Long term marriage saddos/monogamy = pointless.

[Mondeo Man]

At this time of year, we have lots of vox pops including oldies, in their 70's, married for 30+ years....

"What's the secret of a good marriage" we ask...

But since when was mere duration the same as quality?

When ever you see these vox pops, the man looks beaten by life. Usually has license you make glib comments: "I give she takes" and we all laugh it off, not daring to ask more because we ourselves are trapped in the cultural assumption, and the couple certainly don't want to think about it.

So does the woman, to a degree. The "secret" to a good marriage is actually the ingredients of a dull marriage: lack of ambition, lack of excitement, lack of diversity, stuck-in-a-rut-ness.

I think there is something inhuman about wanting to spend your life with one person. We have this idea that it is somehow a sign of success to be with one person. To me, it's either morally neutral, or it's a sign of failure. We have one life. There is a whole world of cultures, of different people, different experiences, to reduce your existence to a self contained dyad - you, the other person, probably copious mounts of tv watching - it almost giving up on life. There is an element of social control to that: society functions when we pair off into dyads. But more so than ever in human history, "the world is our oyster"....

We all know the real reason people stay in long term marriages - security and familiarity. Familiarity is powerful for humans. Especially women. But it's not necessarily a good thing in the sine that it "closes" off a whole planet of possibility.

We all know, as well, that no man would share his bed with a 50-80 yr old (opposed to a 18-30) year old, if he had a say in the matter. And although a man might want a lifelong companion, no man should want just one, if he had a say in the matter, sure he'd have the good listener of whatever age and looks who "gets him", but if things still work the way nature intended, he'd also have a nameless series of blondes and brunettes <30....

What I'm saying is, the idea that long marriages are good, assumes that security and familiarity is good. Without some sort of larger framework, a model of human nature, there is no basis for this framework. If you argue, contrariwise - and this a perfectly valid alternative if you have a differing model of human nature - that diversity of experience is good, then long marriages are actually a very bad choice.

The idea of being stuck with the same woman for over 5 years sounds like hell. The only possibly justification (crudity alert) would be if the pussy was good and I thought it unlikely I could get any more elsewhere. For most men, this explains being with a woman 5-15 years, after that 15 + years it's all over: pussy is rank, and if not rich, there's no options elsewhere. So you're utterly stuck, putting a brave face on it: that's long term marriage. At this point, the man is broken, beaten by life, as per the vox pops we see. Of course, you won't hear this on 14.2.


tldr: Is sticking with one Rover that goes and goes, starts first time after 30 years, better than seeing how many exotics your can have a ride in?

[scorps]

Dear god have you been dumped again or something, what a miserable specimin you are
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Do not presume that I am male.

[Hetzer]

You assume your needs and desires never evolve, that you'll always be a shallow lustful cock-on-legs. It ain't so of course, other considerations develop with mental age, a complex layering of new needs and desires.

I wouldn't swap my partner (my wife) for any amount of money, for any other woman, even if she ended up in a wheelchair tomorrow. Our relationship has gone way way beyond the merely physical (which has plenty of life left in it regardless).

You're still young enough to be thinking a perspective is eternally fixed. It's not.
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[Tungtvann]

You think I'd still be able to go shagging around getting all sorts of young pussy when I'm 50+?! Nope, I'll just be a sad and lonely old man with no kids and no one who gives a shit about me.

[fredsredhat]

your rants are just boring. your sad self obsessed opinions are not fact, like you think they are. some men dont want a long term relationship. some do. some men prefer older women. some prefer younger. everyone's different, accept that as fact and get over yourself.

[Lord Percy]

I agreed with OP, until I considered my own relationship which just ended. We both agreed quite strongly that we just weren't ready and need to have our own lives before being a serious pair. So now I can do what the fuck I want, and so can she, and we can find each other in the years to come. That, for the time being, is ideal for me and for her.

Also. If we do find each other again (modern world - won't lost connection), we will have done so much, experienced so much, achieved so much and will be generally 'greater' people than we are now.

So yeah. Marriage is stupid when you're young and haven't lived. It's true that it's a massive ball and chain. So.... go and live... get married when you're done doing your OWN thing!

Also. I don't know if it's a genetic/instinctual/evolutionary thing, but it really fucks me off when people think it's cool to go on about rampant sexuality and how they think it's ok to shag whoever they want as much as possible - guys or girls. Way too hippy for me. I hate hate hate the pagan concept of marriage, etc but these monogamy values won't have been created out of thin air. There'll be an evolutionary base to the concept.

So yeah - nothing wrong with a life partner at all. Swans do it!

Also - my take on the old bored couples - they married in an era where a man would be blinded by love and would take a girls hand in marriage before his brain cooled off and saw reality again. These days we're more cautious about these things really - in fact loads of people don't get married at all, but still have a relationship, and a life, which is the same as being married. I do reckon there is something of a cultural shift happening regarding marriage and life partners - these days it's much more possible to end up in the perfect situation - with a best friend and (wahey, bonus) permanent sex partner!

[hellkat]

Perhaps its that marriage per se is good (or long term relationships) are good.

But perhaps people should not look at it as being a permanent thing, where you are welded together, in misery. It does need to be an environment where both can grow. And if one grows beyond the other, then the acceptability of parting company should not be "painful" - because expectations of "foreverness" have been laid at the start - again (as in the other thread) these things have been pre-determined by previous cultural leaders, formed perhaps by our society, but is it a society which is forced into these believes for the convenience of "those who govern" - and we do them because we think it is "the right thing" to do?

Expectations of reviewing the relationship should be made at the start, not expectations of continuing it forever, regardless.

I think the concept of "till death do us part" is a bit wrong. Okay, so nobody really wants to die alone. But do they? I have to say that the closer I get to dying, the less I really want my "loved ones" to see me in a state of less than the rude good health I have always managed to display. It frightens me that they will be upset and revulsed by my dependence/(incontinence) )

I suppose, though, that I do agree with the "in sickness and in health" thing - cos if you are still interested in being with a person, then if they are unwell you would want to support them. But if you have already gone beyond caring when they are unwell, you should not still be there.

If only people could understand that a long term relationship should be reviewable, perhaps like an annual assessment with your job? (I dunno, just making things up as I go along, throwing out ideas): perhaps we should be schooled to look at our relationships and say "what am I doing right/wrong/how can I improve our mutual experience so that it stays an adventure rather than a task?"
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Slacker24seve...]

Do cheer up old chap.
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Triumph Daytona 675 track bike + girlfriend's Honda Hornet 600
Selling a hack/winter bike for less than a grand? PM me.
Banger rallies are ace

[arry]

[mr jamez]

NB, do not take life advice from Mondeo man.
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NSR 125F > BROS 400 > NC30 > BROS 400 > Trumpet S4 > '97 VFR 750

[Pete.]

Another cheery Sunday morning post from Mogadon Man
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a.k.a 'Geri'

132.9mph off and walked away. Gear is good, gear is good, gear is very very good

[nowhere.elysium]

Stop eating my bandwidth with this insipid dross. If it's all so meaningless, feel free to curl up and expire. The rest of us have lives to get on with.
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[The Shaggy D.A.]

I'm guessing when your relationships are charged by the quarter hour, the prospect of a long term one frightens the wallet.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Redoko]

TL;DR

https://www.troll.me/images/spider-man/op-is-a-fag-thumb.jpg
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"Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing."
Sudika Sportsman SK50QT > Gilera DNA50 > Honda CBR125 RW7 > Kawasaki Zephyr750 > Suzuki GSXR600 > Honda Hornet CB600F '51

[reckless_b]

we lived together and had a child before we married, I'll never her as I love my ............house
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40 years on the road on and sometimes off bikes with a very recent OFF

[reckless_b]

[Lord Percy]

[carlosthejack...]

[Polarbear]

Oh dear, you are a depressing excuse Mr Mondeoman.

So how long before we get a mondeoman check list, a la warped.
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Triumph Trophy Launch Edition

[biker7]

Your women obviously disappoint you Mondeoman. It's probably mutual! I've been married 38 years - I pulled a cracker; so did she! You have probably found the women you deserve and the women haven't found theirs, yet. You have most likely been disappointing for a while now - chin up, perhaps with a bit more effort you might make someone happy.

PS - try changing your car; that could be part of the problem! I mean "Have you got space for the keys to a Mondeo in your handbag?" is not much of a chat up line is it?
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Swansea area
Fat Bob (2019)

[Rogerborg]

[recman]

I've been married 23 years.
She still lets me do her up the Gary*.
Its all good.














*bullshit

[Suntan Sid]

Ok, I'll bite:-

[thx1138]

I've been married 14 years.

My wife is out on her motor bike somwhere.

I just watched Top Gear.

[scorps]