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Don't get your grandpa laid

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oldpink
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: 16:19 - 20 Dec 2013    Post subject: Don't get your grandpa laid Reply with quote
it may be bad for his life expectancy

Quote:
A grandfather who won a tryst with two hookers choked to death before he could enjoy his threesome.

Johnny Orris, 86, from Illinois, was entered into a contest by radio shock jock Howard Stern, called “I Want to Get My Grandpa Laid,” by his grandson, Ed Moody.

He told the show he had not had sex since his wife died more than a decade ago, and was awarded the encounter at the legal Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada.

Orris went to the ranch and chose two girls, then headed to a steakhouse in Lake Tahoe, where he died.

His grieving grandson, who was with him, told Radar Online: “He had not been with a woman for 11 years since my grandmother died.

“He had two girls planned out, Caressa Kisses and Vanity – Caressa is all that he talked about. He was going to spend the night with them but he never got back to the Bunny Ranch.

“I think he was eating too fast because he wanted to get there quickly, but sadly he did not make it.

“I was with him. He was choking to death. Hr was eating prime rib and he started choking.”

Moody and the maitre d'hotel tried the Heimlich manouevre and CPR, but after an ambulance took him to hospital he was prounouced dead.

Moody went on: “He was having the greatest day of his life, and it went to hell. He was feeling great. He was being treated like a rock star.”

But his grandad's winnings did not go completely to waste.

Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof let him have a free roll in the hay with one of his girls – though not Caressa Kisses or Vanity.

Hof said the two girls who appeared on Stern's show and named Orris the winner, Caressa and Rain Riches “are distraught and are going to need some sort of counselling.”

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James83
Crazy Courier



Joined: 10 Apr 2013
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PostPosted: 17:00 - 20 Dec 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
I'm sorry, he was not only going to get laid for the first time in a decade, but with 2 women at once, and he decided that could wait until he got a steak? Was he a stupid?

Edit - Also, if one of the largest DJs in the states is footing the bill, why was he at such a crappy whore house that they couldn't bring him a steak while he was there?
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Rogerborg
nimbA



Joined: 26 Oct 2010
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PostPosted: 17:12 - 20 Dec 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
Because ordering "Whorehouse Beefsteak" off the menu might get you something more like:

https://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2009/3/20/1237563027228/Jon-Voigt-in-Midnight-Cow-001.jpg
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Ariel Badger
Super Spammer



Joined: 02 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 18:12 - 20 Dec 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote
I do not mind the risk, send me whores.
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