Here, have a laugh at my expense.

[c_dug]

I was riding home from work this afternoon, I stopped at some traffic lights with my visor down, just as the opposite directions lights went red I popped my visor up as it was fogging slightly. Not two seconds later my light went to the yellow and red and I pulled off and

SPLAT

A pigeon SHAT STRAIGHT IN MY EYE!

Honestly, direct hit.

I pulled up about half a mile down the road to clear what I could from my face with a piece of paper in my bag. I jumped off the bike so hastily that I didn't switch the headlight and indicator off. 5 minutes later I was ready to go but had flattened the battery. So shitty faced and hot and stuffy I had to bump start the bike.

Anyway I've been home half an hour and have washed it out and cleaned my face b̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶N̶H̶S̶ ̶D̶i̶r̶e̶c̶t̶ ̶l̶a̶d̶y̶ ̶s̶a̶i̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶A̶&̶E̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶c̶a̶s̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶e̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶, now I'm going to drink beer, watch porn and eat raw steak like a man.

FML.

Edited for man point purposes.
____________________
I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[shereen]

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

-10?!? Minus TEN?!?!? Try a gazillion, then add a several googleplex - and you'd still be out by a factor of infinity cubed.
____________________
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent."

Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125

[Dave_R]

You expect the internet to believe it's actually pigeon poo?

Is this what you told your other half?

[Ja7]

Mega laughs at your expense, it not even summer yet, just wait for all those flys

[c_dug]

Rather that than lose my sight, I'm told Histoplasmosis is possible from bird poo, and lets face it if any bird will be carrying a disease it will be a London pigeon.
____________________
I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[Scutter]

That's really funny! Getting covered in bird shit and ringing NHS Direct! I crashed my bike a few weeks ago and just went home like I imagine most do - I don't think I would admit to ringing the NHS for that!
____________________
Current bike: FJR1300
Previous: SS50, GS50, TS50, GP125, NS125, GSX250, GPZ305, GPz550 81 twin shock, GPZ550 UniTrack, GSX550es, 2x GPZ600r, GPZ1000rx, v Strom 650 GT

[c_dug]

[zebbedy]

'i'm not coming into work tomorrow, sorry I've got the flu'


'man flu?'


'nah bird flu lololo.'

[Gazz]

Could have been worse.

Think yourself lucky it wasnt a seagull.

[c_dug]

Sod it, it feels fine, if it gets worse over night I'll head to A&E tomorrow.
____________________
I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[Timmeh]

lolz.


____________________
GSXR400 x2 | '94 RVF400 | '93 TZR125 4DL (again)
20:22:30 BLUEX5: i would love to be forced to undergo a**l plugging with different sizes
20:48:18 Temeluchus: comp you hunk of smouldering homos3x you

[yen_powell]

Surely being hit by bird shit is good luck. Quick buy a lottery ticket.
____________________
Blackmail is a nasty word........but not as nasty as phlegm!
XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits

[Benno]

[scorps]

better than my mate getting an angry wasp in his helmet, ooh he was lumpy
____________________
Do not presume that I am male.

[DJS]

[TheBikerStig]

[dransy]