Dad is not well, cant help but expect the worst.

[EazyDuz]

I have a very, VERY small family, really just me, my parents and my sister. I havnt even seen my sister in about 3 years as she just disowned the family but thats not important.

My dad has angina pectoris, and has developed a weak heart valve. I dont know all the details as to be honest i'm a bit scared to ask, and i'd find myself internet researching it all the time which will create further worry.
Its all happened within the last year, and has progressively got worse. I'm still awake now because i heard him get up at about 11.30pm, went downstairs and he said he couldnt sleep due to a bad pain in his chest. The doctors gave him this strong spray which you spray in your mouth which thins the blood and relaxes everything. He didnt look or sound well. I'm shit scared of even going to sleep now, he will be going for an ultrasound tomorrow i think and to be put on a treadmill for tests. Been reading this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angina_pectoris

and its just made me more worried.
Could do with some advice should anything serious happen, as ive never lost anyone in the family and i cant imagine coping well at all with it.
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To shreds you say? Tss tss tss

[_Iain_]

What happens is gonna happen regardless of how much you worry about it. Best you just make the most of what you've got & keep an eye out for him.

If it helps, im pretty sure i know what you're going through. The old mans got that spray stuff himself, has had a pacemaker fitted last year after complaining of chest pains & blacking out. Even now complains of being tired all the time, cant breathe sometimes etc. Not great, but you've gotta learn to block it out. Make sure he gets the correct medical attention as and when it's needed & try not to stress him out. If he needs a hand lifting stuff - do it etc.

What good is worrying yourself going to do either of you? Block it out & man up a bit eh
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Please be aware that the above post may be full of complete nonsense.
Riding: '07 KTM Duke II, Baotian BT49QT-20 Driving: '88 Volvo 340

[EazyDuz]

[stewslash]

is your dad really that bad? do you think its really that serious that you might loose hime sometime soon ?
if so my advice would be to say how you feel , and let him know how much you love him
i am burring my dad this Wednesday and i wont lie its pretty shit, my dad had a rare brain condition that caused him to progressively get worse and worse over a matter of years, i dont really know how long its been since he could hear or understand what i was saying to him
and to be honest i felt a bit of a tit talking to him not knowing if he could hear/understand what i was saying , so as i said if it is as bad as you fear, say what you feel now before its too late
on the plus side a small family means a lot less bickering and arguing re arrangements with the family, its all ready started my end with regards to siblings feeling left out / not having their say

[Benno]

All the best for you and your father.

Here's some advice: stop reading about it on the internet. In the past when certain members of my family have been ill, I've done the same. When my uncle got a certain very nasty disease, I spent hours reading about it online; everything you read is a horror story, nothing has a good ending. However, in real life, this is not the case. The only stories that make it to the net are the dramatic ones, just as is the case with the news; bad news sells, good news is boring, according to the news media. You hear about the psycho who killed a dog, but not about the kind gent who fed a stray dog.

My glandular fever was a case in point; when I was told what it was I looked it up. The internet told me it would last anywhere from 2-10 months, and I was pissed off. But it was gone in two weeks.

I'm afraid that's all I can say. Don't read the horror stories on the internet, just enjoy every day you can with your father. It may not end up as bad as you fear.
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I'm autistic. That means I'm smarter than you.

[_Iain_]

However, should the worst happen & he does end up in hospital, just make sure you go visit. My grandfather was taken ill & ended up in hospital, i'd gone to visit him after a few days & only got to see him for about five minuites.

I told him i'd be back tomorrow to have a proper chat etc, but that it was good to see he was doing okay. Arrived at the hospital the next day, 15mins before visiting hours to find my mother in tears near the entrance. He'd died about 45mins earlier, they'd found a stomach ulcer & some other stuff wrong earlier that day. I'm glad i did go up there, even if it was for five minuites & he wasnt realy with it anyway. Apparently the plan was that they were going to get the whole family up there in the evening as they thought he had about 48hrs.

But realy - stop working yourself up over it & as said above the internets full of worst case scenarios. I'm sure over half of the forum members should statisticly be dead if you read into the dangers of motorcycles propperly. Maybe live for the moment would be a better way of putting it?
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Please be aware that the above post may be full of complete nonsense.
Riding: '07 KTM Duke II, Baotian BT49QT-20 Driving: '88 Volvo 340

[Flip]

[DottyDuck]

Sorry to hear what you and your dad are going through eazyduz.. must be horrible as others have said.. tell him how much you love him and be honest! Dont be embarrassed about it..

And also agreed about not doing research about what is wrong.. fair enough ask your dad.. i bet if you brought it up to him he would probably feel better for being able to talk about it and it may make it clearer for him too. If you feel you cant talk to him then maybe search his condition but look at the nhs website .. this can ve a helpful tool without ot being too hardcore and dramatic like other sites..

[DottyDuck]

Sorry to hear what you and your dad are going through eazyduz.. must be horrible as others have said.. tell him how much you love him and be honest! Dont be embarrassed about it..

And also agreed about not doing research about what is wrong.. fair enough ask your dad.. i bet if you brought it up to him he would probably feel better for being able to talk about it and it may make it clearer for him too. If you feel you cant talk to him then maybe search his condition but look at the nhs website .. this can ve a helpful tool without ot being too hardcore and dramatic like other sites..

[Flatbadger]

[cimbian]

Firstly, sorry to hear about your Dad, it must be tough.

Secondly, as has been said here by others, make the most of this time you have for both your benefits.

It is important to keep in mind that everyone is born to live a finite life and it is how we interact with each other during that time that is important.

Tell you dad how you feel about him, it will make him feel better and you will not be in the position later in life when you realise there are things you wanted to say but didn't, and I can tell you that those regrets are some of the hardest to deal with.

Finally, when you are with your Dad make sure you are visiting him and not the illness. All too often people that have a terminal illness want to enjoy what time they have. they are reminded daily of their prognosis whenever they take a pill, feel a pain or visit the doctor. What they need from their loved-ones is happiness.

So, in short, talk/share feelings and then remember "visit the patient, not the illness".

Good luck with everything.
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22PlusY
Current: Moto Guzzi 1100 Breva. Previous: Honda XL650V TransAlp
Bearded, Balding, Born again Buddhist Biker

[Alpha-9]

He just needs to do his valve clearances
you'll need a 0.08mm feeler gauge, your penis may suffice

Hi i'm the comic relief for the evening
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Fzr-600 1999

[Flatbadger]

[angryjonny]

[The Shaggy D.A.]

My mum had angina; she carried the amyl nitrite spray for when she had a bad bout of it. It started when she was in her 50s, she died of pneumonia at the age of 73.

Speak to your dad; he might be grateful of the opportunity.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
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[Rigga]

[Rigga]

[Shaft]

I entirely disagree with those who say you shouldn't look at the internet, but you do need to know what to look for.

Over the last 6 or 7 years, I've had to deal with both my parents suffering from degenerative condtions and without the internet, I would've been totally in the dark, with no idea of what to expect.

This leaves you at a distinct disadvantage, when it comes to treatment and care; you will be reliant on medical staff to help you and whilst some of them are very good, lots of them aren't and you may well find yourself having to make important decisions without a good enough knowledge of the facts.

In addition, it will help you to care directly for your father, because you will have an idea of what is to come and what to do as the condition progresses (or stands still/improves).

So, look for medical fact websites, societies that deal with the specific ailment and blogs set up by sufferers.

Dealing with serious illness is tough enough, it doesn't help anyone to try and do it blindfolded, with one hand tied behind your back.
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Things get better with age; I'm close to being magnificent........
20 RE Interceptor, 83 Z1100A3, 83 GS650 Katana
WooHoo, I'm a Man Point Millionaire! https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=234035

[hellkat]

Suddenly - at some point in all our lives - we are faced with the certainty that not only our parents, but we ourselves are going to die - and there's fuck all we can do about that.

Its quite scary to realise that the people you have looked up to for almost your whole life, those towers of strength, power and authority, masters of your whole universe during your childhood, are actually only feeble humans with fickle bodies that let them down horrendously as they age.

And then when we see them "failing", we realise its going to happen to us, too.

The only way I have learnt to cope with this is to make light of it, and not to worry my socks off all the time, e.g.

The other day I had a conversation with my sister who (creeping up towards 50 this year) is having stomach bug problems, not keeping anything down, lack of appetite, large weight loss - and she says the doctor thinks it is "irritable bowel syndrome" so she has to go for an endoscopy. I pointed out to her something which neither of us wanted to examine too closely: that she should mention the fact that our maternal aunt had died of bowel cancer. She didn't even acknowledge what I had said, but went on to say "I wonder which one of us kids will 'go' first..."

The potential grimness of a statement like that caused me to just go into idiocy mode, so I said, "Well just because I am the oldest, doesn't mean I want to go first!"

And we left it at that...

Life, living, being ill, and dying is *fucking* hard.
Annoyingly, life is a terminal illness.

Angina can go on for years without anything major bad happening, its very uncomfortable; I'm glad I don't have to take that damn sublingual spray (yet) - it gives me horrendous headaches

I hope you get to spend enough time with your dad before anything too serious happens to him xx
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[AlanC]

[EazyDuz]

To update he had pain in his chest again this evening so he was taken to hospital. A dose of morphine and he looked and sounded just fine. He is currently waiting to see a doctor who will decide where to go from here.
Just got home, i'm trying not to get too upset about it. I'm just glad he is in good care now.

The most likely surgery will be a 'stent' inserted in the artery. I have no idea how serious that surgery is.
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To shreds you say? Tss tss tss

[cimbian]

[EazyDuz]

Also lol at Bazza rating this thread as funny.
I hope to god that karma comes around, and Bazza crashes his bike and breaks his neck. Forums biggest cunt

Thanks for the replies everyone though, it is reassuring.
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To shreds you say? Tss tss tss

[Shaft]

It's up to you whether or not you read this, but it's from the British Heart Foundation, so no scaremongering or complex medical language.

https://www.bhf.org.uk/heart-health/treatment/coronary-angioplasty-and-stent.aspx

As cimbian says, it's considered pretty routine these days.
____________________
Things get better with age; I'm close to being magnificent........
20 RE Interceptor, 83 Z1100A3, 83 GS650 Katana
WooHoo, I'm a Man Point Millionaire! https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=234035

[Alpha-9]