Farting on motorbikes

[Bigmal]

Does it make you go faster...?? Discuss.
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Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do about it.

[uberkron]

Not if the engine inhales the fumes. If you were a forceful farter, then every action has an equal and opposite force. Definitely measure this with the ass-dyno.
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i ride a zip 50 2smoke. It overtakes a hundred times a day.

[Bigmal]

Interesting. I would have thought that the force (if as you say a forceful fart) would indeed propel you through a space and time equilibrium making your speed projection in a straight line much faster than normal. Thus farting whilst going round a bend is NEVER to be attempted. As what happened to Joey Dunlop in the 81` TT.
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Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do about it.

[Eddie Hitler]

I eat my shit. So no, as I would stop, fart, then follow through. I would then smear my hands in my glorious creation, feeling the warm smooth texture between by fingers. Worried bystanders glare in horror as my leathers are by my feet.

As I turn around, women scream as they see shit between my lips, my teeth glinting a hazelnut brown in the evening sun. "NOMNOMNOMNOM", I shout. Fuck haters.

You get my drift?

[Nick 50]

If you're on a GZ125 going uphill, yes, farting will indeed make you go faster.


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Current Bikes: ZX7r 97 (Black Beauty), VFR400 NC24 (The banana)
Previous Bikes: Aprilia Tuono 03 (The Beast), CBR600f (97)
First bike: A GZ125 Lemon.......

[BigDan1190]

Weight reduction, every little helps.

[ZRX61]

On the same subject (sort of)...

If you're hooning down the road, wearing all your gear etc & have some tart on the back & squeeze one out: It will travel up your bum crack, then be released into your jacket, it will then travel up your spine & make a bid for freedom out of your collar... straight into the helmet of your passenger.

She won't be pleased. Trust me, I found out.

Also! If you're on a group ride & feel the need to fart. At least have the decency to stand up on the pegs so the people riding behind you realize what you are doing & can hold their breath just long enough to pass through your cloud of errant arse particles without having to taste or smell it.
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They're not one night stands, they're auditions.

[Davenaylor]

Slightly on topic.

I was out for a small (10 miles interval training run) last night. The last mile is a slow run home and I spent the whole of it desperate for a shit. I didn't know whether to sprint and risk a shart or to slow holding my bum cheeks together. In the end I did both, sprinting making me go faster and walked making the poo magically suck back up my colon giving instant relief. Very odd!

Back on topic, moral of the story, never fasten your trousers and jacket together while carrying a female pillion!

[yen_powell]

I can never actually fart unless I lift my small but perfectly formed bot off the seat a little.
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Blackmail is a nasty word........but not as nasty as phlegm!
XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits

[prawny1]

https://i604.photobucket.com/albums/tt128/prawny1-2009/970072_384714361629348_638760711_n_zpsedc6bea8.jpg

That is all
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hellkat wrote:

Some people are only alive cos its against the law to kill them.

[RhynoCZ]

[Davenaylor]

I was looking for bushes, pubs, front gardens, anything!

in future I'll just start crawling

[Notj7]

Fart on a YZF R125 and it'll give you an extra 2mph top-end for the remainder of the fart, so make sure you're packing a good one!!
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Left the forum.

[pepperami]

[TheBikerStig]

[Notj7]

[UnspeedySam]

[pepperami]

If you lot could see yourselves
Sitting behind a keyboard , reading a thread about farting on motorbikes
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I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[Eddie Hitler]

[Eddie Hitler]

[Bigmal]

My brothers was walking in Chesterfield with his 3 year old son for some reason and he needed a shit. It got so bad, he could not find a loo or a pub- anything. So he eventually found this kindly old lady and asked where the nearest public loo was and that he was as desperate as one can be. The old lady understood his predicament perfectly and offered to watch after his son and gave detailed directions to the nearest convienence.
My brothers turtle was beginning to show and in shear panic he forgot the instructions given too him and just when things were about to get ugly he spotted a large bush that he dived behind and was able to get his bottom out just in time to give birth to the biggest poo of his entire life, so big in fact that he calls it The Chesterfield Shit. After what seemed an age he looked about him only to see a teenage girl in a car parked in a car park staring at him, her expression was apparently beyond words, he then stood up to get back to his son when right in front of him was a public toilet...
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Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do about it.

[331X2]

In Chesterfield? That was probably her 'want' face

[331X2]

In Chesterfield? That was probably her 'want' face

[andym]

So if the biker in front farts would the following biker get an extra burst of speed because of the methane gas or would it slow it down because of the dirty air?

[prawny1]