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Punography!

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LittleLucy
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Joined: 20 May 2013
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PostPosted: 15:49 - 29 Aug 2013    Post subject: Punography! Reply with quote
Come on then you 'orrible lot, I'll start you off:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra
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Tungtvann
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Joined: 07 Dec 2012
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PostPosted: 15:54 - 29 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Gayyyyyyyyy.
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Shinigami
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Joined: 14 Feb 2012
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PostPosted: 15:56 - 29 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Rolf Harass
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garth
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Joined: 15 Dec 2004
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PostPosted: 16:14 - 29 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Pics of OP?
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Shaft
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Joined: 27 Dec 2010
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PostPosted: 16:35 - 29 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Have you heard the one about the agnostic, insomniac, dyslexic, who lays in bed at night, wondering if there really is a dog?
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The Shaggy D.A.
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Joined: 12 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: 17:25 - 29 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Or the dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse?
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Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5
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Fisty
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Joined: 11 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: 17:33 - 29 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
I sold my soul to santa.
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pepperami
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Joined: 17 Jan 2010
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PostPosted: 17:35 - 29 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Did you about the dyslexic bank-robber who was unsure about what to say when he rushed into the bank with a gun, so he wrote it down.

He then ran into the bank, pulled his piece of paper out, read it and then shouted " Air in the hands motherstickers , this is a fuck up" Shocked
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 17:36 - 29 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
man walks into a bar and it hurt! ...... it was an iron bar.
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Karmallama
Two Stroke Sniffer



Joined: 20 Feb 2013
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PostPosted: 00:45 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
I went to the butchers yesterday and bet him £50 that he couldn't pass me two sirloins from the top shelf without using his ladder.

"No bet..." he said "the stakes are too high."
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sickpup
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Joined: 21 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: 00:49 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
What the difference between a potato and your mum?

Ones a King Edward the others a cum encrusted whore.
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recman
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Joined: 26 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 00:49 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
I bought four candles the other day.

Young'uns google it.
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supZ
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Joined: 03 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: 00:55 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
A friend told me today I have a revenge complex..



.. we'll see about that
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Lord Percy
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Joined: 03 Aug 2012
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PostPosted: 01:17 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Lost my eyes in a fight. I was blinded by rage.

Met my new girlfriend at the zoo. I think she's a keeper.

Had a joint up a ladder. Felt pretty high.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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Joined: 22 Nov 2012
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PostPosted: 06:25 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Lord Percy wrote:
Had a joint up a ladder. Felt pretty high.


Should've rung for help then.
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Lord Percy
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Joined: 03 Aug 2012
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PostPosted: 06:58 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
Lord Percy wrote:
Had a joint up a ladder. Felt pretty high.


Should've rung for help then.


Didn't need to. The emergency services were already on high alert. I thought I'd be ok, bud it was too late. I needed the ambulance and fire service in the end; the rescue was a joint effort. Soon the police were involved too, it got a bit hostile and I took a bifta the face. "Weed been looking for you for a while.", they said. Turns out I was wanted for distributing cannabis, which for them was a big deal. "Sheesha." I said, as the guilty verdict was finally passed. A few days later I was stoned to death.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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Joined: 22 Nov 2012
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PostPosted: 08:17 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Sounds like you toke quite a blow there.
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Shinigami
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Joined: 14 Feb 2012
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PostPosted: 08:36 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:


Didn't need to. The emergency services were already on high alert. I thought I'd be ok, bud it was too late. I needed the ambulance and fire service in the end; the rescue was a joint effort. Soon the police were involved too, it got a bit hostile and I took a bifta the face. "Weed been looking for you for a while.", they said. Turns out I was wanted for distributing cannabis, which for them was a big deal. "Sheesha." I said, as the guilty verdict was finally passed. A few days later I was stoned to death.


We have a winner Laughing
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"Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.
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recman
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Joined: 26 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 10:28 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Lord Percy wrote:
Lost my eyes in a fight. I was blinded by rage.

Met my new girlfriend at the zoo. I think she's a keeper.

Had a joint up a ladder. Felt pretty high.


You are Tim Vine and I claim my tenner.
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DrDonnyBrago
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Joined: 03 Jan 2010
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PostPosted: 10:44 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
recman wrote:
I bought four candles the other day.

Young'uns google it.




Got any Os?
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The999Kid
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Joined: 11 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 12:41 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
DrDonnyBrago wrote:
recman wrote:
I bought four candles the other day.

Young'uns google it.




Got any Os?


And a bathroom plug....
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The Artist
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Joined: 06 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 12:49 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
It's hard to share puns with kleptomaniacs because they're always taking things literally.
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The Artist
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PostPosted: 12:50 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
My 62nd birthday party was only one minute long
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The Artist
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PostPosted: 12:51 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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Joined: 22 Nov 2012
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PostPosted: 16:31 - 30 Aug 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Shinigami wrote:
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:


Didn't need to. The emergency services were already on high alert. I thought I'd be ok, bud it was too late. I needed the ambulance and fire service in the end; the rescue was a joint effort. Soon the police were involved too, it got a bit hostile and I took a bifta the face. "Weed been looking for you for a while.", they said. Turns out I was wanted for distributing cannabis, which for them was a big deal. "Sheesha." I said, as the guilty verdict was finally passed. A few days later I was stoned to death.


We have a winner Laughing


Yes - I'm very proud of that. Mr. Green
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Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 13 years, 49 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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