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Ariel Badger
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PostPosted: 23:50 - 05 Nov 2013    Post subject: Ok so you is dead. Reply with quote

What do you want for your remains?
Me, any good organs to be recycled.
Tattooed Skin on my chest and right arm to be given to my friend Georg (some of you have met her) a talented artist who will make something impressive with it.
The rest to medical science and all the implanted metal to be recycled.
Memorial service of a non religious type with lots of loud bikes jazz and Elgar.
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 00:00 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Burn me in a field for the cost of the gasoline and wood, kick the ashes about so the rain can soak them into the ground, final bill no more than £25. Job's a good'un.
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Howling TerrorOutOfOffice
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PostPosted: 00:01 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any good bits re-used, the bad bits can be thrown around by med students.
Service can be sorted out by family, I'm non religious too but not really fussed whether they choose formal or otherwise. I trust them to give me a good send off and would like some of the music I've made to be played at some point. [edit] This one, as it also has my dog growling at me...it means she loves me.

My Bikes will be donated to the BCF BBQ under the proviso that they don't survive.
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Last edited by Howling TerrorOutOfOffice on 00:08 - 06 Nov 2013; edited 1 time in total
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Shaft
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PostPosted: 00:07 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's becoming fairly clear that my body isn't much use to me while I'm alive, so it's not likely to be helping anyone out when I'm gone.

I'm not really fussed if I have a planting or a fry up, but I would quite like there to be some sort of physical sign that I was ever here, maybe a bench or a tree with my name on it.
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Boxing
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PostPosted: 00:39 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Meh, my family / the people around me can do what they want with my body. No good to me, I'll be dead. And I'm not religious.
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 00:47 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have expressed my wish that my corporeal remains be disposed of at public expense.

Mrs stinkwheel has been instructed to refuse to take posession of the body or arrange anything to do with its disposal.

Someone will have to do something with it eventually, if only because of the smell.
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metalangel
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PostPosted: 00:55 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Carve me up and give any working parts to people who need them. Burn the rest.
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oldpink
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PostPosted: 01:19 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

shove a bone up my ass and let the local dogs drag me away Thumbs Up
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 02:15 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

stinkwheel wrote:
I have expressed my wish that my corporeal remains be disposed of at public expense.

Mrs stinkwheel has been instructed to refuse to take posession of the body or arrange anything to do with its disposal.

Someone will have to do something with it eventually, if only because of the smell.


I did try that one on with the missus (in all seriousness) but she was having none of it. "Don't be so selfish, a proper ceremony would be important to US".

Meh, it'll be your money darling, I'll have stopped giving a shit at that point.
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CarlosCBR
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PostPosted: 03:15 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Had this conversation with a lad at work yesterday! I personally couldn't give a monkeys.... As said, I'll be dead!
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Visitor Q
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PostPosted: 04:33 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Considering a funeral is mostly for the poor saps left alive, you're all being a bit selfish...

As long as it's cheap, and doesn't involve religion, I could give a fuck Thumbs Up
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Kai.Wilson
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PostPosted: 06:27 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
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drzsta
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PostPosted: 06:50 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Snatch, good film.
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 06:59 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tibetan sky burial......I suppose the english equivalent will involve pigeons, rats amd stray cats, somewhat less glamourous.

GhostRider
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 07:39 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds really cheesy, but I would like to be buried and the a tree or a bush planted on top.
I don't mind what they do with most of my organs, but they cannot have my heart or my eyes.
I have my own personal beliefs , spiritual/religious/whatever you want to call it so they cannot have my heart or my eyes.

I`m not fussed if someone wants to tell me how selfish I am, but that`s it.

Back to the cheesy stuff : I hope that the tree/shrub they plant over me flourishes and is the focus for lots of wildlife for a long time.
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anthony_r6
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PostPosted: 07:57 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

I couldn't give a damn what they do with my corpse once I'm dead. I resent the fact that a funeral is the normal route, I'll be fucked if they think I'm paying for it.
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pinkyfloyd
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PostPosted: 08:04 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was going to write something about burning me and yadda yadda but truth is. I'll be dead. I wont care.
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groovylee
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PostPosted: 08:06 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any useful organs donated to whoever needs them. The rest can be cremated.

A small plaque would be nice somewhere, and I'd like to write my own eulogy (or whatever it's called)

As said before, no religious beliefs, so whatever would be the best use of the body, but keeping the family happy at the same time Thumbs Up

All a bit academic really seeing as I'm immortal...... Mr. Green
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 08:15 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

I want to be embalmed and a great tower built in my name to house me in with effigies of gold and stone made of me for all to worship.

No different to life really, except the embalming bit.
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James83
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PostPosted: 09:18 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

I WILL be recycled for parts. Beyond that, as others have said, its for my family rather than me.

Forced to choose? Viking burial. Boat, petrol, relatives on the shore with flaming arrows.
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BTTD
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PostPosted: 09:35 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hetzer wrote:
Burn me in a field for the cost of the gasoline and wood, kick the ashes about so the rain can soak them into the ground, final bill no more than £25. Job's a good'un.


Open air burnings are apparently very difficult to arrange in terms of council permission, and you'd need a pretty decent wood pyre to get a sustained heat for cremation - the body contains a lot of water.
I only know this because I read a news article about a group who were trying to get permission for an open cremation site.

Me, cremation and then bury the urn with a headstone. Job done.
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Derivative
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PostPosted: 09:37 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

jnw010 wrote:
Open air burnings are apparently very difficult to arrange in terms of council permission


Obligatory:

https://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2009/9/25/1253888800105/Ricky-Gervais-001.jpg

Me? Let my family deal with it if they survive me. Else, drag me out of the road and leave me in a ditch. I don't care, they might.
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Ste
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PostPosted: 09:47 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

It wouldn't matter, I would join the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the Great Pasta Bowl to enjoy all the stripper factories and beer volcanoes. Dance!

Burial at sea by trebuchet would be pretty cool.
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Irn-Bru
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PostPosted: 10:12 - 06 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whatever's cheapest Thumbs Up

My granny has recently fully paid her funeral off despite being very much alive and healthy, it shocked me a bit, but I suppose it has to be done.
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