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Who doesn't live a 'normal' life?

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Tungtvann
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PostPosted: 20:49 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Who doesn't live a 'normal' life? Reply with quote

Normal is subjective of course, but I'll specify how I mean.

Being part of what's sometimes called the 'rat race', living to work, money driven, wanting to earn a decent wage, to pay the bills and support the family.

Have any of you said 'fuck all this' and changed your life's focus? Shunning most of the material things for fulfilment in other ways?

The reason I ask this, is because I'm wanting to find out what other options I have in life and alternate ways of living. I've come to realise most of my life is surrounded by material bullshit, it's not making me a better person, it's not making me happy.

I'm probably not going to get married and have kids, so why dedicate my life to amassing money and possessions for nothing?

I understand work of some kind is nearly always required, we all need to sleep somewhere and eat, but is it necessary to spend the next 15 years in the military to do that?

Maybe it's because I'm on the eve of another Afghanistan deployment, I'm not dreading it at all, I'm looking forward to the experience and money, but what I don't have is my freedom. I value that a lot more than ever.

Someone talk some sense into me and bring me back to earth!
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Northern Monkey
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PostPosted: 20:53 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Re: Who doesn't live a 'normal' life? Reply with quote

Tungtvann wrote:
Normal is subjective of course, but I'll specify how I mean.

Being part of what's sometimes called the 'rat race', living to work, money driven, wanting to earn a decent wage, to pay the bills and support the family.

Have any of you said 'fuck all this' and changed your life's focus? Shunning most of the material things for fulfilment in other ways?

The reason I ask this, is because I'm wanting to find out what other options I have in life and alternate ways of living. I've come to realise most of my life is surrounded by material bullshit, it's not making me a better person, it's not making me happy.

I'm probably not going to get married and have kids, so why dedicate my life to amassing money and possessions for nothing?

I understand work of some kind is nearly always required, we all need to sleep somewhere and eat, but is it necessary to spend the next 15 years in the military to do that?

Maybe it's because I'm on the eve of another Afghanistan deployment, I'm not dreading it at all, I'm looking forward to the experience and money, but what I don't have is my freedom. I value that a lot more than ever.

Someone talk some sense into me and bring me back to earth!


Come back from arse-crack-istan. Chuck some bags on the bike, and spend all of your post deployment leave travelling about.

Spend all your time in the sandpit planning your trip

???

Profit
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Clanger
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PostPosted: 20:56 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Define 'normal'...?

I do work...though I don't work 9-5, and I don't join the rat race per se...I work with people (children mostly).

Actually I outlined my 'weird' existence in the PoF thread quite recently, as I don't fit in. I never have and probably never will. But I don't care.

I save money to travel. Be it out and about on the bike or in the car in the UK, or overseas. I don't spend on consumerism or material goods. I am quite happy riding about in motorbike kit that's as old as the hills. Cool My mobile phone is old skool too. Mr. Green Thumbs Up
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mentalboy
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PostPosted: 21:01 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't have a 'normal' life, does anyone?

If you like being in the military then stick with it. If you've got to work then there'd be nothing worse than doing a job you hate.

Stick with it, earn your pension and when you finally find yourself in civvies you'll at least have some finances to fall back on if things go belly up, especially if you don't piss your wages away in the NAAFI and save/invest as much as you can for a rainy day
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el_oso
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PostPosted: 21:22 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I live the normal London life.

Cocaine on a Monday to bring you back up after a heavy weekend so you can sit in an office all day browsing BCF. Brasses on a Wednesday. Can't even remember what I do from Friday to Sunday.
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Tungtvann
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PostPosted: 21:23 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

I suppose those that have the freedom and time to do what they want when they want don't have the money to do so!

I'm going to have to reach a balance, the army does pay me fairly well and the time off is good too, I'm going to need to make the most or every week I have off. I haven't really done that as much as I should have.
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mentalboy
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PostPosted: 21:28 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

All things are possible, with or without money. You just have to get more creative in your approach with the less you have.
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 21:34 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

I sacked off the idea of the classical rat race after giving it a go and realising quickly that it's a shit game where the winners are often just lucky or born rich, or are brown-nosers.

Now I'm at uni and won't even be graduating till I'm 30 or 31, after which I intend to find work that I deem somehow useful for society, probably in the area of nuclear or renewable energy, or work in university research if I end up finding something I'm really into.

The main thing I don't want to do is just follow the path of money and career. I've slowly come to the conclusion that no person should be measured by their wealth or assets (because of the reason I outlined in the first sentence of this post). I prefer to judge people on their character and their lifestyle - rich or poor bares no merit, it's your attitude and actions that I'm most interested in. So yeah I guess my guiding motivation is to make myself into a person who is somehow a properly useful cog in society, rather than one of the self-interested players of the overall corporate game.

I guess that's a little bit different from the sort of typically understood definition of 'normal', but then I reckon everyone thinks their way of living is individual in some way..?

If it's about making your life better or having some vision for the future, I would say it's bes to set ideas or goals for things you'd like to achieve, then just work on it slowly. The best things, in my opinion, are intellectual or active pursuits, because they don't often require much financial input at all, so you never feel restricted as you go on learning and growing as a person. This was at least the case for me. I've not been happier since I started studying, even when I had to take some awful 4am shifts at a local sainsburys to get myself some money. I still had my study material and the motivation to improve myself, so everything else was just baggage around the core motivation for my living at that time. This sort of attitude could extend to any goal, hobby or pastime.

Sorry a little preachy in that last paragraph, but it did work for me. I hated everything until I had something I was freely working towards.
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MCW
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PostPosted: 21:58 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Re: Who doesn't live a 'normal' life? Reply with quote

Tungtvann wrote:
Someone talk some sense into me and bring me back to earth!

'Sense' is also subjective. 15 years is a long time to stay in a job if it is not what you want. There is so much more to life than work. From your post, the dissatisfaction sounds more than just with your job.

After 4 years in the army, I went into corporate banking in the 'greed is good' era. I was miserably unhappy and one day just quit. I put everything I could in the back of a really ancient Citroen Dyane and set off round the world. I got as far as Portugal and fell in love with the country (a good thing), the people (a good thing), and a swarthy Brazilian (not a good thing). Never got any further on my world tour, came back a few years later with a surprise daughter who has always been the light of my life.

Since then I have mostly worked with kids and young people. Gove has made this impossible as we are as idealogically opposed as it is possible to be, and I cannot teach in the shit way he dictates. So I'm off again, and looking at alternative ways to make a living.

Imho, the most important thing is to be doing something in step with your values. If you are, then great. If not, then change it. Try to imagine how you would like your life to be in 1, 5, 10 years and then work out what you need to do to make it so.
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 22:02 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Re: Who doesn't live a 'normal' life? Reply with quote

MCW wrote:

Imho, the most important thing is to be doing something in step with your values.


This sounds about right Karma Thumbs Up
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1198
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PostPosted: 22:10 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Who cares if you're 'normal'? Just do what makes you happy - but bear in mind it's easier being unhappy with money in your pocket that unhappy in a bedsit. I've done both. I can now afford a few of life's luxuries, but am I happier than 20 years ago in a bedsit in Greater Manchester with who I thought was the love of my life? I don't know, but if I've got to live 175 miles from where I want to be at least I'm not starving.
The Armed Forces offer many things, but demand a lot too (hence 175 miles). I'd say take care in your decision.
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TheSmiler
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PostPosted: 22:10 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Personally I'm looking into getting out of the rat race, it will be a push and a lot of hard work but it will be worth it. I've got a couple ideas just depends which pays off.

Depends what you want out of life really and any goals you are thinking about. Although saying that out of the rat race and not needing to work constantly I think might get boring.
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MCW
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PostPosted: 22:13 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

TheSmiler wrote:
Personally I'm looking into getting out of the rat race.

I thought you'd only just got in it...! Mr. Green
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 22:23 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lot of soul searching going on at the moment Tungtvann. Don't amass money for nothing. Amass it for SOMETHING. What do you WANT to do? Travel the world on a bike? Or on foot? You might find your place in life whilst doing it, someone you meet, something you see or get involved in.

You could finish your time in the Army, and still have the best years of your life ahead of you. Who knows, it's all a roll of the dice.

I could've done a lot more with my time in the RAF - dirt cheap food and accommodation, so most of my wage was pocket money. Pissed most of it up the wall though Rolling Eyes

So yeah, stay away from that fkn NAAFI bop! Laughing
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Tungtvann
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PostPosted: 22:28 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Re: Who doesn't live a 'normal' life? Reply with quote

MCW wrote:
Tungtvann wrote:
Someone talk some sense into me and bring me back to earth!

After 4 years in the army, I went into corporate banking in the 'greed is good' era. I was miserably unhappy and one day just quit. I put everything I could in the back of a really ancient Citroen Dyane and set off round the world. I got as far as Portugal and fell in love with the country (a good thing), the people (a good thing), and a swarthy Brazilian (not a good thing). Never got any further on my world tour, came back a few years later with a surprise daughter who has always been the light of my life.

That's really interesting and what I like to hear about.

What was your plan? Did you have a final goal? Was this supported by your savings?

I never did the whole uni thing, a chance to meet other young people and just doss around a bit, learning about myself. I was in the army at 21 and it's only recently I've really started to try and work out who I am but feel restricted by work. You're supposed to do all that before you embark on a career!

Career breaks are (were?) possibly in the military, an unpaid year or 2 with your job back at the end of it. Seemingly designed for people in a situation like me, maybe after a year I'd have found what I was looking for and either happily return to work or realise that I've got other goals and get out.

I'm going to buy a place when I get back from tour and rent that out, so at least I'll be okay for money whatever I choose to do. I haven't pissed it away just yet!
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Pigeon
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PostPosted: 22:31 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Always just drifted on the breeze......until I hit 27 (2007), then had a panic attack that drifting was a glorified way of saying "passing by".

Plus all the men on my family died of cancers of one thing or another by the age of 59, and the woman lost their minds (probably by being married to the men in our family) with dementia, alzheimers etc

Now, I'm fairly sure that I will be made redundant (hopefully not sacked) over the next 2-3 years. So I'm just banking coin with a view to pissing off round the world on an XR400 or similar.
Being on a bike and getting those brief moments of surprise, laughter, joy that overwhelms and scenery that takes your breath away. Those moments when your soul is at peace, completely in that place and time. That to me is time well spent. Time spent queuing on the same roads, sat at the same desk, listening to the same BS gossip about the same BS TV, or the same BS management speak for "do more with less" for the same cunts who masquerade as friends but are only ever interested in what they get out of the relationship. Life is a miracle, and the above is just a BS waste.

But each to their own Smile

On the plus side, I don't get tortured for dancing like an idiot. I don't have to walk 2 hours just to get water that will probably give me the shits. There is a lot to be thankful for. But that doesn't stop me wanting to get up from me desk chair and cave everyone’s head in with a bat and run full speed into each wall in the building, smashing through it out of willpower and rage as my bones break and skin is flayed.

So spending time on a bike is nicer Smile

Have not been hooked on material things until very recently. At 31 I found that some stuff is great. So thats a bit of the reverse of most folk I guess.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 23:38 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

What about becoming a contract killer?
A bit "off the wall" in terms of "normal lifestyle".
Always bound to be loads of business, I'm sure

Tungtvann: master assassin.
Kinda like the sound of that

You could be a bit different: a poisoner or something.
Tungtvann: strangler to the stars.


I should go. I'm spending too long with the serial killers

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Teflon-Mike
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PostPosted: 23:47 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a disabled single parent. Pretty 'normal' round here. Only significant difference is I'm a bloke!

Twenty years ago; I was a rocket scientist; managing the design, development & testing of missile guidance systems... fun but shit pay; I moved to telecoms. Boring but better paid.

I'm not money motivated; to me its just a tool that helps you do things; and I actually walked away from the family fortune; not that it was that huge, or much use; family was land rich, penny poor; so I would have been rich or impoverished as I am now, just in a bigger house with a nicer view!

But; I was 'comfortable'. Decent job, decent pay; and I fully anticipated that I would make director level by the time I was 45, and be looking to retire comfortably at 55, mortgage paid.

Telecoms company I was working for ten years ago, was in trouble, and dolling out redundancies; and that coincided with trouble at home; so I took a package; and became a house husband; planned to live on savings for about a year before deciding what to do next; wasn't as though I was short of options; agencies were calling me up two three times a week with offers.

But, life is like the weather or riding a motorbike; a balance of competing forces, and while you might THINK you have it all sussed... nah! We are just leaves in the wind, mate. Influence we have over our own destiny is but slight, and while we may expect things to stay the same, and we can make the best plans we can come up with... LIFE happens around us, and often has other ideas.

I never 'planned' to be a disabled single parent... but here I am!

ANYTHING can happen, and you can wake up one morning, and have a completely different view of the world to the night before. Doesn't have to take anything happening or something in your world changing; you can just get an 'idea'! some ideas make fortunes; other send folk to the loonie bin! Some send people off round the world; others to the shop for a bottle of vodka.

Life is what we make it. And its only a rat race if THAT is how you look at it.

The only thing in life stopping any-one from being happy, regardless of their family, upbringing, circumstances, situation, relationships, qualifications, skills or possessions.... is in your head, and being HAPPY with the little things that make you happy; rather than being sad at not having the big things you THINK will make you happy.

Appreciate what you got; count your blessings and make the best of; hope for the best, expect the worst, and don't let the buggers grind you down. Grass is greener, not all that glitters and all that crap, which all has some seed of truth in it.

And remember; living is easy, you just have to keep breathing... so keep your fucking head down, and come back after your tour in one piece!
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 23:48 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel a Shania Twain moment coming on...
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 23:55 - 21 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

I passed (arguably) the hardest degree course available in the UK. I got a job in that field because fuck-you, I'm worth employing. I'm a better worker than a student and I was a pretty fucking good student.

I consider myself fortunate to have realised, before the age of 30, that there are many things worth a whole lot more than money.

As such, I am still in the same job. With my qualification and experience I could walk out of my job right now into one which pays more than double my current salary.

Fuck. That. Shit.

I earn more than I need to spend. I spend less half what I earn. I have a beautiful wife who is much younger and prettier than me and thinks I'm the most beautiful man in the world. I'm paying off my house at less than 20% of my (solo) income.

I own six motorcycles. Two fo them are running. One is pretty decent and goes faster than I can ride.

My last work appraisal (interesting because I've been here for longer than my boss and was given first refusal on owning the business. I refused, my boss knows it.). I asked for more time off instead of a pay rise. Time is what it's all about. Money is worth the sum total of fuck-all without your own time.

Shoot him before he shoots you.
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P.addy
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PostPosted: 05:19 - 22 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

stinkwheel wrote:
I'm basically Jesus


Fair play, good on you Thumbs Up

I earn more than I could need really, I just spend it like a bell end.

I got lucky with a bike accident (is that even possible?) and got paid out a decent sum so I live on that if I REALLY need to, but aim is to save as much from December and then blow it someone important and costly so I have something to show for it.
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TheCatSatOnTh...
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PostPosted: 05:31 - 22 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

stinkwheel wrote:
I passed (arguably) the hardest degree course available in the UK.


You're an actor?
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krarkol
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PostPosted: 06:04 - 22 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only materialistic things I want really are things that give me fun experiences, stuff like a bike or a fast car. Or maybe my own plane if it was affordable! Laughing

I've got friends talking about settling down, saving up for deposits on future houses etc and tbh I couldn't give a toss. I'm enjoying being single and free.

I do think about it at times and just wonder if I've just never grown up, or if I'm just a realist and can see that I don't really need them things right now. I'd only ever get my own place if I really needed too.

The friends I've mentioned have got multiple homes they can live in (split up parents, grandparents) so I don't see why they want to get out so much.

We are all 21 aswell, so it's not like I'm some 45 year old still living with my dad! Wink
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 06:07 - 22 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

stinkwheel wrote:

I consider myself fortunate to have realised, before the age of 30, that there are many things worth a whole lot more than money.

I asked for more time off instead of a pay rise. Time is what it's all about. Money is worth the sum total of fuck-all without your own time.



This. I'm in a not very well paid job, don't have your skills stinkwheel, but I still dropped a day from my working week, with the resulting pay cut, to have more time of my own. I'm lucky in that I'm in a situation now where I could afford to do that. It may change at some point so I have to work a full week, but for now, I enjoy every minute of my own time, even though I have to watch the pennies a bit.

Having said that, things could be about to change for the better money-wise for me, but at what price? My father is terminally ill, currently in hospital for maybe the last time, and my brother and I stand to receive a fair whack of money, plus the house when he passes away. But who'd want to lose their father for their situation to improve? Very mixed feelings here.

And then, when the inevitable does finally happen, how best to use that money? Knowing me, there'll be no settling down - more likely to be a case of do what I want to do while I still can and sod the future. Travel will figure large in those "plans". I wouldn't want to be sat on a pot of money, and see it just frittered away on taxes and living this "normal life" of which Tungtvann speaks. Life's too short for that bollocks.
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The Artist
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PostPosted: 06:51 - 22 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Watch The Big Lebowski.

Also, the lyrics to that song by Reverend and the Makers.

Quote:
Get born, get school, get job, get car pay tax and find a wife, And on that note
The end can't come too soon
If you're not living on the edge
You take up too much room
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