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| oldpink |
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oldpink
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Joined: 02 Aug 2006
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 Posted: 15:58 - 05 Dec 2013  Post subject: Death by flatulance |
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| Quote: | Husband Convicted Of Manslaughter After Dutch Oven Goes "Horribly Wrong"
Mr Brian Flannery was convicted of 2nd Degree Manslaughter today at Peckham Crown Court, receiving a 5 year suspended sentence for the accidental death of his wife, Gloria Flannery, by toxic suffocation, after he gave her a 'Dutch Oven' that went, as the Judge described it, 'horribly, horribly wrong'.
The case for the prosecution argued for the charge of Murder, putting it to the court that, late one weekday evening as Mrs Flannery was reading a Jackie Collins novel in bed and unwinding for sleep, she was suddenly and forcibly pinned under the duvet by Mr Flannery, who sealed the edges with his weight while simultaneously releasing an enormous bolus of flatulence, which displaced all the available oxygen so that Mrs Flannery passed out nearly instantly, and was dead within 30 seconds.
Arguing for the defence, Mr Cavendish QC, stated that Mr Flannery was deeply upset and regretful. The incident was intended as a light-hearted practical joke, indeed it was the first time Mr Flannery had even tried what is commonly known on the street as a 'Dutch Oven', and even then only after hearing some friends talking one evening in the pub after five-a-side football, about 'doing it' to their wives 'all the time'. |
https://www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/69/9/
can only find the one reference to this so not sure if its genuine or not
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Theory & hazard 24-may 2016, CBT 8th June 2016, MOD 1 2nd Aug 2016 Mod 2 2nd-Nov 2016 - Current bike CBR 600 RR |
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| daemonoid |
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daemonoid
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Posted: 16:03 - 05 Dec 2013  Post subject: Re: Death by flatulance |
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| Quote: | The Ronson Writer is a work of satire, fiction, and some factual reporting. Owing to a complicated method employed to maintain the privacy of our contributors, we are not at liberty to disclose which stories are which. Although, it's really not that hard to work it out, if you have the mammalian intelligence above the level of, say, a gnat.
All our characters, with the exception of famous celebrities and politicians, are fictional. Any similarity with members of the general public is coincidental.
In no event will we be liable for any loss or damage including without limitation, indirect or consequential loss or damage, or any loss or damage whatsoever arising from loss of data or profits arising out of or in connection with the use of this website. So there. |
https://www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/1/3/
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@thomasgarrard | www.straitjkt.com | www.racingseven.com |
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| daemonoid |
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daemonoid
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| oldpink |
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oldpink
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Posted: 16:23 - 05 Dec 2013  Post subject: |
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Oh well, gave me a chuckle 
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I have become comfortably numb
Theory & hazard 24-may 2016, CBT 8th June 2016, MOD 1 2nd Aug 2016 Mod 2 2nd-Nov 2016 - Current bike CBR 600 RR |
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| Yoyo |
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Yoyo
Brolly Dolly
Joined: 31 Aug 2012
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Posted: 00:03 - 06 Dec 2013  Post subject: |
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Never try spending the night with Miss S after home made chilli. It is like a gas chamber when she is sleeping.
She can also immasculate me with her farts. To the loint I now do all the cooking and cleaning. 
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| Nobby the Bastard |
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Nobby the Bastard
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Joined: 16 Aug 2013
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| Posted: 13:24 - 06 Dec 2013 Post subject: |
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I thought that the reason that you did the cooking and cleaning was because your 'girlfriend' was a figment of your imagination...
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| The Shaggy D.A. |
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The Shaggy D.A.
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| Posted: 13:41 - 06 Dec 2013 Post subject: |
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He has to cook as Miss S is a horse, and can't use the microwave.
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| Walloper |
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Walloper
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| Posted: 16:05 - 06 Dec 2013 Post subject: Re: Death by flatulance |
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| oldpink wrote: | | Quote: | Husband Convicted Of Manslaughter After Dutch Oven Goes "Horribly Wrong"
Mr Brian Flannery was convicted of 2nd Degree Manslaughter today at Peckham Crown Court, receiving a 5 year suspended sentence for the accidental death of his wife, Gloria Flannery, by toxic suffocation, after he gave her a 'Dutch Oven' that went, as the Judge described it, 'horribly, horribly wrong'.
The case for the prosecution argued for the charge of Murder, putting it to the court that, late one weekday evening as Mrs Flannery was reading a Jackie Collins novel in bed and unwinding for sleep, she was suddenly and forcibly pinned under the duvet by Mr Flannery, who sealed the edges with his weight while simultaneously releasing an enormous bolus of flatulence, which displaced all the available oxygen so that Mrs Flannery passed out nearly instantly, and was dead within 30 seconds.
Arguing for the defence, Mr Cavendish QC, stated that Mr Flannery was deeply upset and regretful. The incident was intended as a light-hearted practical joke, indeed it was the first time Mr Flannery had even tried what is commonly known on the street as a 'Dutch Oven', and even then only after hearing some friends talking one evening in the pub after five-a-side football, about 'doing it' to their wives 'all the time'. |
https://www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/69/9/
can only find the one reference to this so not sure if its genuine or not |
https://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/dutchoven.asp
Man Points revoked. 
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| Walloper |
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Walloper
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| goto10 |
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goto10
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| Posted: 10:24 - 07 Dec 2013 Post subject: Re: Death by flatulance |
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| oldpink wrote: | | Quote: | Husband Convicted Of Manslaughter After Dutch Oven Goes "Horribly Wrong"
Mr Brian Flannery was convicted of 2nd Degree Manslaughter today at Peckham Crown Court, receiving a 5 year suspended sentence for the accidental death of his wife, Gloria Flannery, by toxic suffocation, after he gave her a 'Dutch Oven' that went, as the Judge described it, 'horribly, horribly wrong'.
The case for the prosecution argued for the charge of Murder, putting it to the court that, late one weekday evening as Mrs Flannery was reading a Jackie Collins novel in bed and unwinding for sleep, she was suddenly and forcibly pinned under the duvet by Mr Flannery, who sealed the edges with his weight while simultaneously releasing an enormous bolus of flatulence, which displaced all the available oxygen so that Mrs Flannery passed out nearly instantly, and was dead within 30 seconds.
Arguing for the defence, Mr Cavendish QC, stated that Mr Flannery was deeply upset and regretful. The incident was intended as a light-hearted practical joke, indeed it was the first time Mr Flannery had even tried what is commonly known on the street as a 'Dutch Oven', and even then only after hearing some friends talking one evening in the pub after five-a-side football, about 'doing it' to their wives 'all the time'. |
https://www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/69/9/
can only find the one reference to this so not sure if its genuine or not |
| Ronsonwriter wrote: | The Ronson Writer is a work of satire, fiction, and some factual reporting. Owing to a complicated method employed to maintain the privacy of our contributors, we are not at liberty to disclose which stories are which. Although, it's really not that hard to work it out, if you have the mammalian intelligence above the level of, say, a gnat. |
*Snigger*
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 11 years, 149 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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