sh*t road surface, cold tyres and an error on my part nearly wiped me out for good. After I'd opened my eyes again, I realised I was still alive and rode on shaking my head ruefully but the point is this; there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place on this bike. As a tool for professional riders in an industry where a day off because of rubbish weather means a day where you don't earn, this is pretty much perfect for the job - if it weren't £5.5K. *sigh*
I wasn't a great fan of the brakes - in a way it's overbraked if that make sense? ABS should come as standard on this bike. I didn't like the lack of ground clearance, however this is caused by the centre stand, a piece which is frankly unnecessary on this particular bike anyway. Removal of this will apparently give you an extra 10 degrees of lean angle! I wanna have a go at one without a C/S fitted. It suffers from a major lack of luggage space - a major oversight on behalf of Gilera - the boot space is tiny! And, no, the l'il boot light and power output socket don't make up for it! You can buy a 42 litre top box to fit it for 130 quid extra though, so that's ok then....[/sarcastic mode off]. And it needs a higher screen as standard, not for an extra 80 quid... The bike is a little bit too small for me, and I'm only 5 foot 10! "Dear Gilera, please give us more legroom for next Xmas. Fanks. Imonster." And the biggest gripe is with the engine. As I've made no secret of, I prefer smaller capacity bikes, that I can rev the backside off, and thus still have fun. But this engine is a wee bit too slow for me - nice and quick up to 60mph, but then...stops. I find it a tad frustrating when I'm happily cruising at 80 ish till I hit an uphill stretch, and the bugger starts slowing down...rubbish.
Give this bike an 800 cc engine, more ground clearance and a wee bit more legroom and I'd have one in an instant. Hell, I'd have one now, but would need to play with it for a wee while to make it mine...this thing is begging for a good looking aftermarket exhaust...
Overall? Good, very, very good in fact, but for the money it's lacking a bit too much to make it a viable purchase at the moment. But if they make a slightly uprated version or when they start filtering down to the second hand market? Gimme, gimme, gimme...
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