How to stop girlfriend being a lazy immature layabout

[Tierbirdy]

So a little background and mini rant incoming.

Ive been with current girlfriend for coming on 7 years now, however over the last year or so she seems to have been regressing into a stroppy Kevin the Teenager, shes 23 and acts like a 13 year old.

For example: I work my nuts off juggling full time college with full time work, I pay all the bills, sort out all the admin for the house and generally take care of everything. She works part time (10 hours a week at the very most) earning barely enough to pay her half of the rent and thats about it. Any leftover money she then pisses away on fucking mars bars and choccy milkshake or fucks off to see her friends.

All I ask in return is she does a bit of housework whilst Im at work, seems fair to me. Except to her its not, she rolls out of bed around midday, sits infront of TV/youtube all day, does sweet fuck all. House looks like an absolute shit-hole, mountains of unwashed dishes and piles of laundry etc. Its not just a one off, its every single day... then when finally we have nothing to eat off or cook with she will (with a constant barrage of moaning and "ITS SO UNFAIR" and "WHY CANT YOU DO IT?") begrudgingly do a half-assed job of the bare minimum to scrape by that evening.

Her excuses almost always boil down to "well why dont you do it?" or "Well you dont do anything on your days off!" (despite the fact I get maybe one or two actual full days off a month if Im lucky)

I love her to bits, but her current attitude of acting like a spoilt moody bitch makes me want to just kick her ass out on the street and live like a bachelor king.

Am I the one being unreasonable and just wanting her to pull her own weight? Ive tried talking to her but it is impossible to have a sensible discussion with her about anything, because the moment you say anything she doesnt want to hear she just makes a loud HUFF noise and blanks you out.

The next problem is that in 3 weeks time, Im going to uni on the other side of the country, shes staying here... except shes put no effort into looking for a full time job or any way of surviving whilst Im gone, because like fuck am I going to be paying for her to live while Im at uni. Shes going to be up shit creek without the faintest hint of a paddle, yet she doesnt seem bothered by this at all... I dont know what to do to try and get through to her. Part of me thinks shes possibly depressed or suffering from social anxiety or something like that... the other half thinks shes a lazy spoilt bitch whos parents are loaded and have spoiled her all her life so she has no concept of work or money or how to live. She has no motivation or desire to do anything with her life. Weve been together almost 7 years, for the first 2 years she was in college doing some useless art diploma or some bullshit like that, then for the next 4 years she sat on her ass unemployed doing nothing, only in the last 6 months or so has she finally got a job and thats only because I went utterly spastic apeshit mental at her because I found out she had been lying about going to the job center claiming JSA (she had been going for a while, but simply stopped going because she couldnt be bothered, too much effort to sign on once a fortnight) and got a court summons for non payment of council tax, plus I did all the work of actually finding her a job, all she had to do was turn up at the interview and not cock it up.

TL;DR - girlfriend is a lazy immature useless layabout whos fucking both me and herself over, what do?

I dont want to seem like a cunt for simply cutting my losses and dumping her when I go to uni and she stops being my problem, but at this rate that seems to be my only option. I love her to bits and I like her family etc. and theyve all been a massive part of my life for the past 7 years... but I cant stand what shes turning into.

[Hetzer]

What, exactly, is there about her to "love to bits"? She gives you mega head or something?

It's probably because you're going away to uni and, effectively, leaving her.
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[Tierbirdy]

To be honest, I really dont know anymore. Sometimes (usually after shes particularly pissed me off) part of me feels like Im only sticking with her out of habit.

I just dont know why this has started happening, theres no apparent reason for it, shes just becoming a stroppy manchild instead of growing up shes becoming more immature.

Regarding going to uni, she was particularly pissed off about that. I applied to several unis, out of which the only one she wanted to move to was Plymouth uni (we used to live in plymouth, she liked it there). Plymouth uni rejected me, they all rejected me except London St George's. She actually told me that I should decline the offer and try again next year, despite the fact the course Im on is an incredibly competitive course and theres no guarantees whatsoever I would get ANY offers next year.

She seems incapable of seeing the bigger picture, Im not sticking in a dead end minimum wage job for the rest of my life just to keep her happy. It seems like I either have to choose between her happiness, or my ambitions and career- but I feel like a dick for putting myself first.

[Commuter_Tim]

[Ste]

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

Bail.

Or Tit, Gary, Bail.
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[Pie-Roe]

Sack her off mate. You think it'll be better another 5 years down the line when you are working all the hours going to try and break into a career as a graduate, and she's doing nowt?
What about when you have kids? She going to expect you to do everything for them too?

It's not worth your time. If you want to make it easier, do it a week or so before you go to uni and don't give an address so she can't just turn up.
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[Ben90]

I vote

https://www.3dfocus.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Bachelor-King-3D-Poster.jpg

Not worth your time.

Buy some wellies and go to uni There are far too many opportunities in life, don't tie yourself down with someone who doesn't make you happy.
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[Tierbirdy]

[_Iain_]

Need pics of girlfreind to decide if it's worth it or not.
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[Boris the spider]

Never noticed what age you are.

Obviously too young to be saddled with a lazy bint like what you make out she is.

love her to bits. ... WHY ?

You have just pulled her apart. She does nowt. Causes you problems.


Dump her dude. Get on with life.
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Yes I'm a pig....And yes... The working public do pay my wages. Tho I contribute to your benefits you lazy c##t. You do not pay my wages. So go fcuk yourself.

[Ben90]

[dydey90]

Two options:

-take her with you to uni, if you think you can. Bearing in mind you'll be in shared accommodation and have to do coursework around her.

-drop her like hot shit. London is a big place, I'm sure you'll find a girl there who's willing to try the grapefruit technique on you.

Have you talked to her about rent and bills when you go to uni? Tell her to write down how much money she won't have left at the end of the month and see if it has any affect.
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[dodgydog]

[dodsi]

You're a soft touch for allowing her to do this for so long, if you move away she will probably cheat on you anyways.

Ditch it and get on with your life.

[metalangel]

[Eddie Hitler]

What everyone else said. .

[Bendy]

She'll be up the duff to trap you within the month.

[Tierbirdy]

[dodsi]

You know the answer already, all we want is a reaction video.

[deeds]

Sound like your are talking yourself into pulling the plug on her life support.

Pull away don't look back.

[Tierbirdy]

I wasnt really looking for advice on whether/how to dump her, but tbh that seems to be the overwhelming consensus

In all seriousness though lately I have been feeling more like a dad looking after a toddler than her partner... if she doesnt sort her shit out over the next few months, Ill be slowly moving all my stuff out bit by bit every time I come to visit...

Also the Uni offers 6 month placements in Gibraltar... maybe I just wont come back, weather's bound to be a bit nicer over there too, and some nice Mediterranean girls to fan me and feed me grapes

[metalangel]

[Tracey Suntan-King]

Auntie Tracey says, you and we all know that the relationship is, without doubt, over.

You're in the exit doorway already, with a lot to look forward to.

End it, firmly. Your lives are already heading in different directions, she's not your responsibility.

Don't waste time telling her it's her fault, be gracious, "it's not you it's me" style. Tell you want more from life and that going to Uni is something you're going to do, alone.

Make the break. She'll survive and you will thrive.

Don't look back.
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[scorps]

what are you still doing with her??????? Seriously chap, she wont change. if you dump her she will find some one else to look after her, or end up getting evicted. If she hasnt changed by now she wont in the near future, look on moving away as an escape.
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